'Hollywood Chinese' Documentary Won't Make You Hungry an Hour Later

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 25, 2008

Do you think Jackie Chan generally plays a chop-socky stereotype of a wisecracking, karate-chopping macho weirdo? Well, the good news is that's nothing new! Movies have long stereotyped Asians, generally pegging them as either inscrutable, evil, or stoic, and as villains, detectives, or whores. Arthur Dong's documentary Hollywood Chinese—opening here in May—beautifully captures the range of Hollywood's reflection of Asians, from Charlie Chan, who talked in fortune cookie aphorisms, to Susie Wong, the exotic prostie you ordered, with egg drop soup, from column B. Dong has assembled a top bunch of talking heads like Ang Lee, Nancy Kwan, and Amy Tan, who speak more with wry bemusement than with anger about Hollywood's cultural limitations. It's also stimulating to see Oscar winner Luise Rainer talking about how as a Causcasian playing an Asian in The Good Earth, she went for the inner truthfulness of the role rather than any outer verisimilitude, adding that today things are way too literal. Maybe, but as Dong shows clips of weirdly cast stars like John Wayne, Katharine Hepburn, and Walter Houston embarrassing themselves as Asians, you really long for the literalness.

Olsen Twin's Drug Legacy Continues!

Posted by Michael Musto at 8:45 AM, April 24, 2008

The days when Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen starred in cutesy flicks like How The West Was Fun are as over as era when Nicole Kidman had an expressive forehead. Nowadays, of course, Mary-Kate shows up on Weeds, playing "Tara, a devoted Christian girl who falls in with a family of drug-dealing suburbanites." And I just saw a screening of The Wackness, a cool little film about a young drug dealer in love, and while I'm not at liberty to reveal anything substantial about it just yet, let's just say that Mary-Kate's brief role might not be completely unrelated to narcotics. Of course, none of this means much since, as we know, it takes three instances of anything to create a real trend. And I'm not going to be so horribly low and crass as to mention anything about Heath Ledger here.

Grand Hotel: The Gramercy Makes it to the Tribeca Fest

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, April 18, 2008

The Gramercy Park Hotel was once as squalid and fabulous as the rest of New York. In fact, according to the synopsis for the documentary film Hotel Gramercy Park, it was "a drug-fueled haven for the likes of Bowie and Blondie." And so many other tempestuously fun good friends of mine. But a few years ago, hotelier Ian Schrager took the place over and made it upscale, with more art on the walls and fewer needles in the halls. The film—by Douglas Keeve, best known for the Mizrahi mirth-athon Unzipped—apparently views the hotel's transformation as a metaphor for all of New York. I agree—or at least I think I do. I have to wait to see the movie to see what I say. (Yes, I inevitably appear as a commentator, despite the fact that I've barely even been there. As Cindy Adams once wrote, "He's everywhere like crabgrass,") You can check it out too at one of four Tribeca Film Festival screenings starting Saturday April 26. Don't bring drugs.

XXY Marks the Spot: Intersex Cinema from South America

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 18, 2008

The Argentinian film XXY (opening May 2) is about a teen named Alex, who was born an intersex child with both male and female genitals. No, she doesn't grow up to star in Halloween. This is a serious film, so much so that it won the Grand Prize at the Cannes Festival's Critics Week and was the official Argentinian entry for the Oscar. To add to the complexity, the press release refers to Alex as a "she," while director Lucia Puenzo says, "After years of operations and taking hormones to become a man, Alex realizes he will never be merely a man or a woman." So I guess she becomes a he--or maybe she ALWAYS was a he. Confused? Not nearly as much as Alex is at the start of the film. By the way, Puenzo is an interesting offspring herself. She happens to be the daughter of Luis Puenzo, who did The Official Story. Yes, DAUGHTER.

