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La Dolce Musto: the column

Britney's Umbrella Victim Speaks Out for the First Time

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, March 10, 2008

I can always turn to the Atlantic magazine for deeply serious explorations of contempo political topics—like the April issue's interview with Dano, the photographer whose truck was beaten by Britney Spears with her umbrella, ella ella, eh, eh eh. In the article, called "Shooting Britney," Dano describes for the first time the mortal fear he faced as the hairless pop tart went after his vehicle with her Totes.

As the piece puts it, "The X17 guys had followed Britney to Kevin's house, but he wouldn't buzz her in. 'She wanted to see her kids,' Dano says. 'We came out and took pictures.' Then Spears and her friend Alli drove around to the corner of a Jiffy Lube, where Alli opened her door and asked the photographers to please leave them alone. Britney stuck her head out of the car, too. 'She took her hat off and she was bald,' Dano says of the moment that made him the most celebrated photographer in America that week. "She was breathing like a bull. It was like smoke was coming out of her nostrils. Then she leaps out of the door, screaming 'Motherfuckers!' "

Scary, right? Even more terrifying than Mary Poppins on a low sugar day? Well, no, actually. The article goes on to say, "When the umbrella attack video went viral, Dano put his Ford Explorer on eBay. Bidding went over $30,000 before he took the car off the market. Stills and videos of the incident sold for nearly $400,000." They did? Oooh! Come get me, you bald bitch!

comments

I saw that article. The weird thing is that the whole article's about Dano and yet they don't have a single photo of him. They have photos of the real stars. Shows how low paparazzi are in the pecking order.

Posted by: patricia kneel at March 10, 2008 12:11 PM

He deserves all the kudos in the world. That photo is brill.

Posted by: yul at March 10, 2008 12:22 PM

Brit is insane

Posted by: at March 10, 2008 1:18 PM

Yeah, but she actually looks hot with the shaved head. Should have kept it.

Posted by: ziggy at March 10, 2008 1:59 PM

Miss Spears' umbrella is worth 10-20 thousand dollars at auction for charity purposes. Seriously - Really - Sincerely. Mitzi and Norma have sold Bob Mackie gowns and Edith Head clothing for about the same. HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME - and give me the damn umbrella when your done!!!!

Posted by: Gwen Verdon, Mitzi Gaynor, and Norma Desmond at March 10, 2008 2:16 PM

Um, I thought the person in the photo was Bat Boy. From the late, lamented World Weekly News.

Posted by: Topper Tattinger at March 10, 2008 2:38 PM

Britney killed celebrity, really. I give Paris some credit, because she made a nice attempt with the guru thing, but it's over. Tom and Katy, Bran and Jen and Angelina, who cares?
I really don't care what's in Lindsay's water bottle, or who has a baby bump.
Now, supposedly Britney's dad has given her a $1,500 a week allowance, so we might start seeing some more of those midnight trips to Rite-Aid soon, but unless she can ditch the bodyguards, it still won't be the same.
I don't even like her music, but she's the only celebrity I care to see a paparazzi shot of ever again. It's over. She killed it.

Posted by: david at March 10, 2008 11:30 PM

OMGSH.. this is so all UN- TRUE. Britney Spears is amazing and you all know it! I mean commong she even has a bald barbie doll :]♥

Posted by: Britney's # 1 fan! at March 11, 2008 8:53 AM

ur ugly

Posted by: jessica at March 11, 2008 2:27 PM

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