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» La Daily Musto «

by Michael Musto | email: musto@villagevoice.com

Joan Crawford Was a Drunken Slag! No, Really!

Posted by Michael Musto at 8:00 AM, April 9, 2008

A recent book contended that movie star Joan Crawford actually wasn't such a bad person after all. I burned it in the backyard along with my copy of Trog. But now comes a Gay City News interview with Rita Moreno, who reminds us of what an utterly insincere, attention-grabbing c-word Joan always strove to be. In remembering the 1962 night she won the Oscar for West Side Story, Moreno told interviewer David Noh:

"Joan was cohosting that night and she had her Pepsi Cola cooler in her dressing room filled with vodka, and the lady was bombed. I went into the wings and only then did I burst into tears. And she grabbed me, and there was one lone photographer in the wings...and she put her arms around me and pressed my face to her chest while he was taking pictures. She was built like a linebacker and I couldn't get out of her grasp. She kept saying, 'There, there, dear, don't feel bad!' And I kept saying, 'I don't feel bad! I don't feel bad!' And the photographer kept saying, 'Oh, Miss Crawford, we need to see Rita's face!' 'But the poor dear is upset,' she said, and in my muffled voice I kept saying, 'I'm not upset!' "

Amazingly, Lady C didn't snatch the Oscar out of Moreno's hands to add it to her collection and bash little Christina with it on the side. In fact, she generously sent a note a week later, thanking Moreno for visiting her in her dressing room when in fact Moreno had just been innocently standing in the wings. By the way, I could have sworn this exact same thing happened last year with Faye Dunaway and Jennifer Hudson!

more: celebs

comments

Hi Michael, these are good stories. Joan's own book, "My Way Of Life", is incredible (literally)and highly recommended, full of carefully crafted lifestyle advice. Not sure who the target audience is, since you'd practically have to be Joan to pull it off, but it offers fascinating insight into what she'd at least liked to have had her fans think her life was like.

Posted by: David at April 9, 2008 9:48 AM

Rita would have REALLY cried if Joan had done what she usually did: drag some poor youngster to her dressing room and force the actress to lick her vodka-scented poontang. She wasn't just bi, she was a bitch! Joan did, however, have the honor of fucking John "Big Dick" Ireland during the filming of "Queen Bee."
Now where's the nude photo of HIM, I'd like to know! I'm sure Musto ripped it out of some library book...

Posted by: The Late Tallulah Bankhead at April 9, 2008 9:52 AM

thanks, david. I actually did an interpretive reading from "My Way of Life" at an event called Cause Celeb. It was a chapter about hostessing. It was so surreal I had to stop from rollng my eyes on every single word.

Posted by: musto at April 9, 2008 10:23 AM

According to "Friday the 13th" star Betsy Palmer, some studio exec called her one morning and advised her not to go to the set, they weren't shooting that day because Joan & John were up "boozing & balling" all night!

David Noh's still around, who's he working for? Still has that apt. on Christopher Street?

Posted by: e.j. tweaker at April 9, 2008 10:29 AM

From "My Way of Life" (1971):

"...I must brag, finally, that I'm famous among a small group of regulars, for my cole slaw...."

The recipe follows and, my dears, it certainly is delicious and nutritious. But not half as good as Joan's famous bean salad, which she liked to serve with fried chicken and baked ham. Your way of life will change -- for the better! -- with Joan's expert advice.

Posted by: Mamacita at April 9, 2008 10:31 AM

David Noh writes for Gay City News.

PS: Rita beat Judy Garland for the Oscar that year. No wonder she was surprised.

Posted by: musto at April 9, 2008 11:27 AM

"I actually did an interpretive reading from "My Way of Life" at an event called Cause Celeb."

This I would have LOVED to see!

I owned that book and have lost it somewhere along the line. According to eBay, it is now worth a fortune. Smart move hiring Billy Haines as a designer. First thing he did was dump Joan's collections of painting of little girls that "incorporated real human hair."