Holm Sweet (Celeste) Holm at All About Eve Screening

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, April 14, 2008

"What are YOU doing on the PATH train?" asked a bemused commuter last Saturday, his jaw dropping to the spit-out gum on the floor. Well, believe it or not, I do venture out of Manhattan every few years—especially when there's a screening of All About Eve in the glorious Loews Jersey City Theater, featuring a live appearance by its only surviving star, Celeste Holm. I expected to be completely alone out there, only to find swarms of people—all kinds of people—lining up for the event and fastening their seatbelts for a night that made them pretty happy rabbits. After the film, 90-year-old Holm told her familiar story about the very first day of shooting. She said she approached Bette Davis to say "Good Morning," only to get the salty response, "Shit! Manners!" (Holm never spoke to Davis again unless she had to. I bet no one else did either.) At this point, the interviewer made a big point of saying he thought that as Eve, Anne Baxter was way too phony from the beginning and should have initially seemed more sympathetic. He tried to get Holm to agree that Baxter's acting sucked, but she absolutely wouldn't take the bait. (Shit! Manners!) Anyway, it was recently Bette's 100th birthday—God, she doesn't look it—and this event can be counted as part of the celebration, along with Broadway's A Catered Affair (Bette starred in the movie version) and the DVD release of the Granny Guignol shocker Hush. . . Hush, Sweet Charlotte. By the way, the special "making of" feature on that DVD includes ME! And Bruce Dern who DID talk to Davis on the Charlotte set, saying he couldn't believe she wanted to play herself in the romantic flashbacks with him. ("She was 60! I was 25!" relates Dern, eyes popping.) Well, Davis told him a thing or two and got her way, God love the bitch.

Could Barbra and Brolin Play a Married Couple? They Already Do!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 7, 2008

Barbra Streisand and Jim Brolin have outpaced all the naysayers and made their union last like butter. But shouldn't they act together already—I mean onscreen? Couldn't they emerge as a thesping team to equal the Lunts and the Burtons or at the very least the Afflecks? That's the dream of writer/director Gary Legault, whom I just caught up with at the New York Underground Film Festival, where he was premiering his East of the Tar Pits, starring Holly Woodlawn as a down-on-her-luck performer who's obsessed with Babs and goes on a pilgrimage to the superstar's old Malibu ranch. Legault told me he's written a script for the Streisands—I mean the Brolins—in which they would play a middle-aged married couple going through a rough patch, only to have their son suggest they go on a date and recapture the love that first drew them together. He's sent it to one of Barbra's three secretaries and I just know they'll find it a better idea than her other options—Meet The Fockers Again, Funny Middle-Aged Woman, and The Way We Were A Really Long Time Ago.

Drag Movie Rises Out of the Pits

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, April 3, 2008

Don't tell me this blog doesn't work magic! Two months ago, I ran a post about a movie I'd seen on DVD—Gary Legault's East of the Tarpits, starring drag icon Holly Woodlawn as a chanteuse who worships Streisand—and was outraged that in all its fruity glory, the film had been rejected by every single film festival in the world. I mean it's an "intoxicatingly funny Douglas Sirk-ian campathon" and there were no takers, not even at Cannes, which will show anything, even that Norah Jones flick! Well, someone from the illustrious New York Underground Film Festival read that item and instantly booked the kitchen-sink comedy for tonight at 1030pm at Anthology Film Archives (32 Second Avenue). They're promoting it so heavily they've even gotten someone very special to introduce it onstage—the same person who said it's an "intoxicatingly etc etc." You're reading him! See you there!

Wrinkle Queens Rejoice! Old People Are Lighting Up the Big Screen!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 3, 2008

While Hollywood gets more and more frantic in its search for Linoleum-like foreheads and other signs of eternal youth, documentary films are going in the opposite direction. They're obsessed with folks with one foot in the grave! And in celebrating their survival, their spirit, and the fact that one foot is still out on the pavement and working it. No less than three documentaries for gerontophiles are among us—and that's way more than enough for a New York Times trend piece (or a La Daily Musto blog item). First of all, Hats Off centers on 93-year-old actress and model Mimi Weddell and her indomitable style as she carries on and on. Coming up, Young@Heart deals with a bunch of 90-something retirees who sing in perfect harmony in between doctors' appointments. And also imminent, Surfwise is the story of legendary surfer "Doc" Paskowitz who may hang 10, but he IS 85. Some of these films might feel like extended versions of NY 1's "New Yorker of the Week" segment, but it's hard to knock anything that doesn't kick sand at old folks.

