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nightlife

Sad Gay Reality: You Can't Get Picked Up in a Bar Anymore

By Michael Musto, Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 9:00AM
Comments (20)
Categories: naked

It's true, queens! No one in a bar is cruising these days! (And I don't just mean they're not cruising ME.) The reason for this hideous turn of events is quite simple: They already got laid 80 times that day thanks to Internet hookups! And they know that when they get home, they can pile 80 more gonads up their ass! Manhunt has completely destroyed the sexual frisson in once-alluring nightspots!

Just look around: Everyone in bars walks funny because they got shtupped all day and is way too worn out to even think of another matchup at that moment. So gay hotspots have become places where you just stare into space and recuperate or perhaps find someone with whom to talk about Gossip Girl (while holding your hand over your mouth to cover up the jizz smell) before you're ready to head out and get plowed again. And because I don't have a good enough headshot to put on a dirty website, I'm missing out on everything! This is deplorable! Bring back the old days of cheap one-night stands!

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Comments (20)

Billy says:

It's deplorable that one must rely on anonymous sex via the internet rather than the bar scene. So many posers and fakes online, you would think Brent Everett was part of a quintuplet set the number of times his tasty pics were passed off as some troll via email to me. Then once you meet in some seedy location, the climax is anti-to-the-max when you realize Quasimodo has DSL and a desperate imagination. It's much better to cruise in the bars for sex, that way you can get drunk enough to take the edge off.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 9:15AM
ving says:

Yes, cheap one night stands were much more intimate than internet hookups. At least you could see what the person really looks like.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 9:38AM
Bindi the Jungle GURL says:

Jeez Musto...this is the 21st century. Photoshop your image and lie in the nomenclature you make up you post at the website(it will make the hook-up hotter!).
Your 20th century standards for bar cruising no longer apply, the kids are all ADD/cellphone-web-cable/ecstasy freaks.
You did o.k. with your Marilyn parody; go to the gym, (blood) dope and do steriods like all the Olympians and of course crew Viagra like gum and you'll be a contender again ;-)

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 11:57AM
Tim says:

Oh, I dunno. I had to fend off a silly butchfemme fisting queen last week at The View who kept making repeated overtures behind my partner's back while right in front of his own boy friend/fuck buddy and have been heavily cruised there a few more times lately-why do you think I keep going back?-and a few of the horny regulars @ XES like to block the toilet door shut from the inside for lightning quick dick licking tease action when its gets a little 'hot' in there. Not that I would know first hand or anything(especially when it comes to fisting---bleccchhh).

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:06PM
Anonymous says:

This really isn't true if you're hot.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:34PM
Will says:

This is why I love the Eagle. Still find hot men there who wanna go home for some fun.

The Townhouse is also a good place to hook-up only because the men are too old to know how to use a computer.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:39PM
hihi says:

sorry, but this is just not true! i want statistics. i really don't think this is an accurate statement. am i missing out on something? i've never internet cruised!

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:40PM
Steve says:

It's ruining relationships, too. After 8 months of what I thought was a monogamous relationship, I found a (very active) Manhunt profile on my boyfriend's computer. Things are basically over at this point. But if he had just stuck to bar hookups like most people in gay "monogamous" (cough cough) relationships, I probably never would have known. So it's a risky move, boys.

Also, weird that people so openly post face pics right next to their c-ck shots on a public site. I think it's only a matter of time before some mean-spirited website pops up that "outs" people, mocks their profiles in a mainstream venue, etc. It will be sad to watch, but it seems inevitable.

But yeah, hell is basically seeing pics of your boyfriend online, waving his dick at the world.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:51PM
Richard Hare says:

Anonymous gay sex was so much better in the 70s. You could go to Uncle Charlie’s, Stonewall or (if you were really kinky) Club Manhole or (if you were really, really, really kink) the Mineshaft. All that homosexual activity rocked and there was no internet at all. Not sure if Michael Musto got laid at any of those places (or at all for that matter) but for some reason all of the fun stopped… or wait. Now I remember why and am sad.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 12:54PM
Tony says:

Oh, I don't know...last night I got hit on twice in approx. 10 min at the Rawhide. One of them wrote his email/phone number on the back of a card...turns out it was a card for the Addiction Institute of NY. I kid you not.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 1:29PM
Rod says:

Homo, please.

