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porn

The Facts of Life Is Now a Porno!

By Michael Musto, Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 1:00PM
Comments (14)
Categories: Featured, TV

dirtyfacts.jpgThe Facts of Life was a pretty safe, clean show about four boarding school gals and a housemother, but the title alone suggested there was something more brewing under the surface of the girls' outerwear. Well, the subtext has finally been yanked out, fully lesbiatized, and made suitable only for Nick At Very Late Nite. The show has become a sapphism-driven porn movie! And Lisa Whelchel must be gagging on her Old Testament!

On November 18, Abigail Productions releases an adult spoof called Dirty Facts of Life, which is described as "a kinky and wild twist on the relationships between the girls of the Eastwood School and their lesbian housemother Mrs. Garris. The girls get scared when they suspect Mrs. Gariss of going straight after a visit by the plumber. Together they devise a plan to win her back to her lesbian roots by seducing her. Throughout the day Mrs. Garris defends herself against their sexual advances in the name of good housekeeping. But in the end everyone wins in a triumphant orgy."

Sounds super hot! Jo was always even dykier than the Bradys' maid Alice anyway. And hopefully next up will be the male version, The Fags of Life.

Comments (14) Write Comment
Share

Comments (14)

safire says:

I always wanted to see Mindy Cohn get it on...with anybody!

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 1:33PM
roisters says:

to me, tootie was always sex on a stick.

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 1:34PM
F. Packer says:

Michael-

Now that you're dissing "Facts", shouldn't a Broadway aficionado such as yourself be aware of the mighty Charlotte Rae, and her formidable stage and screen presence pre-FOL.....incidentally, Whelchel was classy enough to avoid writing a Mouskateer-tell-all a la MMCormick....do you have any amusing Robert Reed anecdotes, by any chance?

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 1:42PM
Billy says:

That Michael Lucas should do a gay version of this, "The Fucks of Life", with Mr. Bareass, Nate, Blaine, Joe, and for the fart lovers of his, Tootie.

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 1:49PM
The Late Tallulah Bankhead says:

They were all hideous, although Lisa Whelchel was the worst. In addition to being unattractive, she was such a bad actress, she makes Jemma Jameson look like Meryl Streep! And that nasty old Charlotte Rae! Believe me, she's a very good actress. In real life, she's nothing like the dizzy, flustered, sweet-natured character she played on TV.
I keep waiting for the X-rated version of my favorite western, "Pornanza!" But only if that hairy ol' Pernell Roberts is actually IN it.

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 2:42PM
musto says:

I am VERY aware of Charlotte Rae's Broadway pedigree and also her fine role on "Car 54, Where Are You?" Unfortunately, with "Facts of Life," she flushed it all to oblivion.

I have no stories about Robert Reed, though. Wasn't he in "La Cage aux Folles" at some point? If not, he certainly should have been. And I loved him in "Star!" as the man who finally tamed Julie Andrews. Who knew it took such a queen?

Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 3:53PM
VictoriaB says:

And I loved him in "Star!" as the man who finally tamed Julie Andrews. Who knew it took such a queen?

Wellll, there was Robert Preston in "Victor, Victoria," though he couldn't be said to have "tamed" her, even though they had one scene in bed. Sitting up, fully PJ'd. Best line, from Preston, "Oh, there's nothing so inconvenient as an old queen with a head cold!"

Love, V.


Posted On: Tuesday, Oct. 21 2008 @ 4:27PM
ron dolay says:

charlotte rae was to FOL as charles nelson reilly was to match game. sister's gotta make a buck, doncha know!

Posted On: Wednesday, Oct. 22 2008 @ 10:25PM
Joan Collins says:

Charlotte Rae is a cunt, pure and simple.

Posted On: Thursday, Oct. 23 2008 @ 3:11AM
Ron Mwangaguhunga says:

I'd hot-sauce Lisa Whelchel, circa 1984.

Posted On: Thursday, Oct. 23 2008 @ 3:05PM
Ron Mwangaguhunga says:

I'd "hot-sauce" Lisa Whelchel, circa 1984.

Posted On: Thursday, Oct. 23 2008 @ 3:05PM
animatedlisa says:

Jo was the hottest babe on FOL. I was attending a private all-girls high school at the time this was on TV and our school was like it ~ except for no girls on roller-skates a la Tootie... But the role of Charlotte Rae was played by a nun...take that and run with it!

Posted On: Friday, Oct. 24 2008 @ 3:08PM
Lisa Whelchel Troll says:

Don't let Haven see this!

Posted On: Wednesday, Oct. 29 2008 @ 1:46AM
Chamilea Suwan says:

hi you motherfuker there, com helpe me some coll happening to me here,make coll happening to me here same the was for me! sex end never........

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 26 2009 @ 7:48AM

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