Porn Stars, Stop Trying To Be Singers!

Categories: Advice

I'm not even going to name names here.

You all know who I mean (because you follow the music world so closely--yeah, that's it!)

But whenever I hear about some ripening porn idol who has a new "dance hit," I cringe, knowing it will probably be off key, off kilter, and way off my personal chart.

Especially when they sing it live.

I totally admire anyone who mulititasks, mind you, especially these days.

And I'm thrilled when a porn actor seems to know their career clock is ticking and they'd better start branching out.

(Too many of them seem to think their steroidal looks will keep them going longer than Meryl Streep. Delusional!)

But thinking they can break into big-time music out of sheer will is an even bigger stretch than their butt.

Assuming that their looks--and the ability to sell them--will automatically translate into an arena audience is poignant at best.

It's generally not gonna happen, especially when the notes tend to veer off the road like a sloppy bottom letting a top's business slip out of his mouth.

And when you watch them shimmying around up there, desperately trying to be Ricky Martin, you don't even find them sexy anymore.


If porn stars want to branch out, they should just direct like everyone else.

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