Tony-Winning Ex Child Star Writes Bawdy, Hilarious Tweets

By Michael Musto Tue., Aug. 28 2012 at 12:00 PM

In 1991, 11-year-old Daisy Eagan won the 1991 best Featured Actress in a Musical Tony for her performance in Secret Garden, but her garden isn't so secret anymore.

Today, Daisy--who's playing Joe's Pub on September 17--writes a nonstop spewing of funny tweets for the world to see, and I must say I recommend them more than most of the stuff on Broadway nowadays.

For example:

"Decided to take the word 'cunt' out of the first line of my show. You're welcome."

"My new headshots say I may have short hair but I enjoy penises."

"Forgot hairspray. There go my hopes of getting laid tonight."

"Ladies, when he tries to make you think you're being 'crazy', feel free to point out he's being a dick."

"I once told a homeless man to 'keep it real,' so no, I'm not proud of myself."

"Whenever I see an ad where the woman is a bitchy cunt, I'm like 'I'm totally gonna buy that now'."

"The wife in the Jack in the Box commercial is so cunty it makes me want to eat a bunch of shitty fast food."

And best of all:

Glad to see some child stars grow up just fine, thank you.

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camim21

Daisy, I've already said this to you personally but I'd like to say it publicly. "Ex Child Star", hmmm... You definitely are not a child. You, by choice, are not a big celebrity. But you have never ceased to be remarkable, admirable, and one hell of a bold, brilliant, beautiful broad. In whatever capacity she chooses, Ms. Eagan is here to stay; to captivate audiences with her insightful and provocative wit, her self-deprecating charm, and her uniquely fearless vulnerability. Daisy, you truly have earned a life-long standing ovation.

bri_ein

omg! so funny esp. the last one.

FredsterNYC topcommenter

The Wiesler.'s are not gonna like this.

deestin1972

LOL she's a riot! Love that , "My new headshots say I may have short hair but I enjoy penises." one..hehe

I, myself, have long hair (now), and I have never enjoyed a penis (I'm a chick), and I'm 40! Yes.. a real life 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'.. But technically, I'm not a virgin (won't try and explain that one). I have visited myself upon the ladies a few times. I'm open to penises, I am just not always fond with my legs are open. ;-)

Anyway, she's got a hella'va of a lot of wit about her, and lovely to view one's eyes upon. :-)