Why I Will Never Go On A Cruise Ship!

Categories: Advice

1360781125000-0-4ED2-PL-Triumph.jpg
Even when things go right, it's a floating nightmare.

Screechy, annoying people. Second-rate entertainment. Too much food and nothing do but eat it, so you end up gaining 40 pounds. A profound feeling of seasickness that makes any fun you might have had evaporate into nausea and depression.

But the ironically Carnival Triumph has made a functioning cruise seem like a trip to Bountiful by comparison.

Take all the above features.

[Screechy, annoying people. Second-rate entertainment. Too much food and nothing do but eat it, so you end up gaining 40 pounds. A profound feeling of seasickness that makes any fun you might have had evaporate into nausea and depression.]

But put them all in a dark, drifting, smelly cesspool full of toilet water (No, not eau de toilette--I'm talking crap juice), and no activities whatsoever except to sit, eat, relieve yourself into a red bag, hand the red bags to staffers, and keep on waiting.

And when the thing finally docks, you're in Mobile, Alabama!

Keep me on ground, please. Northern ground.


Sponsor Content

Loading...