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La Dolce Musto: the column

A Plea For Some Verbal Floral Displays

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:30 PM, July 4, 2008

I won't be blogging or doing a column this week, kids (unless something major happens like me suddenly finding out who A-Rod is). You see, my beloved dad has passed on and I'm in a daze, not only from the loss but from looking at the open casket every night. Let me tell you about him:

He was a gentle, soft spoken guy who was not bothered by anything (as opposed to mom, who's pretty much worried by everything). Dad grew up in the depression, was beaten by nuns, and spent WWII in a foxhole, so his response to any crisis after that was, "Who cares? We'll get through it." A vibrant mind, dad had to drop out of school to help his father at the bakery, growing up at a time when it was all about survival, not pampering one's inner fantasy life. But he passed his GED much later and devoted much of his life to words and numbers--he loved puzzles, card games, chess, and even doing taxes! To me, he was the smartest man in the world.

And he loved singing, dancing, and--not surprisingly--nightlife. At my gala birthday events, he'd gamely mingle with the downtown kids and even flirt with a trannie or two, blissfully unaware that they had penises.

But dad's biggest message of all, said whenever we'd watch performers on TV: "Michael, all you need is nerve!" That motto got me far--especially since dad backed me in my plan to go to an Ivy league school, kicking in money and his wholehearted support. As a result, I got to live all my dreams and achieve things he was never allowed to do. Thank you, dad. I love you!

PS: I should explain that Dad recently broke his back and was sent into the same hospital I recently bitched about in a five-part series. By the next week, he was dead. But that's a whole other series.

more: Featured

comments

Deeply sorry, Musto. He must have been really something if he created you.

Posted by: starkers at July 6, 2008 9:15 AM

Our fondest thoughts are with you on your loss.

Posted by: zazu at July 6, 2008 9:39 AM

Sorry to read about this, Michael. Losing a parent is so painful, no matter how prepared we are for it thanks to the Elton John smash, "Circle of Life."

Posted by: FindingNamo at July 6, 2008 10:24 AM

poignant.
xoxox
rr

Posted by: rtraftery at July 6, 2008 10:56 AM

Deepest sympathies on the loss of your Father. Your Dad must have been a great guy because he not only raised but also inspired you, and you are far too classy for anything less than sincere condolences.

Posted by: Tim at July 6, 2008 11:01 AM

You sound like you love your father, and that's a wonderful and rare thing. Sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 6, 2008 12:51 PM

My condolences. Take your time and come back when you're ready. Besides, NO ONE really cares about Madonna and A-Rod, do they??!??

Posted by: DavidDust at July 6, 2008 1:52 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

((Hugs))


Posted by: Marcello at July 6, 2008 2:26 PM

My deepest condolences Michael on the loss of your father. From your description, he sounds so much like mine, a solid working-class Italian American who survived the Depression and WWII. Like your father, mine takes everything in stride, including 2 bouts of cancer. When I came out to him, he was a bit shaken for a while but came around very quickly. And I also have a mother who worries about everything, from small stuff (the weather) to the important things (the Christmas dinner menu, the horrors of the Bush regime). Maybe we're related! Take all the time you need to mourn -- we'll all still be here when you get back.

Posted by: GiorgioNYC at July 6, 2008 5:41 PM

Y'all are so sweet. You are the best friends/fans/etc. I could have ever hoped for.

Posted by: musto at July 6, 2008 6:30 PM

My deepest condolences, Michael, my thoughts are with you. xoxoox

Posted by: Mariame at July 6, 2008 7:24 PM

Dear Michael,
I'm so sorry to read of your dad's passing. He sounds like a great guy and you were fortunate to have him as a father.

I'd even go so far as to say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, since you're quite a good guy yourself.

take care,
M

Posted by: Mel O. at July 6, 2008 7:50 PM

Michael, our thoughts are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing this with us. We are are so blessed to have you in our city, and in our scene. Lifting the glass high tonight for Messrs. Musto!

Posted by: mr.joe at July 6, 2008 8:14 PM

Sending you love and affection, my dahling...
Miss T.

Posted by: The Late Tallulah Bankhead at July 6, 2008 9:10 PM

Our thoughts are with you, Michael. Your father sounds like a wonderful person who brought much joy to others. Thank you for sharing a part of him with us.

xoxo

Posted by: serena at July 6, 2008 10:58 PM

I'll add my condolences. Losing a parent is always so painful. You were blessed to have such a powerful role model.

Posted by: CapitalCat at July 7, 2008 12:38 AM

What a great testimonial. He sounds beyond cool.

Posted by: sfmike at July 7, 2008 1:06 AM

Love you.

Posted by: scruffy at July 7, 2008 1:39 AM

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Posted by: Billy at July 7, 2008 7:38 AM

michael - so sorry for your loss - he will always be with you.