In a whole other entertainment trend, Madonna's "4 Minutes" song seems to have really started something. Opening any minute now is a prison-drama film of the very same name and there's also an Al Pacino flick coming out called 88 Minutes. I give this trend, I don't know, 15 minutes.

Forty Movies Worth Seeing Before Sex and the City Comes Out!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 27, 2008

As a raging film queen who will gladly suck in anything on celluloid from Greed to Norbit, I love a book that celebrates underappreciated films while providing tips on how to fill all those lonely nights without suggesting you give Sweet Smell of Success an 100th go-round. John DiLeo's "Screen Savers--40 Remarkable Films Awaiting Rediscovery" (Hansen Publishing Group) is just that kind of kooky collectible. Dealing in movies that have been "underseen, dismissed, or taken for granted," DiLeo trumpets dusty gems like Portrait of Jennie, the 1948 fantasy in which Jennifer Jones' lack of depth actually works ("because Jennie is a question mark, an apparition") and the '99 wartime buddy flick Three Kings ("a reverberating capper to the Gulf War and an alarming prelude to the disastrous Iraq War"). He also makes a strong case for Cover Girl ("It is not a great musical, but..."), Pretty Poison ("a startlingly funny, offbeat mix of smiles and chills"), and something called The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg ("Ramon Novarro's finest performance"!). His glaring omission of Howard the Duck will only disturb people who think of Psycho as a romantic comedy.

Lesbian Director Won't Say the L-Word!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, March 26, 2008

When Boys Don't Cry was released in '99, talented director Kimberly Peirce was an out lesbian who chatted with me about the absurdity of the Hollywood closet, though she later felt she may have gone too far with her remarks. Well, nine years later, she seems even more half hearted on that topic. Sunday's New York Times reported that Peirce—who directed the new Stop-Loss—"is conscientiously private. For all the good will she garnered in gay circles after Boys Don't Cry, Ms. Peirce demurs on the subject of her own sexuality, saying only that her partner is going to be a professor of gender sociology and Turkish literature in California." This doesn't exactly sound like she's gone back into the closet—"partner" pretty much signifies lesbian lover here, doesn't it?—but she may have become a little less eager to define herself as one of us. If so, Peirce's stopping is definitely our loss.

Mamma Mia Trailers: ABBA Dabba Do

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 20, 2008

On Broadway, Mamma Mia is a fairly cheesy, lightweight jukebox musical which opened to raves that were mystifying—until you realized 9/11 had just happened and people were anxious for ANY piece of entertainment to lead us out of the smoky gloom. Carrie the Musical would have even gotten good reviews at that point! But seven years later, the screen version acquires some gravitas of its own by featuring the immortal Meryl Streep in the lead role, along with Oscar nominee Julie Walters and Tony winner Christine Baranski. This might not exactly be shaping up as the No Country for Old Men of this year, but at the very least it's guaranteed a couple of Golden Globe nominations, right? Well, maybe. Let's glance at the latest trailers for the film and decide for ourselves whether this will enhance our minds or rot our teeth. From what I can tell, this isn’t geared to the Mensa set. As large letters announce “EVERY GIRL HAS A DREAM,” a voiceover articulates the very same words in case you didn’t get it. Worse, this seems to be another promo campaign designed to throw you off the scent that it’s a musical. Yes, you hear songs and see lots of dancing, but you never see anyone actually singing—an act which, I would imagine, happens a lot in the film itself. But let’s not judge. Let’s sit back in our shiny bellbottoms and “see that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen.”

