How Is NYC Suddenly The Most Dangerous Place To Live?

Categories: Advice

So wonders drag star Vodka Stinger, who certainly has a point.

And Vodka elaborates:

"Hurricanes, nor'easters, terrorist attacks, earthquakes, tourists....

"It's all too much!"

It's true.

A formerly sane town where we were always free to pursue our goals and live lives full of positive excitement and activity has become a captive community hectored by all sorts of natural and unnatural disasters that have rendered us battered and traumatized.

It's like we're suddenly Florida meets Thailand, with a hint of Israel!

But as Vodka also points out:

"At least we don't have a President who believes he'll get his own planet when he dies.

"I'll take it."

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Move to Kansas. All there is to worry about is rednecks and tornados.


You win, Dave. especially since they're going to ban large sodas here to reduce morbid obesity! Still, I'd take Isaac and a muffalatta any day over this.


New Orleans is a real party town, too.


And we get hurricanes more often than you guyz (Isaac turned off my power for four days not long ago). That's why we really feel for New Jersey and Long Island and have lotsa folks bringing y'all all kindsa aid and throwin' benefits for ya and stuff.


And I'll bet we have more morbidly obese people here than you do. One of our slogans is, "In other places, ya eat to live. Here, we live to eat," and it's too, too true.


PLUS, we're the Murder Capital of the U.S.!


"You gotta be crazy just to live here," as one of my friends, Ricky Graham, sings..


But we are, and so we do.


It really has gotten scary in the last decade, with blackouts and hurricanes and shit. Still, I don't want to live in New Jersey.


"If you can survive here, you can survive anywhere..."