I like bears so I'd fuck Jack. Slap Jake. Marry Ryan.

I know I'm the only one with those choices, which makes me feel even better.

I'd fuck Jake, fuck Jake, and then fuke Jake again.

Slap the other two.

Fuck Bea Arthur, marry Rue McLanahan, slap Betty White.

This is difficult... because TRUTH is -- I'd both fuck and marry Jake -- and slap the other two repeatedly and frequently until my palms were sore (Jack & Ryan both annoy me).

However - in the spirit of following the rules, here goes:

Marry: Jake
Fuck: Ryan (and slap him afterward)
Slap: Jack

i can't believe everyone isn't saying "Fuck Jake". It's such a "Duh."

I would Marry Jake,
Slap Jack and
Slap-fuck Ryan.

I don't like any of them. I guess I would slap Seacrest and then kill myself.

I would marry Ryan because that boy is hard working and makes some good money. And he IS kinda cute. But then I would cheat on him by fucking Jake(like a whorey Alexis from Dynasty) because Ryan would be always busy with work. And definitely bitch slap Jack Black because he is annoying like a persistent bug. Hell, with all of Ryan's money, I might even hire some goons to really beat him up! Now, that will make it a true soap opera! We ARE playing a fantasy here, right?

Fuck Jake,
Fuck Jack,
Slap Musto for recycling this tired concept yet again.
I don't want to marry anyone.

fuck me, fuck my dog.

Fuck Ryan to force him to come out, marry Jake and be his beard, slap Jack Black for ruining Harold Ramis' career.

Ideally I would go with fudge's suggestions.