That Horrible "Crazy Busy" Syndrome

Categories: Advice

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In a mass email, promoter Daniel Nardicio points out what a cliché it is that people run around saying how "crazy busy" they are all the time. It's not enough to say one's simply busy these days--you have to add "crazy" to it for effect, so you can impress everyone with how incredibly popular and/or successful you must be.

Most of these people are probably only busy because they don't know how to prioritize their time, so they get caught up in inane activities without really producing much despite the "crazy business." Some of them are probably just plain lying, using "crazy busy" as a shield against any glimmers into the reality of their lugubrious lives. I've even fallen into that verbal trap myself, telling people I'm "crazy busy" mainly because I don't know what else to say when they ask "How are you?" and also because I want to impress them with how vital and amazing my life is. (Though I really am crazy busy. Sort of.)

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One Of The Most Delayed Air Routes In The Country

Categories: Advice

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If you've ever worked on a movie, it's usually a matter of hurry-up-and-wait, but that's a joy compared to flying, which has become a case of wait-and-wait-and-wait-and-wait-some-more-then-hurry.

But some air routes are more delayed than others. A recent report says that Chicago has two of the most delay-prone airports in the country. The Windy city has become the "When do we leave?" city. And as for our own area, JFK and LaGuardia have gotten a bit better in the last few years, but Newark is generally later than a pregnant woman. In fact, about 24% of the flights there are held back (though fortunately the pilots totally graduated).

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Guess What A Stripper Makes In One Night?

Categories: Advice

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Well, one very long night anyway. (Over 15 hours in this case, so it's basically day and night). Including 30 table dances. And five onstage appearances. And she has to be fit, sexy, nimble, and have a healthy sense of rhythm and some powerful appeal.

$3445!

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Voice-To-Texting While Driving Is Just As Bad As Texting

Categories: Advice

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So says a new study, which explores the difference between people who text and drive and others who voice-text and drive.

Turns out both groups are nuts!

Just because you're dictating your text doesn't make you any less distracted from the driving tasks you're supposed to be concentrating on.

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"There's Nothing Wrong With Drinking If You Know Why You're Drinking"

Categories: Advice

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"I know why I drink. I drink to get bagged.

"I am no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. I don't have to go to meetings. Ha! Ha!

"Drinking removes warts and other skin blemishes. Not from you, but from the people you are drinking with.

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24 Songs To Get High To For National Weed Day

Categories: Advice

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Not that I'm endorsing this or anything.

But with National Weed Day coming tomorrow, it's a good time to toke--I mean take--notice of which songs would be the best to inhale to. If that were allowed.

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What To Do About The Rude Person At The Theater?

Categories: Advice

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I've written about this before, but like psoriasis, the nagging problem just won't go away.

Whether you're watching a $13 flick or a $130 musical, there are generally various nuisances seated around you, all trying to make the experience even more potentially draining.

For example:

The plastic unwrapper trying to drown out the climactic scene.

The compulsive texter who can't stop looking at her cell phone, aiming glare at your eyes so you can't see what's onstage.

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Hollywood Starlet Reveals How To Get Pregnant

Categories: Advice

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She says, first of all, that you have to make sure you're fertile at that very moment, of course. Once you know you're an Easy Bake Oven waiting for a rising soufflé, you then get to work on your man.

If you haven't been overly sexual with him in a while, you simply get him a little tipsy and do a wham-bang quickie that's efficient if not particularly memorable. And then you put your legs up on the bedboard and stay in that position all night, so the stuff stays inside you and works its magic. Just stay there, legs akimbo, full of the joyous knowledge that life is fermenting somewhere very dank and dark.

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Getting The Meningitis Vaccine Wasn't Easy

Categories: Advice

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With the warnings out about how every active gay man in NYC should get the meningitis vaccine, I assumed it would be a breeze to make this happen for myself.

But my doctor didn't even have the vaccine for people my age. He had to call it into a pharmaceutical chain and wait for them to get it, since they didn't have it in stock either. But when I called them, they said it wouldn't be covered.

I called my insurance, who recommended another pharmaceutical chain, where it would be covered. But that chain then told my doctor that this vaccine has to be injected on the premises in a pharmacy--because it can't be unrefrigerated--and I'd have to go to a place with a doctor on the premises. And they don't have a doctor there!

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Severe Warning At Bette Midler Show, I'll Eat You Last

Categories: Advice

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How horrible! Profanity!

Anyway, thanks to Christian Freedom for the shot.

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