There are plenty of one-night stands to be had out there. I question your choice of venues. The eyebrow-threaded, popped-and-ironed-collar, dihydroxyacetone-dyed cosmo drinkers at [insert name of Hell's Kitchen venue here] are bad lays anyway, Michael dearest.

The problem is more that there is now a variety of gay venues from up-market to down-market. You're making choices to go to chi-chi cha-cha bullshitterias when you could be at the bumpy-bump bam-bam cocketerias.

(The real problem is that everybody now carries a fucking camera in their phone. (Myself included.) Any illicit activity is photographed, broadcast, and catalogged. For this reason, the feeling of intimacy/privacy/safety in public spaces has forever been abandoned in the public gay venues. Thus the retreat to one's own home in order to let the cock free. (Hell, I am hesitant to even to go to a trick's place, fearing a hidden cocksucker's camera catch me and throw me out to x-tube.))

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 1:56PM
gaycurmudgeon says:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WcF-MtIhF8E

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 2:25PM
The Late Tallulah Bankhead says:

I adored those wonderful days of woozy bar hook-ups. Even if you went to his house and he was too drunk to have sex, you could put the boy to bed with a cold compress, smoke all of his cigarettes, peek through his refrigerator, steal a few extra-thick terrycloth towels from his linen closet (and maybe a cashmere sweater or two) and if you were really creative, scrawl "No Sale" in red lipstick on his bathroom mirror. Those were the days, my friend.

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 4:12PM
chump says:

It is so sad and true!

Posted On: Friday, Jun. 13 2008 @ 6:01PM
Joe says:

Ah, the good old days! The "kids" today are too mainstream to admit anonymous sex is fun. After all, men are basically pigs. Now it's about dating, when is the right time to sleep with him.... Anyone remember when you met someone, fucked like bunnies, if he was REALLY good, you actually SLEPT with him. The next day, if you remembered it all, including his name, and actually wanted to see him for more than sex, THAT was dating. Hell, it meant you were practically married!!!!! That's how I met my husband - and were together 10 years!

Posted On: Saturday, Mar. 7 2009 @ 10:56AM
Charles F. says:

Musto is a disgrace to all the other gay and lesbians on this planet. His flamboyant and immature thrashing of Carrie Prejean is unacceptable. Perez Hilton abused his power as a judge in the pageant just because she spoke honestly about her beliefs. Gays and lesbians want to be recognized and respected. Maybe rightfully so. But you cannot expect respect when you trash a straight person for answering a question honestly just because you don't agree with her. Musto, you hipocritical fag, lost more respect from the upstanding gays and lesbians than you did the straight group by trashing Prejean the way you did. Perez asked the question..he got a truthful answer. That in itself is respectable. If your community wants respect for your belief system, you need to respect the straight community for their belief system. Maybe it's your flamboyant "society owes me something" attitude that is such a huge dissapointment to the American People. Good thing You are only able to expose your filthy trash talking to such a limited few people that pay attention to you. You suck....in more ways than just one.

Posted On: Saturday, May. 2 2009 @ 3:07AM
john says:

Goodday Sir/Madam,
i am Mr john the manager of oda loancompany, do you need a loan for the xmas if you email us at

BORROWER FORM

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Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 9:58PM
john says:

hello


i receive the mail you send i do understand so i will like you to feel this form so that we can know okay


Name:..............
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sex:............
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thanks for the mail you sent
ehis john

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 10:01PM
john says:

Good day Sir/Madam,
i am Mr john the manager of oda loan company, do you need a loan for the Xmas if you email us at

BORROWER FORM

Name:.................
Country:...................
State:..................
sex:...............
Date of birth:............
Occupation:.............
Phone number:.............
Purpose of loan:.....................
Amount of loan Needed:...................
Duration of loan:................

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 10:04PM
Mary O. Moore says:

Your are terrific. And so is your site! Awesome substance. Good job guys! Interesting article, adding it to my favourites!

Posted On: Thursday, Feb. 4 2010 @ 9:27AM

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