How To Look Way Younger Without Surgery! My Secrets
I look really old, but not as old as I really am, so I'm often asked "How do you do it?" by people anxious to shed years from their own visages.
Once again, let me relay the process:
(1) Don't drink.
When people guzzle on a regular basis, you can not only see it in the lines and puffs that distort their faces, you can tell exactly what they've been imbibing all these years. ("He's a tequila queen." "She's downed a thousand too many Cosmos"...)
(2) Start the day by splashing warm water on your face and neck, then rubbing in St. Ives apricot scrub. You'll feel an immediate tingle as your pores start popping into the waking state, ready for another day of looking younger than they really are.
(3) Fifteen minutes later, shower it off while applying either Kiehl's Facial Fuel, Purity one-step facial cleanser, or Basis soap. I've found these to be the least abrasive ways to make your puss cleaner and more kissable. By now, you should look like a teenager--unless you are a teenager, in which case you'll look ready for your first rattle.
(4) When you emerge from the shower, dry yourself thoroughly and massage into your face and neck some 24,000-IU-or-more Vitamin E oil. Don't overdo it. Rub in just enough so it's effective but you don't look like a big oil ball. Less is more is young!
(5) Avoid excess sun, but if you do find yourself sweating like a pig, keep toweling it off and applying a teens bit more Vitamin E. Keep your face fresh and tingly.
(6) Have good genes.
If none of that works for you....try surgery!