Mamma Mia: The Movie

Vinny Vidi Pizza!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, March 19, 2008

photo from opening night by Camille Dodero

The ebullient Vinny Vella is a familiar character face from The Sopranos, Casino, Analyze That, and 41 other movies, as well as being the unofficial mayor of Elizabeth Street. He was also a regular on New York Central, the Metro channel show I cohosted in 2000, which I fondly remember for his constantly begging me to go to his friend's salumeria on Arthur Avenue with a big shopping bag and fill it to the rim with cheese and salamis. (I declined, not because I'm not a whore, but because I'm a whore on a diet.) Well, Vinnie tells me we have a whole new place to pig out at, namely his own pizzeria/restaurant! It's in Williamsburg, Brooklyn at 374 Metropolitan Avenue, and not only am I bringing a bag to fill up, I'm taking a pink ribbon made of spumoni to give Vinnie for bringing some realness back to Billyburg. Now, when I drag my ass out there to be dissed by affected gays with bad hair, at least I can nab some mozzarella cheese and garlic knots on the way home.

Drag Rock Movie Hits Tribeca Festival in a Whoosh of Mascara

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 18, 2008

Mama's gonna be in the Tribeca Film Festival again! I play a small role in SqueezeBox!, the documentary about the hawt drag rock club that livened up the trannie-sitional '90s, though I imagine more screen time will be filled with names like the Toilet Boys, Sherry Vine, Debbie Harry, and John Cameron Mitchell. The official synopsis of the film—which will have five Tribeca screenings starting on April 25—tells you why we care: "During the turbulent reign of Giuliani in the '90s, when Times Square was being sold to Disney and sex clubs were shuttered in favor of fast food chains, there was a brief shining moment when drag queens rocked New York nightlife. The epicenter of that moment was SqueezeBox, a weekly pansexual rock and roll party at Don Hill's. Started as a refuge for gay rock and rollers who felt like outsiders in both the gay and rock worlds, the party grew to become the seminal event in nightlife history."

A few questions: "The seminal event in nightlife history?" Are the drugs still kicking in? More importantly, when will all the other club docs I was interviewed for find an audience (Jackie 60, Motherfucker, the Roxy, the Saint, etc)? And finally, since when did sex clubs and fast food chains become two separate things?

www.myspace.com/thesqueezeboxmovie

Gay Hos Hit the Screen in Chelsea

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:19 PM, March 13, 2008

When a movie's official synopsis describes the plot as being about "a relationship between a playboy and a prostitute," I'm there, honey. And when it turns out it's not the Elliot Spitzer story—these are gay male characters—it's even more up my dark alley. The film is the romantic comedy A Four Letter Word (which probably refers to love, though it could also be fuck, cash, or meth), and it will premiere March 28 at the Chelsea Clairview Cinemas, as Out magazine contributor Jesse Archer—who plays Luke—tells me.

What kind of a guy is Luke? Well, going back to that synopsis, "Awakening in a twisted heap of naked strangers, Luke heads to work at a Chelsea sex shop, where he is forced to face his lifestyle by co-worker Zeke, a confrontational gay crusader..." Stop right there. I've just booked the entire front three rows.

Unasked-For Comments About New Movies

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 7, 2008

Ira Sachs's Married Life

Don't listen to me about movies, people. I know absolutely nothing about them! In fact, I recently walked out of the boring small-town divorce drama Snow Angels, then looked it up on rottentomatoes.com and found it's gotten 90% raves! And I just read a perfectly nice review of Married Life, but I have to say THAT film—a pseudo-droll bit of marital mayhem—combines almost every narrative device that makes me crazy: Too much narration ("It's funny, isn't it? What you do for love?"); stick-figure characters; someone entering just when two people are in a clutch they're not supposed to be in; very sloooowly spoken utterances, never overlapping; characters calling each other by their names every time they speak ("Harry, they're all over the place" "I'll burn them tomorrow morning, Kay"); and lots of emissions stating the banal. ("That must be the paper delivery. I'll go down and get it for you, Pat"). Even if all of those devices were intentional and sardonic, I feel they deeply let me down with their desperate dullness. But again, go and enjoy! I know nothing, Pat, Harry, and Kay!

Winona Ryder Insists on Showing Her Puppies!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, March 4, 2008

The ever adorable Winona Ryder stole on the set of the upcoming Sex and Death 101—everyone's hearts, that is! Through nudity! (Awww.) According to writer/director Daniel Waters, "Even I was a little shocked when Winona insisted on rehearsing her love scene topless. Who was I to protest?. . .Winona was classically undisturbed, making Mrs Roper-like cracks about how she hadn't been on a date for 11 months. Laughing at the wit of a beautiful, charming, and unclothed actress while maintaining eye contact is something they don't teach you at Project Greenlight. I thought I was going to have to pass out neck braces to the crew." A straight crew? What kind of a sick movie IS this? In any case, someone should BUY Winona something to wear already! At Marc Jacobs!

