Thirty two bucks. And it's vividly etched in your mind for eternity? And a scene was made?

Answer this question. Have you ever given a "pair" of something as two separate gifts? If you have, then you're cheap.

You're just going to have to learn how to be an asshole and take advantage of everyone you meet ,that's all.

Was there ever a time when people felt any semblance of socialist guilt and paid according to their earning ability? I ask plaintively because it's always these yuppie types who insist on eating out and splitting the check (so they can shop afterward) when they very well know they can pay for my share a few times over without noticing any difference in their daily allowance, while I'd have to mind my budget for the next two weeks. Die, yuppie scum!

In "Another Time, Another Place" (A Lana Turner movie where she plays a war correspondent, wears mink on the battlefield and gets it on with a young, skinny Sean Connery) I would have picked up the check.

Now, in these dire economic times, I attempt to lunch with only one, three at the most and dangle my hand like a stroke victim when it comes time to pick up the check.

Just announce when you sit down "I'll just pay for what I order." It sounds tacky, but you'll be glad you said it.

When it's a group dinner like that, order up a storm because you're going to be splitting it and THEY'RE ordering up a storm.

Or just stay home and eat cat food alone.

The next time this happens to me, I'm going to add a bottle of Cristal to go!

I'm reminded of the time that "Brian" (his real name) invited himself to lunch, ordered up a storm, complained about splitting the check with others, then split the check with me. Expensive salad that day, but a valuable lesson learned.

I know this girl and pulls that shit all the time.Orders drinks
and expensive dishes and then always says lets split the check. Always in a large group . Just put in for what you ordered . If your not drinking then there really is no reason to
pay for others , Unless your felling rich.

I stopped going in on lunch deliveries with my coworkers for this very reason. I was constantly getting screwed over for at least $5-$10 each time. Now I bring my own lunch or go out and eat alone in my car.

I think this happens alot because people forget how much they ordered, not because they're cheap. The waiter should always leave one menu at the table instead of taking them all away as soon as you order. Why do they do that anyway?

Musto is clearly in the throes of the contradiction of being a professional freeloading hack journalist who expects everything for free and his private life, where everyone naturally expects him to pay through the nose for having to put up with his agonizing presence ==

"People forget how much they ordered"??

Yeah because they ordered lots of drinks and got smashed and then expect you to pay for it all.

This must stop.

It's a conundrum.
Should you tell the waiter "separate checks" when you order,
or hope some saint picks up the whole check?

Some drama queens live for the moment they can
"overreact and really made a sad spectacle."

Seems...ummm...tacky? Petty? Unless you really order nothing, or maybe just a drink (and then the others should just pay for your drink) check should be split equally among the diners. Otherwise you might seem to be obsessed about every dime and it's just not attractive. Ease up, Mikey! You ain't poor! If money is a huge issue for anyone, they shouldn't sit down in a restaurant with others that are going to dine. Maybe if you know you're going to see people, but can't bear the thought of paying for your meal GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUCKS, just ask where to meet up with them later. I'm wondering if you tip cab drivers!

Where was you eating Musto ?? thought you ate at diners and coffee shops.

I think a lot of you didn't read carefully enough to see that MM doesn't drink. I have the same problem for the same reason. Wine and liquor boost a tab insanely, and I'm not crazy about paying for someone else's buzz.

This, like my asshole, is a sensitive issue that should be approached, like my asshole, from several different angles.

So:

1. You live in NYC. You have been out to dinner before. If no one person is footing the bill, we split checks. Pay up or stay at home.

2. You are old. You have been out to dinner a million times. Dinner is an event, not a calculated tit for tat financial transaction. Split the check. Save your nickel and diming for brunch where your endless cup of joe and my endless flute of mimosa are on equal playing field.

3. I've heard you called a "fake-cheap-jew-bastard" before, and even if it was me saying it, it still rings true. $32 makes you tremble??? Don't go to Strip House, gurl...

