I still say most of them are full of it! Especially the men.

GLAAD really sucks. They haven't given you recognition? Didn't they give an award to Liz Smith at the height of her bearding for celebrities and closeting herself? Don't they chase after closeted celebrities to shower them with any crumb of glitzy recognition? You have been out and outspoken for decades. They should hang their heads in shame.

glaad is sometimes on target, but too often they will go after anything famous and glitzy, even if they represent the height of self loathing. i feel they are compromised by their whorishness and don't always champion the real heroes of the community.

I have always felt that "most" guys stating they are bisexual was just their way of letting you know they are interested in having sex with other guys, but wanting to keep something straight about them - as if being bisexual was more manly than just stating "Hey, I'm gay."

This is truthful in my own perspective too, as I have meet a lot of LGBT people and have yet to come across anyone who seems to be a bisexual. I'm a guy and I'm interested in having sex with other guys and I've had sex with females too, so loosely and technically I'm bisexual - however, I'm man enough to just state "Hey, I'm gay."

I love that GLAAD is after you---and not with a gigantic lifetime achievement award---but for belittling the bisexual population. That would include all of us, and me in particular. Right now I am burning pussy-scented incense to balance the pungent smell of cock in my bedroom.

So it turns out to be bisexuals who have no sense of humor, not lesbians.

All I can do is paraphrase Dorothy Parker and say that if you're the Gay Devil, "Can you kindly direct me to hell?"

Like the newish photo, which makes you look like Christopher Durang's naughty choirboy nephew.

My experience is that most bisexual men don't bother coming out as such because of the attitudes of people like "crackers" above. There is nothing for them to gain, considering the amount of shit they take from both communities. The internet has made it easier for them to network amongst themselves. This is not to deny the privilege of being able to disappear into the "straight" community. The seemingly universal "bi now, gay later" passage that gay men take is real too. I know the parallel existence of "fake" and "real" bis makes things confusing and painful, but tough shit. Gays are as uncomfortable with ambiguity as straights. Human nature, I guess.

I think that male bisexuality is possibly more threatening to the "straight" power structure. A lot of the most visible gay men in the mainstream media (Musto, Perez) seem to fit straight people's idea of how a gay man should act - funny, camp, etc. (Is it a coincidence that it is these men who seem to be the most biphobic? Just asking.) Their visible "gayness" is different enough from the average straight guy's behavior that he doesn't have to question his own sexuality.

It is also my impression that the same-sex marriage struggle is causing some gay leaders to throw "slutty" bisexuals under the bus. Though bis don't choose their orientation any more than monosexuals, they are perceived as doing so. This threatens the deal gays are making with straights: "please accept us, we can't help it, we're prisoners of our biology!" Too bad they didn't take Gore Vidal's social libertarian stance - it's my business: stay the fuck out of it.

I think a better change would be to B-GLAAD. Then they would sound like they are agents of Pollyanna gladness and joy as well as advocating for the rights of the queer. Do you think maybe the religious right might go for that kinder, gentler look?

Many women are very flexible in their sexuality. I read it in The Times...

But what about the trannies? Shouldn't it be TB-GLAAD?

I side with the idea that there is a continuum between straight and gay. However, something that is usually ignored in these discussions is that people settle, particularly in sexual matters. You want to get married? Monogamy may be required. Many types of occupational success? Gotta have a wife and kids. People's lives are not entirely dictated by their sexuality, and many are willing to lie to get what they want (in sex and in life). They hide and pretend. In a more interesting world, we would have greater freedom to experiment and make unusual choices without risking our futures. You may not run into bisexuals, Michael, because they are not traveling in your circles, and if they are, they don't talk about it. Or they have made their peace with what was once a fluid sexuality and cruise for gay porn when the wife's asleep.

@ vicki

Maybe it's just time for a total rescramble. Perhaps GLADTAB. Or TADBLAG. Or BALDTAG.

Scrabulous, anyone?

You're not a monster, Michael, you just get off on being condescending and priggish. I repeat from my comments in your last feature that the truly disgusting thing is the pleasure you take in being part of the problem. You have found a modicum of success and happiness in life writing unapologetic opinion in a hip Cali newspaper; do you actually believe that what you are doing in the Voice means anything, ultimately? Or that your position there really gives you the right to pretend to your readers that you have any authority or any more in-depth understanding of human nature than they? Sir, you are an arrogant fool, and your smug self-assuredness might be appropriate in one of those pathetic street-published punk 'zines that were popular back in the '90's, but it has no place in real journalism, even a psuedo-publication like the Voice. You are ruining your paper's reputation for inclusion, and since you cannot even deign to apologize to your readership without further condescension, it would be awfully nice of you to resign and go back to being a just another bitchy gay barista downtown. At least then someone would be paying for a service while they listen to your drivel.

