The Worst Sex Ad In History
A friend of mine saw it on a hookup site--and you're just going to have to believe me on that.
It was from a guy who said:
"I'm face down and getting it good tonight.
"Wanna try to get some good dick before he gets back in the morning.
"You walk in, fuck my ass, and leave.
"Must be negative."
Now, let's not even analyze the first three sentences.
They strike me as a bit bold and brash--not to mention a big problem for whoever "he" is, especially if he gets back before the morning--but hey, everyone's entitled to their own favorite hobbies, I guess.
It's the last sentence that bugs me.
Or, rather, bug-chases me.
The bossy bottom's medical demand suggests that he won't be wanting any condoms around--a popular trait amongst gay sex hounds who believe in that old credo "No, fats, no fems, no safe sex."
Crazily, he thinks he's protected because he's only going to accept partners who say they're negative.
What a misguided fool.
The guy's audacity in assuming that just because someone says they're negative then they are negative is poignantly sad.
Newsflash: They might be lying, and besides, even if they think they're negative, they might not really be negative.
And even if they flounce in holding a doctor's report, it wouldn't really be valid unless they'd been tested two seconds ago in the lobby.
I'd love to walk in, stick some information up his butt, and leave.