The Oscars Should Be More Like The Golden Globes

Categories: Advice

Oscars-2013.jpg
The recent Golden Globes telecast was so rivetingly entertaining that the Oscars need to do exactly what they did in order to approach watchability on February 24.

IMHO, they should:


*Tell Seth MacFarlane that he will now have two cohosts--Tina and Amy. They were brilliantly wry and need to be added to the Oscar lineup immediately, regardless of others' contractual needs or hurt feelings.

*Eliminate all tributes, montages, and special segments. Hollywood stroking itself for all of its obvious blockbusters through the years is so ghastly-boring I can barely look up from my Crunch 'n Munch. Just add lots of funny presenters like Will Ferrell and let them riff. Create some new magic, and keep it witty, folks.

*Get rid of the Best Song category, which would mean no more performances of five tunes you'll never hear again. Yes, Adele should be pretty good this time, but otherwise, this category is a ball and chain that generally brings things way lower than they need to be. They had the right idea last year, when they could only think of two nominees, so they didn't even bother to perform them. Anyone find yourself singing "Man or Muppet?" in the shower lately?

*Add awards for TV shows, like the Globes do. That equals more celebrities in the room and therefore lots more excitement. Maybe add awards for music too--and for theater, commercials, fashion, food, and animals, what the hell.

*Serve lots and lots of booze. That equals livelier celebs in the room!

*Get a celebrity to come out of the closet, but in a defiant, pissy way, while claiming they were always out. Have her sitting with a neo-Nazi and introduced by a recovering addict.


Make all those changes pronto and I assure you the Oscars will win an Emmy next year!

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6 comments
billyjoe
billyjoe

One of the show's biggest time and energy sucks are the technical award categories that bring several noncelebrities to the podium. The co-winner who gets to the microphone first gets to babble and extend personal thank you's, thereby robbing his or her co-winners of any "I'd like to thank" face time with the audience--who could care less anyway. 

My yearly advice: Skip the ridiculously overwrought live Oscar telecast and instead watch "Entertainment Tonight" the next evening. ET captures the high points of the show along with a few after parties and other vignettes in a conveniently consumed 22 minutes (minus commercials).


williamHK
williamHK

They should get rid of the special effects, editing, and sound editing, technical awards on camera.  Do it during the day. 

ladybug9
ladybug9

I think he was probably being satirical when he suggested they add awards for seven other things.

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

" Add awards for TV shows, like the Globes do."

Naah Ahh...diluting the brand...BUT edgy folks who will "pop" the Hollywood bubble....yes! Watching Hollywood "squirm" is fun...and I loved the Debbie Allen "train wrecks!"

williamHK
williamHK

Add t.v. shows?  That's ridiculous! The song category is fun and sometimes hoopy, I don't think they should eliminate it, although I hate Ms. Piggy Adele. Hate the gross Will Farrell as well.

bethesda
bethesda topcommenter

Agreed on all points. These people need to listen to your wisdoms!

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