99-Cent Shopping: Here's How To Do It

Categories: Advice

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No one knows the ins and outs of 99-cent bargain hunting than this little cheapo, so please listen to my pearls of advice, even if they're fake pearls that are only worth $1.06 with tax.

When you go to Jack's 99's various locations or any other 99-cent store, kindly abide by these completely free rules:

*Don't turn into a barbarian, but do be aggressive.

If you stand around politely waiting for a chance to move down the aisle, you'll be knocked over and eaten by the swarm. (They'll see it as another bargain.) So move carefully and energetically toward your destination or you'll get lost in the discount shuffle.


*If you see something amazing there, buy large quantities of it. You may never see that item again.

I learned this the hard way when I assumed Jack's would always carry frozen waffles. But in a horrific quirk of fate, they stopped doing so a couple of years ago! What these stores carry often seems randomly capricious, so your visits there can be as chancy as a date with a rentboy.

But rather than sing "If I Could Turn Back Time," I've simply changed my purchasing philosophy. Recently, when I found piles of whole wheat gnocchi there, I scooped up enough to feed an army. (Don't worry, it won't go bad. Besides, I consume things very quickly.) And just last week, when they were offering 12-packs of Brisk diet ice tea for 99-cents, I broke my back trying to ride a few of them home on my bike. And I'm glad I did. At eight and a half cents per bottle, it was deliciously reasonable and reasonably delicious.


*When you're all paid up and ready to leave, do so without looking at a single piece of merch on the shelves. Look straight ahead and march to the exit, dearie.

If you so much as glance at a candle, jar of marinated peppers, greeting card, or shower curtain, you will surely start getting overcome with acquisitive longing and you'll find yourself pushing your way right back to the register. You might never even leave.


Which is sort of my dream, actually.


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7 comments
IceRoadHooker
IceRoadHooker

@mikeymusto You nailed it!!! The Jack's experience is like no other. Now can you please interview the guy who does the announcements?!

corinescorner.com
corinescorner.com

The real secret is get there when it opens if you want to find every bread made for 1.29. As the day goes by there is no bread left. I am taking whole wheat cinnamon raisin bread that sells for $4.29 by pepperidge farms and all kinds of low carb bread.

blissbaby
blissbaby

Great advice! And there are three Jack's that I know of, all with different bargains.

nostradavid
nostradavid

Watch out buying quantities of anything edible before you taste it. 

Remember...

"I bought three jars of mango chutney at a clearance sale and found that the stuff does not taste good on a bagel. Now what?"

Used2BMelinda9
Used2BMelinda9

Rule #3 about marching straight to the exit after paying reminds me of my thrift shop rule. Don't look at anyone else in a thrift shop or what they're holding because if they have something fabulous, it will eat at your heart for the rest of the day (or maybe eternity).

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

"You may never see that item again."

 

Amen to that...I scored a Cuinsinart saute pan for $15!

corinescorner.com
corinescorner.com

 @nostradavid 

But that stuff is amazing on any food from Trader Joe's. Or the crab cakes, fish cakes and Lobster cakes you can sometimes find at Jacks.

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