Is Madonna Menopausal? One Drag Queen Weighs In

Categories: Drag Queens

lettucerejoice20121.jpg
Drag star Hedda Lettuce entertained that theory in her holiday show, "Lettuce Rejoice," which I saw at the Metropolitan Room last night.

In fact, Hedda sang a whole song about it, to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."

(Sample lyrics, aimed at poor Madge: "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry/No more tampax 'cause your vajayjay's bone dry/Menopause is coming to town...")

In the raucously wicked show, Hedda also ragged on RuPaul's Drag Race:

"Any bitch with a nappy 'do and a blade in her weave can become a star. We had faces then."

She also noted that this time between Christmas and New Year's is "the taint of the holiday season," a time when Hedda admits "I'm in a food coma. I'm shitting cookie dough."

But not being menopausal herself, she still had the energy to recommend holiday gifts, urging, "A chick with a dick is the best present of all. A dick in your ass and tits on your back! You do the math."

Hedda ended by singing "Phylicia Rashad" to the tune of "Feliz Navidad."

I wonder if menopause came to Claire Huxtable's town too.


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
5 comments
FredsterNYC
FredsterNYC

Some say that Hedda would be the Madonna of the Drag World at this point. Funny huh?

bethesda
bethesda

Of chill out. Drag queens do politically incorrect humor.

ashcombe
ashcombe

This article is so ageist and discriminating against women.. and it's so obvious.. the media does it all the time, why are they never questioned?

nostradavid
nostradavid

This recent headline defines the balm, and the side effects.

"MDNA Tour is the Highest Grossing Tour of 2012; Madonna Lights a Cigarette Onstage after Lashing Out at Fans for Smoking"

SouthernDave
SouthernDave

"Spread your legs, Madge

And let your fans stare

But try not to sneeze --

There's cobwebs in there!"

Loading...