Arctic Expert Predicts Final Collapse Of Sea Ice Within Four Years!

Categories: Advice

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Around the same time that Obama's second term will be coming to an end, the world will become wetter than Axl Rose's arm pits during a reunion tour.

What a ghastly moment that will be!

And this isn't just hearsay.

A noted expert swears that a global disaster is in the making, and the sea ice is about to go plotz.

It's just not cold enough to create the right amount of ice, and when it is created, it can't stay that way.

The world has become like a giant refrigerator that's on the blink but is unreturnable.

But it might be fixable.

Says the guy, who's an eminent professor:

"We must urgently reduce CO2 emissions...and examine other ways of slowing global warming."

Among those ways, he includes reflecting the sun's rays back into space, making clouds whiter, and seeding the ocean with minerals.

Hey, I know! Maybe we should send Tan Mom up to the Arctic with a huge reflector.

We should probably just send her there anyway.


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6 comments
AJAX
AJAX

This is The End. Better Fuck some more 20+ somethings.

clairesayswhat
clairesayswhat

@mikeymusto Genius! Let's send Kim K with her in reflector shorts and we'll be all set!

blissbaby
blissbaby

I'll have my cocktail glass out, waiting for some ice cubes to plop in.

ladybug9
ladybug9

In fact, let's send Snooki up there too.

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