Closeted TV Star Raymond Burr Lived a Life of Lies!

Posted by Michael Musto at 8:45 AM, April 21, 2008

My emails are generally clogged with shit about erections and elections and constant updates on what amazing thing Ashlee Simpson just said on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. So I was thrilled to finally get something urgent and important--to me, anyway! It said there's a book coming out in May by New York Post TV writer Michael Seth Starr, all about the secret life of the weird and famous Raymond Burr! Who? Raymond Burr, silly! He was a mega TV star--picture Kiefer Sutherland, but with more gravitas--whose off-camera script was apparently even more elaborate than the ones he acted out on the tube. In fact, the guy's intricately detailed straight life was every bit as much of a sham as that of...oh, any number of people. Listen up to the release and learn it, kids:

"Hiding in Plain Sight is the first full biography of Raymond Burr, one of the most popular TV actors of all time. He was the lead actor on the top-rated TV shows Perry Mason and Ironside, which between them ran uninterrupted for 20 years—a feat that has never been equaled.

"What is largely unknown is that Burr was leading a secret gay life at a time when exposure would have been career suicide. So to deflect questions, he created an elaborate cover story for himself as a grieving husband and father. He claimed to have been twice widowed—he said his first wife died in a plane crash and his second marriage ended with his wife's tragic early death from cancer. And there was also a dead son—little 10-year-old Michael who lost his brave battle with leukemia. Neither of the wives nor Michael ever existed. But that didn't stop these lies from being perpetuated again and again, up to and including his obituary in the New York Times. Why Burr chose this tactic can never really be known, but Starr offers some compelling theories."

Gosh! Thank God we've come so far that today's stars can all live completely open, honest lives without any deception whatsoever. Right, wink wink?

Which Stars Have Shattered Glass and Come Out?

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 16, 2008

Illustration from the Out piece by Julien Pacaud

In the new issue of Out magazine, I have a story called "Shattered Glass," about how the celebrity closet has changed since my 2007 Out cover story on "The Glass Closet"—you know, stars' tricky way of living gay lives without actually coming out on the record. The new piece covers the subtle shifts that have happened since then, which I can very gaily summarize like so:

David Hyde Pierce came out in a very quiet way soon after the "Glass Closet" piece, um, came out. (Yeah, I'll take credit.) But then he got REALLY quiet—there's not been a word since. (Don't blame me.)

Neil Patrick Harris and TR Knight are still out, still successful, and still happy. Hooha!

Ditto for fellow TV stars John Barrowman and Bryan Batt, both of whom came out simply because they wanted to—not because of internet chatter or screaming fights with bigots!

But on another channel, Anderson Cooper is still publicly ambiguous. And still cute.

And bigtime movie star Jodie Foster? Well, after getting us inordinately excited by thanking "my beautiful Cydney" at a luncheon last December, she's now more closeted than ever. Glass has practically turned to stone. Clearly Jodie left her honesty somewhere on Nim's Island.

Who would YOU like to see come out? (Or go back in.)

READ
"Shattered Glass" by Micheal Musto

Whitney and Bobby Were a Sham? What Next: Rosie and Tom Cruise?

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, April 3, 2008

So in Bobby Brown's upcoming autobiography, according to Page Six, the r&b star says he feels Whitney mainly married him to "clean up" her image after all that lesbian talk started to reach every living organism? Can I get a "yes, Musto, you were right again, oh soothsayer prince?" Did I not say from the beginning—think back—that this was a sell-your-soul-music-to-the-devil setup designed to help careers and that codependency and enablement are what kept it going so freakin' long? There IS one thing I was wrong about, though. I always assumed it was skanky Bobby who dragged nice Whitney down the drug path with his evil ways, but according to him, she's the one who took HIM down the road of hard drug use and heavy self medicating. Well, as Whitney herself sang--or actually lipsynced--"Ho, say, can you see/By the bong's early light. . ."

READ
Page Six on Bobby's upcoming autobiography

Ellen Page Lesbianism Update: Why The Fuss?

