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» La Daily Musto «

by Michael Musto | email: musto@villagevoice.com

Is My Crassness Too Vulgar?

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:30 PM, May 9, 2008


photo by Tommy McCall

I was just looking through some of the blurbs from the villagevoice.com homepage describing my recent columns. (Yes, I actually write a column, folks. This blog is sort of a side venture—like trapping moths.) It occurred to me in a stroke of brilliant observation that so very many of the blurbs don't have much to do with neurosurgery or international politics. In fact, they generally are concerned with celebrity genitals and the filthy things they do with them. I was horrified as I glanced at the turdy blurbs, which literally hit below the belt as they aimed to lasso readers in the crassest, most dehumanizing way imaginable. Among the lowest ones:

"24 Star Won't Shave Her Privates"

"Valerie Bertinelli on Spitzer's Dick"

"Siegfried, Roy, and Glory Holes"

"Harvey Fierstein on the History of Blowjobs"

And of course (ah, the memories):

"Ass-Baring Parties Conquer Nightlife!"

I was all set to complain to the bigshots here about the LCD-ing of my work, until realizing (a) These blurbs perfectly capture the column. (b) They DO ensnare people to click. And (3) I wrote them myself! So bravo to me and my prolific pussy! Give me ideas for some other ones!

comments

Your crassness is what I love about your column, don't try to legitimize your beat. Give it to us, warts and all!

Posted by: Billy at May 9, 2008 3:58 PM

You're a poet of vulgarity. You're the only reason why I read the The Voice. Keep it coming. more. more......

Posted by: Gabe at May 9, 2008 4:35 PM

Big nipples.

Posted by: Gwen Verdon, Mitzi Gaynor, and Norma Desmond at May 9, 2008 5:54 PM

Michael:
You're crass, you're vulgar, you're FABULOUS! VV would be so boring without you. But dahling, who is that dreadful redhead in the photo with you? A young Jocelyn Wildenstein?

Posted by: The Late Tallulah Bankhead at May 9, 2008 5:59 PM

No, I'm afraid that is Jocelyne Wildenstein today!!!

Posted by: vendela at May 9, 2008 6:30 PM

"Screaming F**king Nightmares! They're not just for nightclubs anymore"

Pansies you'll want to watch suck cock!

11 reasons to make you want Divas to turn you gay

Nightlife ruined by Socialista casualties?

Fabulous young closeted stars on meth selling charity ball gowns talking about former child stars on heroin

Lifestyle accoutrements for mightlife superstars without 'benefactors'

Posted by: Tim at May 9, 2008 8:51 PM

You are a great writer, Musto, and I've read Virginia Woolf! You have great timing, rhythm - wait, was I talking about your writing? : ) Please continue to rock.

Posted by: Jordan at May 10, 2008 1:52 PM

Thank you all for supporting my crassness!

Posted by: MUSTO at May 10, 2008 3:33 PM

your crassness is just vulgar enough!

Posted by: bulgari at May 11, 2008 6:52 PM

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