Ellen Page Sexuality Update

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 29, 2008

After speculating about the tomboyish Ellen Page's sexuality, I got a call which I only picked up because the number on the Caller ID was similar to NBC's and I thought it was going to be a TV booking. Instead it was Kelly Bush—Page's publicist and manager—who sounded as if her cat had just gotten stuck in a drainpipe or something. My item had been picked up on Defamer, Bush said, and she wanted me to know that it was SHE who was with Page at the Oscars (though I had been sardonically wondering if it was a mother/girlfriend/whatever). She named a couple of other starlets who also had reps with them at the awards and said it's by no means an unusual practice. (Now I'll have to wonder if THEY'RE gay too.) "I don't know why people are so mean," Bush whinnied in a wounded voice. "It's not mean to wonder if someone's gay," I shrieked, outraged. "But to call her an 'Oscar loser'?" she moaned. "I didn't say that!" I yelped. "Maybe you're illiterate," I added, triumphantly slamming down the phone. Of course maybe I'M the dummy. I later realized I HAD called Page an "Oscar loser" in a short, sassy column item, also questioning her love life. Defamer had picked up the BLOG item, and I thought that's what we were talking about. In any case, I like Ellen Page, who's an appealing talent, so I nobly took "Oscar loser" off the web version faster than Juno gives away her baby. But I'm still livid that a publicist who would never normally call me for anything is so quick on the horn to do spin control whenever the L word comes up! And now, we're back to square zero anyway: IS she?

(Update on the update: I was just reminded that Bush is not only the woman who called Ellen DeGeneres's animal shelter with threats, she's a lesbian.)

Ellen Page: Is She or Isn't She?

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, February 27, 2008

I mean, come on already, is she??? You know, Lebanese! She certainly dresses like a, you know, tomboy. And if you google "Ellen Page boyfriend," not a whole lot comes up, except for a link to some interview where she refers to an old beau. And if you google "Ellen Page dating," you get the news that she dated Ben Foster, but then you get a followup saying she denies that ever happened. Who did she go to the Oscars with? I couldn't tell from the cropped shots of her, but it looked like she was maybe with her mother? For guys, that used to signify 100% gay, but for girls, it might just mean young and/or Canadian--or, um, gay. And then there was the web item saying "Ellen Page is an out lesbian," but for all I know the guy who ran that is the same douche who started the whole "Marcia Cross is coming out" campaign. Come on, people, help me out of this mess! Before I get stampeded by publicists shrieking, "This is an invasion of privacy!" (yeah, yeah, shut up, this is what I do), let's put the dykey pieces together. Is Juno a you know? And if so, which male will they quickly match her up with? Zac Efron?

The Oscars Cut the Gay Stuff! But Now it's Back!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 27, 2008

It was a lovely moment on the Oscars—a/k/a the Gay Super Bowl—when No Country for Old Men producer Scott Rudin thanked his lover John Barlow (from the Broadway p.r. company Barlow Hartman) and referred to him as "honey." Well, honey, in the official transcript of the speech, that part was mysteriously left out! They didn't even make Rudin straight—they turned him into some kind of bizarre neuter without any human feeling (which they'd already tried to do by not cutting to a reaction shot of a beaming Barlow)! Well, thanks to some prodding by goodasyou.org, the axed comments were restored to the transcript, and we can all sleep much easier now. Of course we'll never know if the omission was done out of ignorance, hatred, ineptitude, or (let's be generous) a broken keyboard.

In this week's Voice:
La Dolce Musto, "Ellen Page's Sexuality! Jennifer Garner's Hairdo!"