Ugh.

This book is crammed full of mostly unhelpful advice, unless you are a thoroughly stressed-out anal compulsive housecleaner/actress with a dead career and a drinking problem.

Posted by: Jonster at April 9, 2008 11:57 AM

"This book is crammed full of mostly unhelpful advice, unless you are a thoroughly stressed-out anal compulsive housecleaner/actress with a dead career and a drinking problem."

Yeah, so?

Posted by: Tim at April 9, 2008 12:56 PM

Would also loved to have seen that performance. So you've portrayed Joan, and (Lindsay as?)Marilyn, and you've been in at least one commercial. I had no idea you were such a thespian. I think I'm going to have to buy a copy of your book, before it's $99 on amazon. Disco Years is $45 new, already. I find four books with you as author or co-author. It might seem like tacky self-promotion if you did an entry about these, so I say, do it!

Posted by: David at April 9, 2008 11:45 PM

It's too bad Joan Crawford's and John Waters' paths never crossed in reality or in a parallel world... Joan as the Egg Lady would been much better for her career than Trog. And couldn't you see Joan playing Francine Fishpaw's mother? Or Edith Massey in Grand Hotel? Or Mink Stole as Mommie Dearest? Or Divine in Rain and Female On The Beach?

Or Joan Crawford screaming insanely at the kids who broke her window and doing the lesbian scenes with her maid as Peggy Gravel in Desperate Living?

"Mo" the dyke with the dick in Desperate Living would have been equally wonderful in the Mercedes McCambridge role opposite Joan or Mink Stole in Johnny Guitar. (or Mercedes AS Mo)

Better yet, all the of John Waters' leading ladies in The Women :)

And my favorite warped fantasy switcheroo: Edith Massey as Baby Jane Hudson opposite Mink Stole as Blanche tied for first place with Edith Massey trainwrecking the lead role in the collosally elegant Humoresque.

As virtual reality progresses, fantasy film ReMaking like this could happen!

Posted by: HeavyBreasted at April 10, 2008 8:32 AM

this new book on joan? have you seen/heard the interview with the author? have you seen the author's photo on the dust jacket?

it's bullshit.

she & "the twin" are trying to rebrand mommie & we all know it will never work.

Posted by: little edie at April 10, 2008 10:39 AM

Does anyone remember a TV movie called "The Disappearance of Aimee"? Well, anyway, Faye Dunaway played 1920s evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson and Bette Davis was her mother. After a press screening, depending on your age and inclinations, reporters were gathered around either Dunaway on one side of the room or Davis on the other. Davis was asked what it was like working with Dunaway and she pointed at Faye and said, "Compared to THAT one, Crawford was an angel!"

Southern Dave

Posted by: David Cuthbert at April 10, 2008 1:19 PM

legendaryjoancrawford.com

Posted by: Joan at April 10, 2008 1:55 PM

Coversations with Joan Crawford is one of the best books on Crawford - don't burn that one!!

Posted by: NotSoHeavyBreasted at April 10, 2008 2:12 PM

David. Re that very TV movie, James Woods once told me (on the record): "Faye Dunaway would need a step ladder to sniff Bette Davis's ass!"

Posted by: musto at April 10, 2008 2:31 PM

legendaryjoancrawford is ok. It's got a nice picture on it. But there's so much more information and newly discovered trivia on www.joancrawfordbest.com !!

Posted by: HeavyBreasted at April 10, 2008 6:03 PM

www.joancrawfordbest.com is probably the best - certainly the most comprehensive - movie star website, and love her or hate her, believe it or not, you'll find out all about Joan Crawford at www.joancrawfordbest.com - and thanks to this article, one more interesting Joan Crawford tale will be archived there!

Posted by: Michael Hathaway at April 10, 2008 7:06 PM

Pauline Kael's capsule review of "Trog" (1970) -- Joan Crawford plays Stella Dallas with an ape instead of a baby girl. Some actors will do anything to be in movies: she probably would have played the ape.

