Ten Famous Songs About Masturbation

Categories: Music

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Some of them are blatantly about pleasuring oneself, others simply hint at it or use code words. But however they attack the subject, they're all odes to onanism, and by time you get to the end of this rundown--as compiled in this book of sex, drugs, and rock lists--you will surely be spent.


1. "Icicle," Tori Amos

"Getting off, getting off while they're all downstairs."


2. "Rock My World," Betty Blowtorch (pictured above)

"Sorry there, baby/I had to masturbate"


3. "St. Swithin's Day," Billy Bragg

Refers to the perils of making love to someone's memory instead of the real thing.


4. "Girls of Porn," Mr. Bungle

"My hand gets tired..."


5. "Orgasm Addict," Buzzcocks

Rhymes "dirty magazines" with "stains on your jeans"


6. "Praying Hands," Devo

"The stranger" knows.


7. "I Touch Myself," the Divinyls

I remember the lead singer telling me the song was really about spirituality. Uh-huh.


8. "Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol

And not just dancing. Billy was obviously enjoying a white wedding with his own appendage.


9. "She Bop," Cyndi Lauper

You'd have to be blind to not figure the lyrics. And you know why people go blind, don't you?


10. "Darling Nikki," Prince

Yes, Prince is a big jerkoff.


I'll serve more of these later.


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7 comments
monsieurpatric
monsieurpatric

Percy Faith's number one with a bullet " Theme From A Summer Place left few alternatives.

bethesda
bethesda

I remember that concert. I thought it was so weird. I was like "Did they get busted for singing about masturbation?"

williamHK
williamHK

Had tickets for Divynls in the 90s at Studio 54 (it was called The Ritz).  My friend came over, we smoked something, got to the venue maybe 40 mins. late (we assumed there was an opening act) and people were filing out saying "it's over!"  They must've done about 5 songs and called it a night, or something else happened. 

ladybug9
ladybug9

The Divinyls must have been told "Don't tell the press what the song is really about. Maybe you can convince them it's not about wanking."

bethesda
bethesda

If Billy Idol ever wants any help with that....

williamHK
williamHK

@bethesda Did you go?  I never saw any press on it and never learned what happened.  We were in shock I guess and didn't ask anyone coming out why it was so short.

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