Really, SAWY - why go through so much effort to write such a diatribe? If you don't like MM's opinions, skip his columns and La Daily Musto. Life is too short, so get one!

I was BI once upon a time - and I LOVE Michael. Just remember what Mick and Keith used to say about whatever controversy du jour was swirling about the Stones:
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!"

I had asked to be educated about real bisexuals out there, and I'm glad that I was.

Good for you - there's a lot of myths and misconceptions about bisexuality, and bisexuals should try to educate first, with forming pitchfork-waving mobs a distant second.

To the other respondents above, it's not about taking a joke - it's about not being seen as a joke. It's hard to laugh with someone when they're sneering at you.

Take care.

Ah but you see, sexuality can be fluid, so those men and women may not have been lying at all.

Yeah!
Me and my friend got in an argument about it because even her little cousin was comming with this "I'm Bi" stuff. Her response was that if you have any prefrence you are NOT BI, and there is really nothing wrong with being NOT BI. We came up with a term which is "On the Spectrum" which means you have a preference, but at the same time live somewhere outside of the finite points of being Gay, or Hetro.

Instead of all these spectrum folks calling themselves BI they should make their prefrence clear and leave the door open for play with anyone that makes their tea boil.

If a person is called BI they should be ready to have a Real Relationship with people of both sexs, if someone is only interested in relationships with one sex, and doesn't mind screwing both, their on the spectrum.

Some gays secretly crave bisexual men, but their catty instincts often repel those bisexual men who might be looking for love. Men like Mr. Musto are compelled to lash out as such. The gay community as a whole is interesting these days as some that are in it make it harder for anyone to be accepted for their orientation, yet these are the same rights they want for themselves. An opinion is one thing, but to deny someone else their feelings JUST LIKE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DO WITH YOU is sad. As a bisexual man who enjoys meeting all kinds of people, I find it touching that a bitter and failed man like Mr. Musto forgets to check his own insecurity before commenting on the behaviors of others. Grow up, man. People love who they want to love and there's nothing you can do that will stop the rest of us from finding each other. Find yourself a good man so that you can stop hating on the rest of us. Gay and Lesbian pride? Right. Fishsticks anyone?? Since the egos have not been checked at the door.

TNB:

"Instead of all these spectrum folks calling themselves BI they should make their prefrence clear and leave the door open for play with anyone that makes their tea boil."

Who the hell are you? I "should" wear a sign to let you know I am 60/40 or 80/20 one way to make your life easier? It is not a component of gay liberation to compel others to keep your life uncomplicated. It is not my job to make it easy for you to categorize me. You don't have to be straight to be a control freak.

My "preference" and how I define myself are no more your business than yours is the business of straight people. Sorry to be the fly in your pure gay ointment, but you don't have any more of a right to define or police me than a straight.

I suggest the following books:

"Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940" and "Queer London" for a more realistic view of the spectrum of male non-heterosexual behavior. I concur with the poster above who suggests that Mr. Musto may not move in the same circles as many men at different points on the "spectrum".

Mark Simpson, as usual, is well worth reading:

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2006/04/26/curiouser-and-curiouser-the-strange-disappearance-of-male-bisexuality/

You think that's bad? You should have seen the flak I caught when I started the "Drop the B-T" campaign. I want to drop the B and the T from GLBT. We should just be gays and lesbians. Why should we allow fakers and people with gender identity issues hog our spotlight? If you let too many groups ride the coattails, you're bound to dilute the message!

Anyway.

I'm a bi male and I've heard all of this. Twenty years ago, gay males I had sexual relations with told me my bisexuality was a path to realizing I was gay. Two decades later, my preference is exactly the same as it was then.

I keep seeing people trying to define bisexuality as exactly the same preference for both men an women. Bisexuals, on the other hand, define it as having an attraction to both men and women, but don't place requirements on the strength of the attractions.

Take a quick look at the Kinsey Scale, from 0 to 6. It's a bit of an abuse to use this to describe a person instead of a behavior, but it works well for illustrative purposes.

0 - The first absolute (numerically) is straight. You do not act sexually towards your gender.

1 - Predominantly Heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual. If you'll only have relations with your own gender when the situation feels right, you fit here. Attention seeking bisexuals also fit AS BISEXUALS in this low level of homosexual motivation. Know any gays who like to find straights for homosexual sex? They're really finding low homosexual motivated 1's by this scale, otherwise they wouldn't be getting consent.

