Why I Will Never Go On A Cruise Ship!

Categories: Advice

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Even when things go right, it's a floating nightmare.

Screechy, annoying people. Second-rate entertainment. Too much food and nothing do but eat it, so you end up gaining 40 pounds. A profound feeling of seasickness that makes any fun you might have had evaporate into nausea and depression.

But the ironically Carnival Triumph has made a functioning cruise seem like a trip to Bountiful by comparison.

Take all the above features.

[Screechy, annoying people. Second-rate entertainment. Too much food and nothing do but eat it, so you end up gaining 40 pounds. A profound feeling of seasickness that makes any fun you might have had evaporate into nausea and depression.]

But put them all in a dark, drifting, smelly cesspool full of toilet water (No, not eau de toilette--I'm talking crap juice), and no activities whatsoever except to sit, eat, relieve yourself into a red bag, hand the red bags to staffers, and keep on waiting.

And when the thing finally docks, you're in Mobile, Alabama!

Keep me on ground, please. Northern ground.


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5 comments
jocosity
jocosity

I was there and I'm VERY proud of the many Mobile organizations, local businesses and volunteers who pitched in to make sure these 4,000+ people made it to our port and that their families were greeted and treated warmly. There were a lot of people working around the clock to get that ship in safely and they should all be commended. The City of Mobile came together to help these 4,000 folks find their ways (eventually) home and we should, as Mobilians, be proud. All of it was worth seeing the relief on the families' and passengers' faces when that ship pulled in.

Michael

www.maidsalamode.com

candy
candy

went with parents long time ago, its for suburban families with kids. the worst part is having cafeteria style dinner with strangers.

jackson30
jackson30

PS: Carnival was better when they had Kathie Lee aboard. No embarrassing scandals. I'm kidding.

jackson30
jackson30

I know, what a horror!! Some vacation.

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

@jackson30 Not really [I'm not picking on you jackson, but you gave me the lead in..]  Carnival was shitty in those days...I was a cruise ship "veteran" in those days...it was an "easy" family trip, everyone could do their own thing and just meet for meals or whatever (you do yr thing, I do mine, nobody's "lost")...and it was declasse then in the eyes of my folks...you had to endure the "Kathie Lee" jingle throughout.

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