The World's Strongest Vagina

Categories: Biology

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I'm going to pause right here for you to insert all kinds of unseemly jokes because I know you're just dying to. Got it? Let 'em out? Done? Good, then let me tell you with a straight face (well, with major gayface, actually) about the Russian gymnast who has earned got the incredible above-described honor.

The woman can lift a 30-pound kettleball with her privates. What's more, she can so 13-pound dumbbells using only her vaginal muscles. She can lift more with her hoo-ha than I can with my arms. Way more!

Those muscles--which became weak after she had a child--ended up developing record-breaking strength when she worked them out with various glass balls and other objects. She shoved a veritable furniture showroom worth of stuff up there and now she's the Schwarzenegger of the vagina scene (if that isn't redundant).

Very impressive--but please don't try this without supervision (or at all). I'd advise you to just keep on inserting jokes rather than objects.



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6 comments
jonnyonenote
jonnyonenote

This is vastly disappointing news to Lena Durham.

eric.nelson745
eric.nelson745 topcommenter

Sounds like women who do "Peso shows" in the Philippines. They'd put glass beads up there and she'd pop out whatever colors the audience wanted. Actually, I can imagine guys lining up so she can put them in that scissor grip of hers.

michaelgarinnyc
michaelgarinnyc

And she does this routine to Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up."

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