Posted by: sfmike at April 11, 2008 2:28 AM

Joan Crawford is an Icon of Cinema.

Neither I nor Musto knew her personally. And, let's face it, he truly loves her deep down as he has spent years talking about her. The attacks are a way to cover deep envy and admiration for her perfect face and some of the greatest portrayals of women in American Cinema.

I need to ask the people who criticize Crawford endlessly, "...And how many films have you made, my dear? And do folks still run to TCM and the local video stores to buy your 70 year old films?"

I think not.

Posted by: Mark Toscani at April 11, 2008 12:32 PM

Michael Musto,

Joan Crawford was a thrilling actress with a marvelous expressive face. Watch one of her films (the whole thing) and see for yourself. We will all know when that has happened because you will suddenly have respect for her beauty and greatness.

Peter Joseph Swanson.

Posted by: Peter Joseph Swanson at April 11, 2008 12:57 PM

If Michael Musto could achieve all that Joan Crawford achieved with the same grace, beauty and professionalism, I'd like to see it. But it takes no talent to tear others down. I applaud Crawford for perservering in an industry that would have buried her and all other women by age 35. Yes, Joan Crawford was very gracious to others by observing little niceties like "thank you" notes -- if that's phony, it's a pity there aren't more concessions in this vein. She tried to uphold the image that was expected of her; she was doing her job and giving her 200%. But as the saying goes, those who can do and those who can't slaughter those who can because they have no particular talent of their own.

Posted by: D. Nowak at April 11, 2008 2:04 PM

Joan Crawford was a cunt.

Posted by: The Late Tallulah Bankhead at April 11, 2008 3:08 PM

Burt Reynolds had a great story about Bette Davis, who he escorted to events for quite awhile. On the day Joan Crawford died, Burt, Bette, Robert Aldrich(the director of "Whatever happened to Baby Jane" & The Longest Yard")and a film critic from Playboy, I think it was Bruce Williamson, were at an event and Bette announced, "Well, the Cunt died this morning..." - referring to Joan Crawford - and Burt introduced the critic since she obviously knew the other two men and without missing a beat said, "But... she was always on time."

Posted by: Tim at April 11, 2008 4:48 PM

What is amazing to me is that now, after all these years, with Mommie Dearest coming to pass and the revival of Joan taking full swing, there is even MORE new information coming out about her possible accidental involvement with the JFK assasination while in Dallas!

Google "crawford nixon jfk" and you'll get this gem..(I almost spelled it like Jem and the Holograms) ...

"With Nixon in Dallas was Pepsi-Cola heiress and actress Joan Crawford. Both Nixon and Crawford made comments in the Dallas newspapers to the effect that they, unlike the President, didn't need Secret Service protection, and they intimated that the nation was upset with Kennedy's policies. It has been suggested that this taunting may have been responsible for Kennedy's critical decision not to order the Plexiglas top placed on his limousine on November 22."

Posted by: HeavyBreasted at April 11, 2008 6:37 PM

Joan is a legend, and I absolutely LOVE that everyone still talks about her. One can't help but be obsessed with the queen Joan. Bless you all!

Posted by: A quaint Joan fan at April 12, 2008 9:19 PM

Ugh... More Joan Crawford bull sh*t. I like the lady, but I hate the way she tried to preach about lifestyle when she was an overf*cked, drunken has-been... She should have thrown the towel in at the right time like Garbo or Norma Shearer.

Posted by: Mike at April 12, 2008 10:37 PM

Why in the world do people constantly bash this woman? It's very easy to tear apart the reputation of someone who can't fight back, Ms. Moreno. Just ask Christina.
I met her, I liked her and have complete admiration for her work, her movies and her family, minus Christina.

Posted by: Ed at April 13, 2008 12:50 AM

Love her or hate her, ya can't stop talking about her can ya?!

Joan will always have the last laugh.

Posted by: Amused dame at April 13, 2008 1:09 AM

You know what, Joan has been dead for over 30 years and we are still talking about her! You're right "amused" Joan is getting the last laugh.

