The TV Moment That Made Me Gay

Categories: Gaaaaayyyyyy

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In the 1960s, I was addicted to watching tall, lithe Ron Ely as Tarzan, wearing a pulse-quickening loincloith as he swung around the place on various vines.

The line of hair under Ron's navel was possibly the most important stretch of geography of my entire pubescence.

In fact, as I've written, I remember thinking, "You Tarzan. Me gay."

My other pop cultural obsession at the time was the glittery girl group the Supremes, whose costumed and choreographed bouts of bouncy musical heartbreak sang to my very soul, especially since they were so fabulous!

Well, in 1968, a very special episode of Tarzan featured three very special guest stars--the Supremes!

The shimmery trio that I worshiped for their sparkly outfits and swinging sounds.

On Tarzan, they happened to play some button-down nuns (singing a distinctly non-Motown-sounding ditty called "The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves"), but it was still the Supremes! With my loinclothed he-man!

At that moment, I became the gayest person on the entire planet.

Thank you, Ron, Diana, Mary, and Cindy. My world is empty without you, babes....


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9 comments
www.cjmoreland
www.cjmoreland

Hello Michael. I Guess you Did give your life to JESUS? I'm the one who you saw years ago down by the water front by Christopher St. calling to you and others about being Born Again. This is so you don't define yourself by your sexuality. Hell is Real, and GOD is quite serious about people repenting! He, JESUS, loves and HE wants you to spend eternity with HIM. Not in Hell. In fact, there's a book by Mary K. Baxter entitled, a Divine Revelation of Hell. Apparently, gays and lesbians are chained up in Hell. In utter torment. Once in Hell you can never ever come out! Eventually you end up in The Lake of Fire for all eternity. This serious stuff, don't play around with your life. It's precious. I love you, and GOD bless you!

alexvernon
alexvernon

Thank you, Michael. If you'll all forgive me, I'd like to offer my book on Tarzan--"On Tarzan" (UGA Press, 2008). It's something of an academic book, but I hope it is accessible for a wider audience. Anyway, a fair portion of the book explores issues of gender and sexuality, and suffice it to say I wish I'd had Michael's thoughts to quote!

alex

lameatman
lameatman

Robert Conrad's bubble-butt on " Wild, Wild West" was right up there with Ron's treasure trail, and that sexy George Maharis, on "Route 66". Little known fact - Maharis was picked up several times in the 60's/70's for 'lewd conduct' - found having sex, with other men, in gas station bathrooms  (pitiful times , for gay people then). Last time was an arrest on Nov. 21, 1974, when he was booked, in  LA, for a 'sex perversion' charge (laughable), along with a 33 year old hairdresser, Perfecto Telles (great name). George is now 85, and lives in NYC.

monsieurpatric
monsieurpatric

Gee, for me it was shirtless George Maharis on Route 66.

williamHK
williamHK

loved it as well, in fact Friday night rocked for baby boomers, "The Avengers", "The Wild, Wild West", "The Pruitts of Southhampton", "T.H.E. Cat". 

fablalumia
fablalumia

YES!!!!...we luv you, Michael...

williamHK
williamHK

@lameatman he does? thought he would live in L.A. - but I think he's from here.

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