Posted by: mikesrom at July 7, 2008 8:43 AM

Michael, I'm so sorry.

Posted by: wisebear at July 7, 2008 9:52 AM

With much sadness I read this/your column_blog. As others have said my condolences to you in your time of feelings and remembrances.
Sounds like the ole man was an excellent fellow and it appears his efforts produced you. My fellow readers and myself step back to give you the space you need and deserve.

Posted by: Bindi the jungle GURL at July 7, 2008 11:53 AM

Michael,
Condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father. Those columns you wrote about the healthcare system were among your best work, even though they were low on your trademark sardonic wit.
Take care,
Ileen

Posted by: ileen at July 7, 2008 1:52 PM

My condolences on your loss. I wonder if your Dad met any of those nuns up there. I hope he gave 'em a good whack or two if he did. I have a cool dad too, fading a little bit now. Like yours, he's an unforgettable father. I know it must be tough going for you and your Mom now. Sending good thoughts your way.

Posted by: Jonster at July 7, 2008 2:04 PM

He sounds like he was a wonderful man. I am sorry for your loss.

Posted by: SailorAlphaCentauri at July 7, 2008 2:06 PM

you were lucky to have a dad like that. hope his memory gives you strength in days ahead.

Posted by: citizen voter at July 7, 2008 3:16 PM

A lovely tribute. My condolences.

Azalea, Begonia, Calla Lily, Daffodil, Echinacea, Forget-Me-Not, Gardenia, Hibiscus, Iris, Jasmine, Lotus, Magnolia, Narcissus, Orchid, Pansy, Queen Anne Lace, Rose, Sunflower, Tulip, Violet, Wisteria, Zinnia.

Posted by: mark at July 7, 2008 3:25 PM

As others have said, you were lucky to have a father like yours in your life. My condolences on his passing.

Posted by: Chris at July 7, 2008 6:16 PM

peace my friend, peace!

Posted by: yours at July 7, 2008 6:41 PM

Michael, I am deeply sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure he was really proud of you and sounds like he was simply a wonderful man (much like his son). You are in my prayers.

Posted by: emanuel xavier at July 7, 2008 6:44 PM

There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies. that's for thoughts.

There's fennel for you, and columbines: there's rue
for you; and here's some for me: we may call it
herb-grace o' Sundays: O you must wear your rue with
a difference. There's a daisy: I would give you
some violets, but they withered all when my father
died: they say he made a good end,--

Posted by: w,s, at July 7, 2008 8:17 PM

I, too, was fortunate to have had a great dad who happened also to be a great supportive friend. I know how hard it is to lose someone so special in your life.

Thanks for sharing such a moving and heartfelt message for all of us--your sorta extended Internet Family. Just know we'll be here when you feel ready to return.

Michael, you make us smile so much with that terrific wit of yours--it feels awkward that the only way we can respond to you in kind is by posting an appreciation of your honesty.

My condolences and a Big Cyber Hug.

Posted by: Kim W. R. at July 8, 2008 4:36 AM

Deepest sympathy to you, Mr Musto.

Posted by: Holland Reader at July 8, 2008 8:08 AM

Condolences, Michael,

R

Posted by: Ron Mwangaguhunga at July 8, 2008 10:06 AM

You certainly gave him a world to be proud of. I am deeply moved at your very loving tribute to him. I am extremely sorry for you & your family's loss. We all, from the bottom of our jaded hearts, just adore you.

Posted by: Girl Ditzi at July 8, 2008 10:32 AM

Forget about the nuns--I hope Papa Musto gave Jesse Helms a big, swift kick for all of us on the other side.

Your tribute to your father had me in tears. My condolences, Michael. He sounds exactly like my adored grandfather--working class guys who survived some of the worst things life can dish out with grace, humor, and modesty. We're all better for having known them.

Posted by: Timmie at July 8, 2008 11:16 AM

I know I don't know you but I read your work, have for many years so...
I'm very sorry to hear of the passing of your father, I doubt that there's anything I can say to ease the pain and to try to do so would be to presume an intimacy which is not mine to share in, your Dad is your Dad and a stranger can never understand what his loss means to you, but may I at least send condolences and respectful thoughts from my family and I to you and your family at this very sad time?

Posted by: A reader at July 8, 2008 11:35 AM

Michael, my condolences to you. You give us so much each day with your crazy posts, please my darling Michael take your time, feel the grief and come to us, we will be here.

Posted by: Pantera Lilly at July 8, 2008 6:16 PM

So very sorry for your loss. Hope the sadness you're feeling now goes away and leaves you only with the best memories of your father.

Posted by: Ana at July 9, 2008 7:43 AM

Michael -
So very sorry. Losing a pop is a heartbreak. Healing, calm karma to you and your family.
Be well and selah,
arp

Posted by: arplight at July 9, 2008 9:23 AM

Mr Musto,
I 'm sure you are feeling all the condolences, candles+prayers out there for this unique man.

