Why I Hate Social Networking

They're so annoying!

My column includes bristling items like:

"I communicate every day with dozens of people I've never met. Meanwhile, real friends never call.....Facebook messaging opens you up to a world of numbing conversational ice breakers like 'Hey' and 'How r u?' I'm deeply lonely, but not so much that I'd answer those come-ons.

"My followers 'favorite' my tweets all the time. WTF good is that gonna do me? Either retweet it or just mind your own freakin' business....If I tweet 'I just made potato leek soup,' it gets as many retweets as one of my breaking stories that could change history. Maybe I should just stick to recipes."

And so on until I reach the harrowing conclusion: The reason I really hate social networking is that I couldn't live without it these days!

Feel free to 'like' that, but I'd prefer that you read the column and really like it.