"Stroke Your Bible! Now Kiss Your Bible!"

Categories: Religion

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Bible studies have never been this erotic!

Watch as evangelist Mike Murdock advises his crowd to get intimate with the good book.

"Hold your bible close to your heart," he starts, innocently enough--but that's just foreplay, I guess.

"Stroke your bible," he then urges, looking very into it.

"Now kiss your bible," he adds, a divine mission dripping from his tongue.

With all the stroking and kissing, Murdock suddenly seems to me like one of those guys in big hats that used to hang around Times Square. Nah! He's a man of God. A man with an obsession.

"Kiss it again," he unashamedly advises, helping the bible get more action than it's gotten in years.

"Now rub it across your face," he implores, encouraging some light frottage for the holy spirit.

Wait a minute! This is getting sick! And yet, the people not only do it, they look excited about it.

"I sleep with this work," adds the guy, interestingly revealing his choice of bedmate.

"Stroke it again!" he demands, hoping for an orgy.

OK, but...um...my bible is the same sex as me. Is it still OK to fondle it, sir?


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9 comments
jb4362
jb4362

And the pages are stuck together somewhere between Matthew, Mark, and Luke....

JPMcMahon
JPMcMahon

If you were to get intimate with a Bible that wasn't a King James version, like a Catholic Bible, or a Thomas Jefferson Bible,  or a Jehovah Witness Bible, or a Greek Orthodox Bible, would that be like miscegenation, or bestiality, or pederasty, or what? It is so hard to be a Christian these days.

GUEST
GUEST

"Christian Ministry and Politics is just show business for ugly people”  

- apologies to Jay Leno for his original quote and I'm sure Joel Osteen would beg to differ

nammer
nammer

good lord, break out the flavor aid

bwaybill
bwaybill

Another leather queen, lol.

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

He's into leather...binding...and light gilding the lilly...King James version.

SavannahMontgomery
SavannahMontgomery

Actually the "scariest" part of this vid is the congregation is black (and good looking).

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