2 - Predominantly Heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual. At this level, you actively seek homosexual relations, but still have a preference for the heterosexual ones. (This is me, and it has been since I've been sexually active. I've been told I don't ping gay-dar and most people would never know I'm bisexual. I've been happy in a heterosexual marriage for 13 years. That means if you met me, you'd never know you should count me as a "bisexual you've known" unless I told you.) At this level, you will likely seek out homosexual relations, though not as often as heterosexual.
3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual. This balancing act seems to be the litmus test people try to apply to bisexuals. Most people I know have some sort of preference, but those whose preference is mild would fit here. I do know a lot of these people, but almost all of them are women. Most male bisexuals I know are 1-2 or 4-5. (That's annecdotal, not science!)

4 - Primarily homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual - When was the last time you heard of someone "converting" from homosexual to heterosexual? Though preferences can change over time and with situations, bisexuals believe there is no such thing as a conversion. Those people were probably just 2's or 4's living exclusively as a single lifestyle for a time.

5 - Primarily homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual. Ever hear of a homosexual who hangs out with a heterosexual, opposite friend but on the odd occassion has relations with them? They aren't a different person or having deviate behavior, there just someone who will only have hetersexual relations if the situation is just right, and we consider that person a bisexual at a 5 - very mild heterosexual motivation.

6 - Exclusively homosexual - the other absolute.

Do you disagree with these definitions? Are you thinking that the 1's and 5's aren't really bisexual, they're just "straying" heterosexuals or homosexuals? The reason you don't understand the bisexual mindset, then, is that you don't understand how inclusive it is. Any motivation is considered part of the person rather than deviant from an established "normal" heterosexual or homosexual behavior.

By our understanding of ourselves, a person can have a preference - even a strong preference - but if they are willing to act on more than one preference under any circumstances, they are bisexual.

An astute person will probably realize that there is no strong bisexual lifestyle, and that bisexual people tend to attach to the community aligned with their strongest preference and disappear. Hetero society is a default. GLT communities claim members. Bisexual is just a more accurate description of members in both.

If that isn't what you understood bisexuality to mean, then we're probably just arguing vocabulary. Who knows - whatever community you belong to, you may know quite a few more bisexuals than your realized!

"I would think real bisexuals would be pissed too that so many people pretending to be bi constantly cloud their category."

Real bisexuals know that people might be searching around for a sexual identity that fits them, especially when they are just coming out.

Real bisexuals would also hope that a public gay figure with a large readership like yourself would take the responsibility of educating yourself BEFORE you claim a level of expertise about a group of people you know nothing about. Would you spout off about lesbians the way you do about bis? Would you say that real lesbians don't exist or some other such nonsense?

And now you say we treat you like a monster? I'm not crying for you. Pull your head out of your ass.

That's right Musto, sit back and chuckle. Act as though you are better than everyone else. Stroke your ego until its chaffed and bleeding. It was all just a joke and bisexuals should take it right? I bet that is exactly what you do every time you are ridiculed for being gay and your rights are pulled from beneath you. You have "championed" gay needs and rights? Or is it that you have "championed" your own brand of bigotry and self centered beliefs. You have done nothing for the gay community, other than set it back 30 years.

Also thank you for the right to dissent, we really needed your permission.

To MM (and everyone else who has joined in the "bis don't exist" chorus: think about how you feel when someone says mean, ignorant things about gay men or lesbians. No one appointed you the identity police. You don't have the right to pass judgment on other people's experiences.

For those of you who "don't get it," for those who want to learn more, and for those who identify as bisexual and want info and support, I strongly recommend a book called Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World (edited by Ochs & Rowley). There's a new edition coming out any day and it's rumored to be even more wonderful than the first edition. does a really good job explaining bisexuality.

We do hate fakers MM. And we DO educate. But people like you make it very very hard. Educate YOURSELF, think about how it feels when people are ignorant about you, and don't do it to others. Same goes for all of you.

Bisexual Erasure is very prevelent in our media and research on all things queer these days, in much part in the queer community because Bisexuality is seen as threatening to the Gay Lobby itselfm, which has now become all about saying sexuality is fixed and without change (and change looks like choice - which by the way are two completely separate phenomena)which is unfortunate for many bi, fluid, and trans members are perceived to have. Change in sexual attractions over times happens. It doesn't mean taht those who are honest about it were lying in the first place, or are confused or whatever. And what with the massive pressure to conform to a certain "gay standard" - its no wonder more of us don't speak out.