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 2, 2008

My column this week goes into yet more sexuality talk about Juno star Ellen Page, so I’m bracing myself for the usual rounds of “How dare you?” and “Who cares?” In defense, let me once again get out the same rationales that I dug up when outing Methuselah and tell you why this sort of thing is OK. OK?

Firstly, a celebrity is a public figure whose life is regularly dissected by the media. By pursuing this high-profile profession and becoming a boldface name in the process, they’ve implicitly agreed to this kind of scrutiny (within the law and reason). I always find it amusing that no one ever complains when straight stuff comes out about them—you never hear, “How dare you say that male actor is dating that female actor? This is an outrageous invasion of privacy!” It’s only when the gay word comes up that people suddenly decide gossip is vulgar and irrelevant. But I personally feel that to gossip about every aspect of celebs’ lives EXCEPT the gay stuff is homophobic, hypocritical, and downright silly.

“But it hurts careers!” comes the inevitable response from the outraged. Well, I didn’t MAKE these people gay, I’m just saying they are. It’s up to them to come out or not, but it’s not up to ME to shut up about it. I’m not going to make homosexuality off limits because I might be tapping into the ethical failures of some bigots out there by speaking the truth. I don’t find homosexuality—or hints of it—distasteful at all and I’m not going to cater to those who do by shutting my trap on the subject. And if I should never say anything that might hurt a career, then maybe I should make a point of writing that Will Smith is white, Mel Brooks is young, and Norbit was a really good movie.

What’s more, Ellen Page—who may or may not be gay—is clearly playing along with all the speculation. She’s MAKING people talk by not giving definitive answers about her sexuality. She even did a sketch on Saturday Night Live that seemed to feed right into all the chit chat. By refusing to squawk, “How dare you! I am NOT a lesbian,” she’s letting us think that this kind of talk isn’t appalling to her at all. Even when her publicist called me, she never said, “She’s not a lesbian,” just “That was me with her at the Oscars” (though I hung up on her, so who knows what else she was going to say).

There’s even someone who’s gone on a lot of sites and shrieked that she knows who Ellen’s girlfriend is, even including the girlfriend’s supposed phone number. THAT’S going too far. I just need her address so I can send a wedding gift.

READ
This Week's La Dolce Musto: More Ellen Page Sexuality Talk

Jodie Fosters Her Secret Once Again

Posted by Michael Musto at 4:19 PM, March 17, 2008

The weirdest bit of closeting in years popped up in yesterday's Parade magazine profile of Jodie Foster. The piece by Dotson Rader bizarrely said, "Jodie has never admitted to any romantic involvements. When I ask why she has not yet fallen in love, she gets irritated and explains, perhaps disingenuously, 'My life is basically from the head up. . . I'm very analytical'." Huh? First of all, Jodie pretty much HAS admitted to a romantic involvement by thanking "my beautiful Cydney" at an event last year. Did Parade not get the memo? Secondly, why would they assume "she has not yet fallen in love"? That seems like willful ignorance, even if they somehow DIDN'T know about Cydney. Then, when Jodie gets uncomfortable with the question, you think maybe it's because she doesn't agree that she's never fallen in love. But it turns out she's going to go right along with it and say she's just too analytical to be romantic! Rader adds that this may be disingenuous, but his sudden burst of knowingness is too late at this point. Both interviewer and star have conspired to create a giant lie.

By the way, Jodie always explains away her reticence to discuss her love life by saying she won’t talk about ANYTHING private, like her kids. But in the interview, she goes on and on about them, blabbing about their sports, their bruises, her motherhood, blah blah blah. And once again her beautiful Cydney becomes invisible.

No More "Me and Mrs. Jones" for Al Reynolds

Posted by Michael Musto at 10:29 AM, March 11, 2008

Lost in all the Elliot Spitzer hoopla is yesterday's REAL bombshell: Star Jones and Al Reynolds are splitting after three and a half glorious years of connubial bliss! The response to this is basically one of "What the fuck took so long?" but it's also, "Could he possibly have lost interest the second she was booted off The View, only to get semi aroused again when she landed a cable contract, then see his fascination fade once again when THEY dumped her too?" A tabloid reports that Al had rented a condo in Miami (Gee, THAT'S not gay) and Star had started feeling he wasn't carrying his weight in the relationship. (No jokes, please.) The truth is, Star should have had Al liposucted off before this ever happened. The marriage that was supposed to catapult her career poetically ended up sinking it when the payola-scandal wedding caused her much international embarrassment. But unlike Star, I'm still in favor of gay marriage anyway!

