The Worst Pick-Up Lines on the Planet!
SpinVox, the voice-to-text company, recently did some research revealing what the top five 'worst' pick-up lines in the US are, and they came up with these clinkers:
1. "If you were a new sandwich at McDonalds, you'd be called McGorgeous."
2. "Have you got a keg in your pocket, because I'd like to tap that!"
3. "I've lost my number, can I have yours?"
4. "If this were a meat factory, you'd be prime rib."
5. "I'm like American Express, don't go home without me."
Those are admittedly lame (though after a free soda with cranberry, I'd fall for all of them). But there's a slew of even rottener ones they conspicuously left out. Among the best-worst lines I can think of:
"Hey, gorgeous. Are you one of those people who thinks the holocaust really happened?"
"Come here often--or did you just come once six years ago and stayed?"
"I just popped a boner on seeing you. If it stays hard for four days, should I call my doctor?"
"I call my dick 'eight'. Can I call your vagina '1000'--because eight goes into 1000 a LOT of times?"
"You had me at 'Get away'!"
Any other wrongheaded nocturnal emissions you folks can think of?
34 comment(s) / Post a Comment
"Come here often? By 'here', I mean my face."
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 9:21AM"Heaven must be missing an angel--an angel that's about to get fucked!"
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 9:47AM"I'm really straight but for you I could make an exception."
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 9:53AM"Your feet hurt? Cuz you been running through my dreams."
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 10:17AMThe worst one I've ever heard used was "Haven't we slept together before?", and, when I answered no (being 100 % honest, as this was a man I had not as much as seen before), the reply was "Ok. Don't you think it's about time?"
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 10:25AMYou're so hot I better put oven mitts on before I massage your privates.
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 11:56AMWhen I worked as go-go boy, one New Year's Eve at The Slide a very drunk patron said to me, "You're so fucking gorgeous, you make me want to vomit." And he was so drunk, I was afraid he would.
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 1:55PMThe worst line ever uttered in my presence by a man who was, I think, trying to pick me up was:
"How would you like the ride of your life tonight?"
If he had been even remotely attractive, I might have succumbed to the bad pick-up line (I don't get that many anymore, you know). But he was crazy-eyed and creepy, so I walked away saying, "Sorry hon, I've already BEEN to Disneyland."
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 2:03PM"I'm judging a pet talent show at the Edison Hotel...care to be my 'plus one'?"
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 3:32PMI've got two for you, and I witnessed both of these work for the losers who uttered them:
1. "You may not be all that pretty, but the room lights up when you walk in."
2. "I'd really love to fill your belly!"
You may puke now.
Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 19 2008 @ 8:31AMFave: Are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got Fine Fine Fine written all over you.
Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 19 2008 @ 9:29AM"What a dazzling smile! Those are the whitest teeth I hope to ever come across."
Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 19 2008 @ 10:33AMyou belong in the toilet because you're the shit!
Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 19 2008 @ 11:23PM"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."
Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 20 2008 @ 2:40PMI want to hold your face in front of a heater.
Smile. Turn away.
Two I like:
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
or
Get your jacket. You've clicked.
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 7:35AMAre you a Flintstone, cuz you'll make my bed rock.
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 10:22AM1. Do you have mirrors on your pants? Cause I see me in em'
2. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
3. Wanna play battleship? You look like you could hold a lot of sea men.
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 10:54AM1. I'm far from home and miss my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?
2. Hi, I'm Oscar Schindler, and you're on my list.
3. Want to make like squirrels and let me bust a nut up in your hole.
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 3:07PMGet Lost you say? I've got the first three seasons on DVD. Wanna come over and watch something?
-Bradford Noble
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 11:46PMI already tried to get "The Fuck Away" but I couldn't find it on Amazon. But I'm into that kinky shit if you've got a bootleg, and I'm not talkin' Levis flares neither.
Wink wink.
-Bradford Noble
Posted On: Friday, Nov. 21 2008 @ 11:54PM"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
Never fails.
Posted On: Saturday, Nov. 22 2008 @ 7:33AMGirl...did you fart, because you are blowing me away.
Posted On: Monday, Nov. 24 2008 @ 6:39PMMy personal all-time low: "You look like you're just begging to get fucked". Spoken by a guy who made Steve Buscemi look hot. I just laughed and walked away, violently shaking my head.
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 25 2008 @ 3:55PMhello miss. would you like to come back to my apartment and have intercourse?
Posted On: Monday, Jan. 19 2009 @ 7:54PMAre you from tennessee? Because your the only ten i see.
Posted On: Tuesday, Feb. 3 2009 @ 12:52PMDo you have a map? Because i keep getting lost in your eyes.
Posted On: Tuesday, Feb. 3 2009 @ 12:56PMI have skittles in my pants wanna come taste the rainbow?
Posted On: Saturday, Feb. 7 2009 @ 10:00PMTo girl at bar: "May I push in your stool?"
projectile vomit every time . . . it works.
Posted On: Friday, Apr. 24 2009 @ 11:17PM
