How To Look Way Younger Without Surgery! My Secrets

Categories: Advice

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I look really old, but not as old as I really am, so I'm often asked "How do you do it?" by people anxious to shed years from their own visages.

Once again, let me relay the process:


(1) Don't drink.

When people guzzle on a regular basis, you can not only see it in the lines and puffs that distort their faces, you can tell exactly what they've been imbibing all these years. ("He's a tequila queen." "She's downed a thousand too many Cosmos"...)


(2) Start the day by splashing warm water on your face and neck, then rubbing in St. Ives apricot scrub. You'll feel an immediate tingle as your pores start popping into the waking state, ready for another day of looking younger than they really are.


(3) Fifteen minutes later, shower it off while applying either Kiehl's Facial Fuel, Purity one-step facial cleanser, or Basis soap. I've found these to be the least abrasive ways to make your puss cleaner and more kissable. By now, you should look like a teenager--unless you are a teenager, in which case you'll look ready for your first rattle.


(4) When you emerge from the shower, dry yourself thoroughly and massage into your face and neck some 24,000-IU-or-more Vitamin E oil. Don't overdo it. Rub in just enough so it's effective but you don't look like a big oil ball. Less is more is young!


(5) Avoid excess sun, but if you do find yourself sweating like a pig, keep toweling it off and applying a teens bit more Vitamin E. Keep your face fresh and tingly.


(6) Have good genes.


If none of that works for you....try surgery!

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9 comments
gjnr7522
gjnr7522

P.S. The most important thing to look younger is a good constitution but a good diet with it being rich in vegetables and fruits is probably the key -- especially greens.. Good superfoods like cayenne (a good site about it is here, http://www.cayennepepper.info), gotu kola, ginseng, bee pollen and goji berries will help, too. I'm not one who would ever want surgery. I'd rather do it outside in.

gjnr7522
gjnr7522

The graphic of that woman getting her face stretched is disquieting, man!

candy
candy

Thanks for sharing the tips, always thought you never age and always look the same....so right about the drinking,, its the worst thing for your face.. i been using a good eye cream and moisturixer at night,,,the one thing thats aging me is sleeping my left side of my face into my pillow,, its so hard to lay flat on the bed..

yes genes have alot to do with it. if your parents aged well, i think you will too

bethesda
bethesda topcommenter

Just lightly, under the eyes.

Used2BMelinda9
Used2BMelinda9

Are you able to use the vitamin E near your eyes? I did that once and my eyes swelled shut.

PhilNY
PhilNY

I recommend frequent facials.

farmboyz
farmboyz like.author.displayName 1 Like

And, get the St. Ives Apricot scrub in the "original" consistency, not the more refined version. I would not recommend using this more than once a week. It leaves your skin vulnerable to the onslaught of all sorts of evil things in the air. (Because I live in a cloistered convent, I don't have to worry about that.) Before being photographed, Kiehl's eye depuffer and their arctic rose concoction do great work that will last a couple of hours.

bethesda
bethesda topcommenter

I'll just try surgery.

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

I use African Tanning Secret...been in my family for generations!

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