Oscar Mania Strikes! Let's Regroup and Discuss

Posted by Michael Musto at 8:00 AM, February 22, 2008

I live for the gay Super Bowl known as the Oscars and always go against the popular waves of feeling in my reaction to everything on the telecast. When the media was crucifying Cher, Bjork, and Geena Davis for supposed fashion crimes, I was raving about how adorable they looked while searching around for cheap swan knockoffs. I even liked Celine thumping her heart through the BACK of that jacket. The Oscars are a bad-taste idea to begin with—pitting actors against each other merely because they were good—but then if someone wears something a little colorful or left of center, they're strangely attacked for not being tasteful enough! Absurd. More troubling is the way the winners get vilified on the rare occasions when they're actually honest. Sally Field's legendary "You like me!" speech was simply a case of someone saying what she felt—that she didn't know if she'd been truly validated by her peers before, but now she felt it and it was wonderful. "Die, Sally!" came the callback. "How dare you admit you need us even though we spent the whole year and shitloads of money preparing for this crazy event?" Sally's speech was far preferable to that of later winner Julia Roberts, whose cutesy effusiveness seemed SOOO calculated and rehearsed (She'd won every other award before that. How could Jules have been that surprised?) and Halle Berry, who was elaborately teary and self-congratulatory even as she pretended to be acknowledging a host of other people. Oh, by the way, let's put an end to those laundry list speeches, where everyone who's ever lent the star a cracker or some Vaseline gets thanked (you know, "William Morris, mom, God, Billy Ray Cyrus..."). Supposedly this year's nominees are being coached to avoid that sort of thing and say something meaningful instead. Now THAT'LL involve some award caliber acting.

Dykes, Drunks, and Divas in Fabulous '60s Chick Flick!

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, February 13, 2008

Sidney Lumet has always specialized in tough movies with brooding, hairy males, but he did do one flick about some lovely chick bonding—The Group, the 1966 melodrama based on Mary McCarthy’s novel about college grads and their problems with brooding, hairy males. The film will always be remembered for Larry Hagman’s parting line to Candice Bergen, “I never picked you for a sappho—or to put it crudely, a lesbo!” (Well, if Hagman’s character is an example of available maleness, it’s no wonder Candice went for the carpet.) Film Forum was packed with ALL types last night for a Lumet-festival showing of the flick, followed by a q&a with two of its best loved stars, Shirley Knight and Jessica Walter. “Maybe we were the precursor to Sex and the City,” Walter said in remembering the movie (in which, she admitted, she was desperate to play the Candice Bergen lesbo part). She and Knight spoke fondly about their castmates, including the late Elizabeth Hartman (“She was a little, fragile thing who smoked Camel cigarettes”), Kathleen Widdoes (“She birthed my baby. She pulled her out of me in a car,” said Knight), and Mary-Robin Redd (“She’s married and living in a big house in Beverly Hills,” offered Knight, but Walter corrected, “She’s not married—but she IS in a big house”). The movie? It’s gorgeous, talky, absorbing, and well acted by these incipient stars and lesbos. Walter felt, “It holds up. I only thought it was a little long.”

Director Takes a Bite Out of Mike Tyson

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, January 31, 2008

No one knows Mike Tyson—or wants to know Mike Tyson—as well as director James Toback (When Will I Be Loved, The Pick-Up Artist), who's completing a documentary about the tempestuous boxer. So what's the scary guy like? "He's a great guy," Toback told me at an event last night. "He's linguistically very gifted, although malaprops sneak in there from time to time. There's no line between what he's thinking and what's being expressed. No guile and manipulation." I guess when he bites your ear off, he does it without any silly game playing! The film will apparently be just as direct and informational. "It's all in there," said Toback. "The ear biting, the rape charge, which was indeed a setup, and the solitary confinement. Mike's survived, but he's not sure into what future. He talks about being 40 as if it were 105 because a lot of people around him are drugged out or dead. Where does he go now?" Obvious answer: A reality show!

