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» La Daily Musto «

by Michael Musto | email: musto@villagevoice.com

Another Outrageous Governor Scandal! What Next?

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:53 PM, March 25, 2008

Fresh off Governor David Paterson's admission that he cheated on his wife comes the raucous revelation that he used pot and coke in the 70s! And he probably even inhaled! This is simply stunning, unfathomable news and well worth all the screaming headlines!

Here are some other confessional shockers we'll no doubt soon be fielding from Paterson:

When a cashier once gave him back 10 cents more change than she was supposed to, he simply pocketed it without saying a word.

He has occasionally sampled sodas that were not caffeine-free.

He has sometimes used his blindness to get handicapped parking privileges.

Once, when his wife was sleeping, he snuck out to buy her a surprise anniversary gift.

And most upsettingly...

When people have asked him "How are you?" he has sometimes lied and said "Great! Couldn't be better!"

Before all of these scandals unfold in the public eye, let's nip this shit in the bud right now, folks. Impeach the heathen! He's bad people!

comments

I have eyewitnesses that have seen him take the escalator when he could have walked up the stairs!

Posted by: Tim at March 25, 2008 3:01 PM

These revelations really are getting shocking in their un-shocking-ness.

Posted by: fruit fly mcgee at March 25, 2008 5:22 PM

Don't people have anything else better to do than pick over the same boring faults in public figures/celebs that they also bear themselves?

I'm sure we're being played with. Meaning, public figures need to give up on true confessions and attempts at whipping the excitist press into a froth unless their escapades are of a far more scandalous calibre like sleeping wih mom, 12-year-olds or the family Airedale. They need to leave of aspirations toward noteriety especially when they know all they're doing is what every other whorehound in town is doing.

No disrespect to the deceased parties and even though this is looking way back in time -- if OJ should have been hung for anything it certainly should have been for that boring televised car chase.

Sin if you must I say -- but at least let the reason, and the act, be interesting.

Posted by: Venson Thomas at March 25, 2008 11:15 PM

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