Ten Famous Songs About Masturbation
Some of them are blatantly about pleasuring oneself, others simply hint at it or use code words. But however they attack the subject, they're all odes to onanism, and by time you get to the end of this rundown--as compiled in this book of sex, drugs, and rock lists--you will surely be spent.
1. "Icicle," Tori Amos
"Getting off, getting off while they're all downstairs."
2. "Rock My World," Betty Blowtorch (pictured above)
"Sorry there, baby/I had to masturbate"
3. "St. Swithin's Day," Billy Bragg
Refers to the perils of making love to someone's memory instead of the real thing.
4. "Girls of Porn," Mr. Bungle
"My hand gets tired..."
5. "Orgasm Addict," Buzzcocks
Rhymes "dirty magazines" with "stains on your jeans"
6. "Praying Hands," Devo
"The stranger" knows.
7. "I Touch Myself," the Divinyls
I remember the lead singer telling me the song was really about spirituality. Uh-huh.
8. "Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol
And not just dancing. Billy was obviously enjoying a white wedding with his own appendage.
9. "She Bop," Cyndi Lauper
You'd have to be blind to not figure the lyrics. And you know why people go blind, don't you?
10. "Darling Nikki," Prince
Yes, Prince is a big jerkoff.
I'll serve more of these later.