Things I Actually Like About The Church

Here are some positive things about the whole experience that are lurking on their knees amidst the misty cobwebs of my memory bank:

*The formality and the elaborate rituals did have a certain mystical allure that was almost sexy despite itself.

*The gowns and long pendants on the men was my first exposure to drag, and I loved it, girl! They gave me plenty of fashion ideas at quite a young age.

*The minor keys of the incantations prepared me for the dark tonalities of jazz. Davis and Coltrane sounded easy to me after some of those subservient moanings.

*Organ music is always fierce! I like organs, any organs.

*I loved the texture of the communion wafers as they dissolved on my tongue. They always reminded me of those flying saucer candies (a/k/a satellite wafers), but I never told anyone that, for fear I'd go to hell on a Carnival Triumph cruise. Until now.

*Ever use holy water as a spritzer? You glow all day and night, babe.

*When you finally decide to leave the whole system, you don't have to send them a notarized leter or alter them in any way whatsoever. You just stop believing and stop going!

And that's just what I did, hahahahaha!