If eccentric socialite Doris Duke had come back from the dead, she wouldn't have gotten a bigger reaction at the party for HBO's teleflick about her (Bernard and Doris), than another shocking guest who floated in—right-wing hatemonger Rush Limbaugh! "Only in New York, kids," murmured writer Gay Talese, a reference to the fact that Rush seemed to be standing with my friend and dictator, glamorous Post gossip Cindy Adams. As I reached for my Oxycontin, The View's Joy Behar told me, "I said to Cindy, 'He's the perfect date for you. He's deaf!' She said 'Bitch' and walked off." All in fun, mind you. In any case, the deaf thing turned out to be a godsend. I stood in the corner all night screaming "You fat pig!" in Rush's direction, and though he couldn't hear me, it made me feel SO good.

PS: More conflict: Everyone loved the movie except for Duke's old chef, who happens to be a friend of mine and who delightfully gave me a raging earful for the column. Check in with me then, kids.