Buzz Off, Rihanna, Flo Rida, and Kesha! Here's Why I Hate Music!

I name all the major names as I go through the current preponderance of illiterate lyrics, inane meldodies, annoying samples, and crafty attempts to chart a record that would never make the top 100 without some dirty tricks.

Names dropped include the above three moxieish moneymakers, plus Madonna, Gaga, Taylor Swift, and even Celine Dion, for Chrissake.

I also delve into indie rock, clumsy patter, disorienting technology, and overpriced concert tickets for what's basically a large-screen lipsynch show of flop new material.

So turn off your device and read this column.

If you're as discerning a listener as I am, it'll be music to your ears.

Besides, if you don't read it, I shall scream.