Backstreet Boys Movie: Ain't Nothing But a Mistake

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, January 28, 2008

Finally, the Jeanne Tanzy Williams story is ready to made into a movie! Jeanne Tanzy what? Well, the lady says that as the manager of young A.J. McLean, she was instrumental in launching the Backstreet Boys along with sleazebucket Louis J. Pearlman, so she's going Hollywood with her torrid tale. "It's current working title," she blogs, "is The Williams/Pearlman Story." Can't miss with a blockbuster title like that! Williams wants the inevitable Philip Seymour Hoffman to play Pearlman and she's currently looking for performers to play the roles of the Boys, 'N Sync, LFO, O-Town, and Innocence—but mainly she's looking for investors.

Who You Calling a SAG?

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, January 28, 2008

What was your favorite part of last night's SAG awards? Daniel Day-Lewis's drippy Heath Ledger speech or Julie Christie's witchy and wanton Alzheimer's joke? Don't answer! Julie wins by a landslide! But since her speech had a rah-rah Writer's Guild bent to it, Jules probably shouldn't have neglected to thank the woman who wrote the short story Away From Her was based on. Her name is Alice Munro and don't you, um, forget it! But wait a minute! I have a whole new favorite moment from the SAG awards! The Weeds clip of drug seller Mary Louise Parker telling Mary-Kate Olsen, "You realize you're doing something illegal!"

Oscar to Sicko: The Moore The Merrier

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:30 AM, January 25, 2008

Michael Moore's Sicko has been nominated for a Best Documentary Oscar—no booing this time—so Harvey Weinstein threw a gala lunch at the Four Seasons, where he and the filmmaker fell over each other with so much mutual mwah-ing they might need more health insurance. But Moore admitted they hit a tiny road bump when he wanted the film to include the fact that "Hillary was the number one recipient of the health care money." "I tried to cut it out," Weinstein the diplomat called out from his table. "He made his case," said Moore, who totally won. Still, the freedom fighter graciously conceded that Hill's basically a nice lady, remembering, "I wrote a chapter in my first book called 'My Forbidden Love for Hillary'." When the crowd went giggly over that, Moore looked puzzled and said, "Why does that keep getting laughs? I'm being sincere." Yeah, but not enough to endorse the broad--or anyone else; I'll have more in the column.

Take My Wife, Please: Nepotism and Hollywood

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, January 18, 2008

Let us all gather ‘round (and bring your spouses, by the way) and praise nepotism. Last year was truly a golden age for it in Hollywood. You’ll remember that Leslie Mann (Judd Apatow’s wife) landed a plum role in his Knocked Up; Helena Bonham Carter (Tim Burton’s lady) nailed the coveted role of Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd, supposedly to composer Sondheim’s delight; and Jennifer Jason Leigh (Noah Baumbach’s wife) somehow seemed perfectly suited to a key part in Margot at the Wedding. But guess what? None of these ladies embarrassed themselves and some people—even some not related to them—would say they soared. Mann—who I detested ever since her publicist once strangely had me sign something saying I couldn’t talk about her on TV—was delightful in a Judy Hollidayesque way. Carter, while hardly Maria Callas, had some fun with her role, serving up lots of eye makeup and eye rolling. And Jason Leigh was brilliant as usual in a film that should not have been spat upon so heavily. So attention, auteurs. Hire your wives! Come on, Don Gummer. Use Meryl as a sculpting subject!

The Latest Celebrity Mel-Down: Mel Brooks Hates Ben Brantley!

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, January 14, 2008

Mel Gibson hates Jews, but Mel Brooks hates Ben Brantley! At a New York Times Arts & Leisure week panel last night, ironically enough, the Young Frankenstein inventor spent most of his time onstage screeching about how the Times critic should be whipped with a Borscht belt, even talking over his fellow panelists like Roger Bart and Susan Stroman to make that monstrous assertion. The 2000 year old man—I mean the CREATOR of the 2000 Year Old Man—attacked Brantley for mentioning YF's select bunch of $450 tickets (Mel feels that point has been irresponsibly blown up), for writing that he only laughed three times ("I happen to know there are four big laughs," nyuck nyuck), for claiming the songs sounded too similar ("That shows a profound ignorance. . ." etc., etc.), and for not kissing his ass (“I deserve a salute!”). I found the old Jew endearing, in a semi-insufferable sort of way—which is more than Mel Gibson would think of him—and I will have more to say about it in the column, if he'll let me get a word in edgewise.