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Featured

Your Memories Of Hitting Puberty?

By Michael Musto, Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 3:30PM
Comments (23)
Categories: Featured

mustoadvice.jpg
Reaching puberty was so memorable for me that I don't think it's ever been surpassed as a landmark in my life--except maybe for seeing Fantasia in The Color Purple. As I remember it, all in a matter of moments the world became exciting, throbbing, thrilling, terrifying, confusing, and very wet.

And years later, I realized that everyone hits that hormonal hurdle in wildly different ways. Porn person Michael Lucas recently told me he attained pubescence when he started getting off on the flow of bathtub water spraying accidentally onto his penis. When the young Lucas first orgasmed as a result of this adventure, he was scared shitless because he had no idea what that white stuff was, but obviously he liked the sensation, so he kept running to the faucet for more! A few years later, his tool became his most prized possession, not to mention his livelihood--all thanks to a little bathtub geyser.

And how did you first explode into adulthood? Do you still tingle from head to toe just thinking about it? Has it been downhill ever since?

Comments (23) Write Comment
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Comments (23)

Cha Cha Walters says:

I'll let you know as soon as it hits.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 3:37PM
Selective Outrage says:

WRINKLED, OLD, INTOLERANT QUEENS (MINUS CHA CHA WALTERS)

the MUSTO BOY's only memory of puberty.....was the growth of PUBIC HAIR ON HIS SCALP and the emergence of his GIANT HONKING SCHNOZ!...and his rejection by his classmates...MALE & FEMALE alike!

"DOWN HILL EVER SINCE"....ya I think that APPLIES TO ALMOST EVERY MEMBER OF THIS INTOLERANT GROUP OF PETTY, LITTLE MEN...

SHOW OF HANDS: How many of you look like Al lewis....BE HONEST (LOL)


Now...


PISS OFF!

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 3:45PM
CJay says:

Selective Outrage, why don't you get a life? If you're only outlet of pleasure -- maybe the rejection you alluded to in your post is perhaps a mirror of your own life? -- is, pardon the expression, flaming on MM's blog, then you have a pretty sad life.

If you live in NYC, then there are millions of things that you can do.

I would consider flaming on here to not be one of them.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 4:01PM
Tim in SF says:

CJay, that nut doesn't have anything better to do. That's his problem. You should recognize The Crazy all over his post, and you should feel sorry for him. With the medical system being what it is today, it's doubtful he is getting the help he needs.

And, Musto, I know how much you love it when we defend you against the crazies, but responding to them is an even bigger waste of time. When I see so many capital letters in a comment, I usually skip the comment and every comment after it, which will undoubtedly be a string of replies.

FEH.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 5:06PM
Jerome Robbins says:

Jerry here....and I'm a stand up guy! And all you men out there, men whom I don't have to say, "Faggot! Do you have to walk like a faggot? Can't you move like a man, you faggot?" will remember the first they spanked their monkey.
Why for me it was when I was 11, the night before my first day in the 6th grade. I remember thinking about my sister's tutu, and how curvaceous it would look on me. I was a stand up kid then, just like I'm standing tall today. All erect. Not like some limp wrist pansy who can't walk like a man. Luckily for me I had a chance to live out my phantasy. I fucked Monty in the ass with a tutu on. Monty...yeah, little princess darkmeat. A man's man. Just like me. Happy Memorial Day, MEN!

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 5:14PM
jimbo says:

At 12, I had a dream that I was a circus act, nakd high atop a pole, as it were. It was exciting to be flaunting my stuff for the cheering throng. And it seemed to real, like it was actually happening. I woke up covered in jizz.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 6:19PM
querelle says:

Michael Lucas hit puberty from a bathtub faucet? That's funny, I hit puberty from Michael Lucas!!

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 6:20PM
jose says:

Well, this weird light-skinned black man with splotchy skin was serving me "Jesus juice"...

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 6:35PM
QueersSuck says:

Musto, why do you keep bringing up that bottom-of-the-gay-barrel streetwalker in your columns? Are you getting "freebies" on the side from him? What gives?

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 7:14PM
CMG says:

I was fat, depressed, and my period came at the worst time possible. Too embarrassing to even reveal and it was worse than 16 Candles. But boy was I in love Chris O'Donnell.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 8:12PM
sanchez says:

I reached puberty thanks to chris o'donnell too! In Batman! Yum.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 9:32PM
Alaimo says:

This seems so kinky now... I had a gang of fellow 12-year-old boy neighbors and masturbation became a voyeuristic activity like overnight. One more mature buddy, Steve, would have no qualms about whipping out his long schlong and beating it to climax... while 2 or 3 of us watched in awe. Not all had yet reached puberty but that didn't stop us from trying out damnedest at every opportunity to match Steve's skills. Thanks, Musto. This was a fun memory to relive.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 11:22PM
nostradavid says:

I was a singing pirate in a sixth grade musical.
My voice totally broke during a big solo. How embarrassing!
I could never sing soprano again.

Posted On: Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 11:46PM
The Intl says:

I noticed a stirring in my pre-teen trousers whenever I smelled the talcum/rubber blend from ladies in girdles. That STILL does it for me.

Posted On: Saturday, May. 23 2009 @ 6:25AM
Selective Outrage is a faggot. says:

Selective Outrage is a faggot.

Posted On: Saturday, May. 23 2009 @ 1:02PM
herbie handcock says:

I felt something wild and primal come over me at the dinner table. I ran to the bathroom and touched myself. I shot geysers. My parents and my sister could hear my scream of delight--even over the sink water I'd turned on--but never said a word about it.

I returned to the dinner table looking pleased, guilty, and very confused. I later asked my older cousin what had happened and he explained it in his own course way. I still don't get it.

Posted On: Saturday, May. 23 2009 @ 3:39PM
little edie says:

yes, i had the horse hung neighbor who saw me for what i was & started jerking off while i would be lying on the bed, perusing tiger beat. he asked me if i wanted to blow him and the rest, as we say is very ancient history.

Posted On: Sunday, May. 24 2009 @ 12:19AM
Jamie Bancroft says:

Michael, are you on Facebook. I wanna share some photos with you that you took using a charity disposable camera a few years back. I won the camera and had the pics developed.

Jamie

Posted On: Sunday, May. 24 2009 @ 3:49AM
Musto says:

I'm not on Facebook. Any way to email them to me at musto@villagevoice.com? I'd love to see them.

Posted On: Sunday, May. 24 2009 @ 9:54AM
Venson Thomas says:

Puberty schmuberty . . . has any one read this?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/us/24benefit.html?hp

Posted On: Sunday, May. 24 2009 @ 11:17AM
little edie says:

what? diplomats didn't go thru puberty too? i know, i know, all that protocol.

Posted On: Sunday, May. 24 2009 @ 2:09PM
af says:

Age 11, Catholic school mass. I felt like I pissed my pants. Later discovered the mess and spent the rest of the day wearing a pad the size of a station wagon, praying that no one look at my butt. This was all a religious experience of sorts.

Posted On: Monday, May. 25 2009 @ 8:50AM
Selective Outrage says:

My asshole made a funny smell like your moms ballsax

Posted On: Friday, May. 29 2009 @ 9:36PM

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