Ellen Page Sexuality Update

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 29, 2008

After speculating about the tomboyish Ellen Page's sexuality, I got a call which I only picked up because the number on the Caller ID was similar to NBC's and I thought it was going to be a TV booking. Instead it was Kelly Bush—Page's publicist and manager—who sounded as if her cat had just gotten stuck in a drainpipe or something. My item had been picked up on Defamer, Bush said, and she wanted me to know that it was SHE who was with Page at the Oscars (though I had been sardonically wondering if it was a mother/girlfriend/whatever). She named a couple of other starlets who also had reps with them at the awards and said it's by no means an unusual practice. (Now I'll have to wonder if THEY'RE gay too.) "I don't know why people are so mean," Bush whinnied in a wounded voice. "It's not mean to wonder if someone's gay," I shrieked, outraged. "But to call her an 'Oscar loser'?" she moaned. "I didn't say that!" I yelped. "Maybe you're illiterate," I added, triumphantly slamming down the phone. Of course maybe I'M the dummy. I later realized I HAD called Page an "Oscar loser" in a short, sassy column item, also questioning her love life. Defamer had picked up the BLOG item, and I thought that's what we were talking about. In any case, I like Ellen Page, who's an appealing talent, so I nobly took "Oscar loser" off the web version faster than Juno gives away her baby. But I'm still livid that a publicist who would never normally call me for anything is so quick on the horn to do spin control whenever the L word comes up! And now, we're back to square zero anyway: IS she?

(Update on the update: I was just reminded that Bush is not only the woman who called Ellen DeGeneres's animal shelter with threats, she's a lesbian.)

Ellen Page: Is She or Isn't She?

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, February 27, 2008

I mean, come on already, is she??? You know, Lebanese! She certainly dresses like a, you know, tomboy. And if you google "Ellen Page boyfriend," not a whole lot comes up, except for a link to some interview where she refers to an old beau. And if you google "Ellen Page dating," you get the news that she dated Ben Foster, but then you get a followup saying she denies that ever happened. Who did she go to the Oscars with? I couldn't tell from the cropped shots of her, but it looked like she was maybe with her mother? For guys, that used to signify 100% gay, but for girls, it might just mean young and/or Canadian--or, um, gay. And then there was the web item saying "Ellen Page is an out lesbian," but for all I know the guy who ran that is the same douche who started the whole "Marcia Cross is coming out" campaign. Come on, people, help me out of this mess! Before I get stampeded by publicists shrieking, "This is an invasion of privacy!" (yeah, yeah, shut up, this is what I do), let's put the dykey pieces together. Is Juno a you know? And if so, which male will they quickly match her up with? Zac Efron?

In Praise of Clay Aiken

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 20, 2008

The holy word has come back from the Claymates and it is thus: "Miss Musto, why don't you write something NICE already about our beloved god of the pasty face and the ambiguous voice? Why don't you sing some praises to Clay Aiken, for Jesus's sake, instead of jealously cutting him down and pointing out his fruity absurdities?" And so I've heeded their darkest desires and trudged through the insides of my soul—yes, I have one—for some flattery I can heap upon the weird-haired big-bland singer who, after all, is human just like most of the rest of us. And all I could come up with is. . . he isn't Hitler! And he's never harmed an animal in my presence—not intentionally, anyway! And he's a registered Democrat!

So I need your help, children. I need you to step up to the plated teeth and announce what REALLY makes Clay so darned great—as a singer, a person, and an American Idol runner up. This is not a setup where I'm going to ensare you at your most vulnerable and then cut you down lower than Kelly Clarkson. I truly want to learn something here and maybe even become culturally enriched. So come on, kids, spill. "I love Clay Aiken because. . ."