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Featured

Let's Play Casting Director For Guys and Dolls, Shall We?

By Michael Musto, Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 1:30PM
Comments (12)
Categories: theater

The immortal musical Guys and Dolls is heading back to Broadway, which is about as surprising as the fact that Pal Joey, On The Town, West Side Story, and the entire David Mamet canon are being regurgitated back too. I guess we might as well embrace the inevitable while admitting that, seeing as I played the pivotal role of Benny Southstreet in high school, I know exactly which guys and dolls they should sweep up for the cast so this doesn't become a floating crap game. Various names are already being dropped like stripper's panties, but to a true Broadway conno-sewer like me, the parts should indubitably go to:

Nathan Detroit: Sean Hayes. Relax, it's been played by a gay before.

Miss Adelaide: Kerry Butler or Sherie Rene Scott. Either kook works for me.

Sky Masterson: Cheyenne Jackson or Harry Connick Jr.. Ditto. They both have the shoulderblades.

Sarah Brown: Kelli O'Hara. Duh.

Arvide: Dick Latessa. Alas, the character's song, "More I Cannot Wish You," is the "Little Lamb" of Guys and Dolls. Maybe just cut it?

Nicely Nicely: Stew. You heard me. Stew.

And Benny Southstreet? Who cares! Truth be told, it's not that pivotal a role after all. I didn't even invite my cousins.

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More About:

  • Benny Southstreet
  • Nathan Detroit
  • Sarah Brown

Comments (12)

tofu johnson says:

Anyone but Debra Messing is OK for Adelaide. Maybe even Jane Krakowski?

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 1:52PM
streptacocci jones says:

I like your choices. But if they don't get Dick Latessa, I think Boyd Gaines would be a natural.

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 2:23PM
tugboat annie says:

Cut "More I Cannot Wish You"??? Sacrilege. That's when the audience gets three minutes to sleep.

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 2:24PM
The Late Tallulah Bankhead says:

I'm probably the only cast-recording album devotee who LIKES "Little Lamb" from "Gypsy." It's so awful, it's fabulous. OK, here's my dream casting for the new "Guys and Dolls," the FABULOUS all-gay version:
Adelaide: Lady Bunny, of course
Nathan Detroit: Michael Stipe
Sky Masterson: Ricky Martin
Sarah Brown: Lypsinka
Nicely-Nicely: John Travolta!

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 3:30PM
nicestdionysus says:

Why the hell are Broadway people suddenly shitting themselves over Sean Hayes?? Talk about a one-note talent....and still closeted.

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 3:35PM
GiorgioNYC says:

Musto,
the idea of Stew as Nicely Nicely is brilliant! He'd be terrific. But I can't imagine it ever happening because, as he said in a posting to his Yahoo group, "I'm not a Broadway baby." Still, one can dream...

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 3:46PM
Trixie Blowhard says:

I don't know who the nicestdionysus is...but I love him. He's so damn right. Sean Hayes is a prissy closeted little queen who always plays prissy queens. Will someone please pull the butt plug out of his tight ass?

Posted On: Friday, Aug. 1 2008 @ 5:09PM
David Cuthbert says:

Hugh Jackman --Sky Masterson (or anything else, for that matter, get that Aussie ass and Down-Under dick back on Broadway!).

Matthew Broderick for Nathan Detroit (Nathan Lane can coach him in the part "some snowy night by the fire.")

Patti LuPone -- Miss Adelaide. Can you imagine?

Sarah Brown -- Laura Benanti or Kelli O'Hara. Fun choices-- Lea DeLaria or Varla Jean Merman at her daintiest.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson -- NATHAN LANE! He could eat his heart out to gain weight for the role. Can you imagine the heaven he'd be in? No waist-cincher, no chin-strap, a do-nut-and-chocolate malt diet?

Posted On: Saturday, Aug. 2 2008 @ 1:01PM
GiorgioNYC says:

Michael,
I told Stew (through his Yahoo group The Negro Problem) about your casting idea and he says he "definitely" would do it, but for 2 or 3 months only. He says tho that "they'd never cast me." Maybe if we started a groundswell...who knows?

He also says he loves you and wishes you ran Broadway!

With all due respect D Cuthbert, but Nathan Lane probably would be totally hambone over the top in the role, to judge from his recent work. And Broderick's way too lightweight for Nathan Detroit. But Jackman as Sky would be great.

Posted On: Saturday, Aug. 2 2008 @ 3:48PM
Modern Dilly says:

Did someone really suggest Patti LuPone as Miss Adelaide? The horror, the horror!

Well, at least you'd know that the reason "they get off at Saratoga" isn't for a race but to get away from her.

Hugh Jackman IS the only Sky, but he'll never do it. I thought Kelli O'Hara was already set for a "Fair Lady" revival after "SP." Laura Benanti? Sigh. Only if there's no one else.

I can't imagine Sean Hayes being remotely believable as Nathan. But he might be a fun Adelaide.

Posted On: Sunday, Aug. 3 2008 @ 3:53PM
YLlama says:

Am I going mad? Nathan Detroit can only be played by Mark Hamill. "Luck be a Jedi tonight!"

Posted On: Monday, Aug. 4 2008 @ 1:41PM
James Bradford says:

What about Cyndi Lauper for Adelaide? She can still pull off age 30 with enough make-up...

Posted On: Monday, Aug. 4 2008 @ 5:34PM

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