First Madonna compared John McCain to Hitler, which is the most facile, cynical, extremist thing you can say to get press. Yes, he's a Republican, which is horrible enough, but I honestly feel Nazi comparisons trivialize the Jewish experience, especially since McCain considered running with Lieberman, ha ha. Still, Madonna got the effect—and writeups—she needed to promote her tour, and she must have wet her panties when McCain moronically fired back that she's outrageous. She got a future President to respond to her in the midst of campaigning! And suddenly everyone forgot that Madge once withdrew a video of hers for fear it might seem too anti war or anti Bush.

Meanwhile, mouthy Michelle Obama seems to have been muzzled a bit. Did anyone notice that at the convention, when they panned to shots of her in the crowd, Michelle always seemed to be purposely keeping her trap shut, probably because advisers told her her smile is a little Grinch-like?

And one more broad with some very special flapping gums, Hillary Clinton, was praised to the heavens by the media last week, everyone agreeing that she's absolutely inspiring and should have absolutely been on the ticket in one form or another. It was a disgrace, they all agreed, that Hillary had somehow been denied a stab at returning to her White House. I guess they forgot that all through her campaign, they shot her down, called her a liar and a hypocrite, and did everything imaginable to scuttle her chances. What a bunch of forgetful fucking Nazis!

And now some of them are perversely greasing the wheels for the dreaded Sarah Palin to get her ass in there! The candidate who was chosen to appease women, but who feels women don't have a right to control their bodies! The dame who'll gladly smile for the camera while slashing a caribou's neck, but if you so much as mention abortion, she'll spew pea soup and spin her head like the spiky wheels of a garden weasel! And who looks like a freaking Lenscrafters commercial! This deceptively drab refugee from Northern Exposure, with the surname of a Monty Python founding member, has no place helping direct our savvy country.