How is your mother doing? she is in all of our thoughts as well...losing a parent and a spouse after any illness is just a huge hit. Hang in there with the craziness of it all.

I'm sure you will write your way through this one too! and that, like all your writing, it will resonate with terrible and beautiful truth and hit a hard chord in each of us who is in a similar boat, and make us feel SO much less alone.

One thing that seems obvious but must be said: You really need to take some care of yourself during a stretch like this. Eat extra good stuff etc etc. sorry to be a nag but even on a good day its easy to get fragged by life.


Posted by: ef at July 9, 2008 9:33 AM

Again, I have to thank you all for your words, your wisdom, and your verbal bouquets. I am truly blessed.

Posted by: musto at July 9, 2008 10:32 AM

I just lost my dad, too, Michael. June 12, I spent the night on the phone with my sister and niece, who were trying to help mom through his final hours. He suffered a massive heart attack. I couldn't get there in time, and at age 74, I thought he was too young to go. Alas, he's gone. As sons we remain here to honor their memory.

Posted by: bob power at July 9, 2008 2:43 PM

Michael - I wanted my communication with you to be pithy and amusing (as you inevitably are), however, a much more serious attitude took over when I read of your loss. You have my heartfelt sympathy, and, as others have said, for someone as wonderful as you are to have felt so deeply for your father, he must have been a wonderful person also. I'll continue to wait for your columns with great anticipation (as I always do).

Posted by: William at July 9, 2008 5:17 PM

You were lucky to have had such a wonderful dad--God bless, Michael--

Posted by: Flo at July 9, 2008 5:22 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a great man.

All the best to you and your family.

Posted by: JayR at July 9, 2008 8:50 PM

darling our hearts go out to your and your family during this difficult time. know that you are loved and that prayers are flowing your way. until we meet again on restaurant row. my best to you.

Posted by: dash at July 10, 2008 12:54 PM

deepest sympathy from down,down S America

Posted by: victor at July 10, 2008 3:49 PM

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful dad. As gay men, we always go on about our wonderful mothers, but we rarely talk about dear old dad. My dad was a special guy and I miss him every day. My sympathies to you, Michael.

Posted by: richard at July 10, 2008 8:29 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and impressed with your eloquent tribute to your dad. My sympathies to you and your family. (I don't know who A-Rod is either, and don't care.)

Posted by: Laura Argiri at July 10, 2008 10:54 PM

I am truly sorry for your loss. Consider yourself to be one of the lucky ones to have had a dad (especially one from the old school) that cared (and showed it) as much as he did.

I hope you are able to console yourself with the great memories you have of him.

Posted by: Sheila at July 10, 2008 11:44 PM

I'm sorry, baby.

Posted by: jb at July 11, 2008 12:39 AM

They come at you, mothers, fathers, lovers.....trust me they do. Walking west on Perry Street when the first light makes itself known. Even though you, we, still "have got a lot of livin' to do."

Posted by: MICHAEL J. at July 11, 2008 4:59 AM

So sorry to hear about your loss... I know that you've always been very loyal about visiting your parents every Sunday, which is a sign of true family love... or masochism. Your sweet tribute to you dad makes it clear...

Posted by: Linda at July 11, 2008 2:40 PM

Michael
My deepest sympathies. Take time to heal.
My mother passed 25 years ago (too young!) and my father 12 years ago, and when I think of them, their love, acceptance and wisdom, they still take my breath away.
Keep those warm loving thoughts close.

Posted by: DJ at July 11, 2008 6:14 PM

Coming to this late, just wanted to send my heartfelt condolences.

Posted by: Theresa at July 11, 2008 7:25 PM

Hey there....

Reading about your dad brought tears to my eyes. He sounds like he was a wonderful, gentle, tolerant, and mellow guy.

My dad was, too, and I still miss him terribly.

Posted by: Sandra at July 13, 2008 1:18 PM

My sympathy and condolences to you and family during these healing times.
From one of your dedicated fans from Brooklyn, transplanted to So. Florida.
You still keep us grounded (and happy) as NY'ers with your column and we will keep you in our prayers.
You are a lucky & blessed person to have had such a wonderful father in your life.

Posted by: Krazeechef at July 14, 2008 2:51 AM

i'm so sorry for your loss, michael. sending good vibes and warmth to you and your family.

love from one italian-american kid to another,
dm

Posted by: dana at July 15, 2008 5:07 PM

Greetings from Athens Greece.
I had been reading your articles at the Voice during the 80's(when i lived in N.Y.) and stii reading your blog today.
My deapest sympathy for the loss of your father.
Take some vacation and I will be reading your blog again after your return.
Best regards

Posted by: fotis at July 18, 2008 7:44 AM

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