Posted by: LettyLynton at April 13, 2008 11:22 AM

Things are coming full circle for Ms Crawford. Her renaissance is taking place just as interest in other dead stars is waning. I like Davis and Garbo, but they are so played out. Compared to their movies, Joan's works are very fresh for today's audiences.

Posted by: Edith Massey at April 14, 2008 2:31 AM

Dear Late Tallulah Bankhead,

You used to be much more witty in life. You have lost it and you, like most faded "stars" from the past, can only get publicity knocking down a true legend like Joan Crawford.

And to the one who said Crawford should have given up like Garbo and Shearer. Are you nuts? The best thing she ever did was leave MGM! Some of her best films and performances were done in the second half of her career. I admire her for NOT giving up and to show that a woman can be vibrant after 40. She doesn't have to go into hiding and fade away.

Is that the best you guys can do? Call Joan Crawford the C-word? She is still a powerful woman. I am proud she has a cunt. Or is it a cock? A very big one, I should think.

Posted by: Mark Toscani at April 14, 2008 9:48 AM

As usual Mr. Musto displays an amazing lack of knowledge. Bad enough on the CHARLOTTE DVD mini-documentary he claims JC was not nominated for anything relating to Baby Jane (I suppose one COULD consider a Golden Globe Nom nothing...). This so called tale by Moreno is BS.

Dear Rita:

Since your dud gig at The Plush Room in San Francisco, are things going SO badly for you that you have to resort to lies in order to get some publicity? And as to being drunk, well, the staff at that dump know all too well about YOUR issues with the bottle...

JC was not drunk at the AA awards at all - and there are those alive today who can attest to it.

Posted by: Tom at April 14, 2008 7:14 PM

Joan is still such a huge star that books are still being written about her. Even paperback paperback fiction to this day, starring her !!!

Peter Joseph Swanson

(author of The Joan Crawford Murders)

Posted by: Peter Joseph Swanson at April 15, 2008 9:45 AM

What I would like to read is a biography of Rita Moreno, writen by her. Im particularly interested in her 13 year old on and off relashionship with bisexual Marlon Brando...that will be very interesting.

Posted by: at April 16, 2008 12:38 AM

What I would like to read is a biography of Rita Moreno, writen by her. Im particularly interested in her 13 year old on and off relashionship with bisexual Marlon Brando...that will be very interesting.

Posted by: Marlon at April 16, 2008 12:39 AM

I think it's kind of funny that Joan was in Dallas on 11/22/63. Personally I don't think she had anything to do with the assassination, but it kind of adds to the lustre of her reputation as a powerful, destructive woman to think so.

And while we're at it, what do people think of Christina's accusation that Joan killed Al Steele? Has anyone ever noticed the discrepancies in accounts of his death -- he was found dead at the foot of his bed; Joan found him dead on their staircase? I can't remember where I read these different accounts, but it would be interesting to compile them.

Posted by: barton at April 16, 2008 12:49 PM

Joan did not kill Al. His dying at that time left her flat broke. She had just loaned him ALL her money to pay off his debts. They cancelled each other out. At that time she had no idea she'd be voted onto the Pepsi Board of Directors. Until then Al gave her the Pepsi publicity gigs she had. She was left penniless and jobless. Yeah, a great motivation for murder !!!

And Christina wasn't there, anyway, but she's always lipping off about things like that, that she would know nothing about. How low can that brat go to trash her own mom for her own fame and profit !!!

Ha ha, Joan shot JFK. If Christina says it, it will be believed.

Posted by: Peter Joseph Swanson at April 17, 2008 2:31 PM

Christina didn't say Joan shot JR or JFK. A reporter did...

http://mtracy9.tripod.com/kennedy.html

I didn't FORGET to bring your breakfast. I didn't bring you your breakfast because you didn't finish your din din.

Posted by: Dette Bavis at April 18, 2008 6:34 AM

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