4. Now I'm hungry.

Sincerely,
Cookie Cutter

Musto, please go out with my 91 year-old grandmother. She makes damn well sure when she goes out with anybody for food that she pays the entire bill and will cuss out anybody in her way of the check with a look in her eye that could stop anybody in their tracks. Be my guest, Musto. She eats like a bird and drinks nothing but bloody marys.

By my calculaton, it was $9 you were played for. You must feel raped.

My dear Michael

Your penance for this unusual lapse of assertiveness - and unfortunate loss of graciousness, as per CC above - is to invite 3 friends out to dinner and at the END of the meal for you to pay the check with a big smile on your face.

Then every other time that you are dinner please say to your fellow guests BEFORE you order that you need a "Separate check for me please". If anyone quibbles at you for not being a team player, politely explain that you have to keep separate receipts for your tax accountant because of your freelance career. This will also serve to remind them that being (in)famous does not mean you are stinking rich.

Have fun with it

PS I think you may also be getting trapped in the menu price vs. final price chasm.

$18 plus tax and tip is $23.40 ($1.50 tax at 8.375% + $4 tip at 20%), so $25 is not unreasonable either here. At the most, you chipped in an extra buck!

So is it possible that you may be a tad mathematically challenged? If so, think about bringing and using your own calculator with you, even if you have to go to the bathroom to do so unobtrusively.

Alternatively, for every thing that you want to order, just add on a third of the price again before YOU order it ($18 + a third again = $24).

Bonne chance, mon pauvre ami

Patrick M:

He only paid $25 after he made a big stink. They wanted him to pay $32.

Timing; get up from the table early, say you're late for an engagement but it's been such fun and throw down that which covers your meal plus a little extra for the tip and split.
Or enjoy what you like, accept that it's all swings and roundabouts and next time have that extra cocktail yourself without guilt.
I loathe tab quibblers and once quietly picked up the entire wine tab on the side so we could have nice bottles and not the cheapest, just to shut the lowlifes up after they'd bitched all night about the wine prices. Some people are joyless, lack any sophistication and have no social skills, don't be those people.
If you're broke stay away until you're not.
Life is short, for your own sake, enjoy it.

It's not tacky to expect to pay for what you ordered, and I don't think people are trying to screw you.

It goes without saying that you split the bill unless someone speaks up otherwise...but it's not uncommon for people to show up and just get one drink or an appetizer...so why should you pay for an entire dinner?
And it's a lot easier to secure payment for only your bill. At the end, just say, "guys...I only ordered $18 worth plus tax and tip...". Usually the response is "Oh! OK! We'll just recalculate the bill then..."

I've never had an issue of people being upset that we're not just "splitting the bill" but perhaps that's because my friends are a good mix of phD students (and thus, scrimp as such, understandably so) and working folk...

Yeah quills, that's pretty much what I just said. Nice contribution, jerk.

I was thinking only today about a shnorrer neighbor of mine who spotted me dining alone in a local restaurant, sat down and ordered an entire dinner while, the entire time mortifying me with his demands on the waitress, got up and left before the check arrived and announced he'd make breakfast for me some time in the future.

Oh and to jonster, what about all those individual gifts you buy for couples for say, birthdays but they always reciprocate with a joint gift between them for you?

Yeah, its up to you to clarify when you sit down with the person who organized it what the expectation is and tell them you are jsut paying for yourself. I usually tell people to pay for their own drinks period. I have many friends who dont drink and dont want to put them out. Unless everyone had a bottle of wine, etc.

It was $7. Depending on how close I am to the people I'm eating with & how often this goes on, I probably would have split the check. It's when my tab comes to about $20 and the split bill is between $40-50 each that I decline to play that way.

when you eat out, eat a dick. you won't mind paying extra for that.

^CMG -- your grandmother sounds like my kind of gal. And if she likes her bloody's spicy, we'll get along like a house a'fire. She may invite me to dine anytime.

Try using an iPhone App that splits the bill fairly, like Bill Split OCR or Bill Split EZ. It takes like 20 seconds and I've found that no one complains when I do it.

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