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Featured

Booze on Broadway: What Next?

By Michael Musto, Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 1:00PM
Comments (8)
Categories: theater

rock-of-ages-3-751645.jpg
The '80s jukebox musical Rock of Ages has been trying to scare up extra bucks and applause by having crouching workers run down the aisles selling alcoholic beverages to the crowd throughout the show (though when I saw it, no one was biting. They must have already been tanked from the matinee.)

If this becomes a trend, how could other productions tailor it to their own specific aesthetic needs? Not surprisingly, I have some ideas:

Next To Normal can serve cups of Zoloft with a warning, "Don't flush it away!!"

Waiting For Godot can make you pay in advance for your delicious, lifesaving cocktail, which will never come.

9 To 5 should serve steaming cups of ambition in cheap styrofoam cups.

Mary Poppins can sell a spoonful of sugar for $10 plus tax and tip.

And Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking can serve whatever the fuck you want!

Comments (8) Write Comment
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  • Zoloft
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Comments (8)

Anonymous says:

Sweeney Todd: blood sausage on toothpick

Hamlet: Danish

Raisin in the Sun: Sun-Maid or yogurt-covered?

Bent: pretzels

Wicked: Cheez Wiz or Cheddar Brick

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 2:46PM
little edie says:

they should start giving out vodka tonics to the delightful visitors (of CERTAIN websites) whilst they unselfishly give of themselves.

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 3:37PM
jizzy says:

Rent can serve protease cocktails.

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 4:02PM
dabitch says:

People at Jersey Boys can eat buckets of fried chicken. Oh, they already do?

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 4:03PM
bway bill says:

Some stiff cocktails would have helped me through Mary Stuart.

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 6:27PM
Southern Dave says:

"So you come crawlin' back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn't go for BOOZE or DOPE."

Broadway's changed, Helen.

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 9:58PM
SnappySammySmoot says:

They will give up on it soon enough.
There's a theatre here that lets you push a button on the armrest to summon a waiter for food and booze. There's more legroom - so the waiters can walk back and forth in front of you so often that you want to trip them. Then they come back when the movie is reaching the climax to settle the tab. More legroom means fewer seats per show. A lot of people refuse to see a movie there because it's so annoying. I usually go to a bar after the show to get drunk anyway.

Posted On: Wednesday, Jul. 8 2009 @ 10:04PM
Sarah says:

'My First Time' could serve... well lots of things.

Posted On: Thursday, Jul. 9 2009 @ 11:48AM

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