Gay Pride in Fort Lauderdale Is Not an Oxymoron

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:30 PM, May 7, 2008

photo from 2004 Stonewall Street Festival

Once the gays stopped going to South Beach, it became necessary for tropical-shirted homos to schlepp all the way to Fort Lauderdale for an occasional gathering of fruitcakes. So why not celebrate Gay Pride there? Can you bear to miss New York's Pride parade with its gogo boys, faded dance stars, and showboating politicians, not to mention the moment of silence for AIDS (which my friend always talks through)? No, you can't—but you weren't going to go anyway. So head to Lauderdale, hon. It's warm and festive and very inviting. In fact, they want you there so badly they've even sent me a press release BEGGING you to come. (So much for pride.)

Click below for the release.

CELEBRATE GAY PRIDE IN GREATER FORT LAUDERDALE

First Ever Nighttime Pride Parade and Street Party in Wilton Manors
Highlight 9th Annual Fort Lauderdale Stonewall Street Festival

Join locals and gay travelers at the 9th Annual Fort Lauderdale Stonewall
Street Festival, a week-long Gay Pride celebration from June 16 to June 22
featuring lively events, grand performances and a vibrant new parade. Highlights
of the Pride festival include the first annual night parade and street party in
the popular 'gayborhood' of Wilton Manors, as well as the annual street
festival and exhibition.

The new night parade and street party are an exciting addition to the
already spectacular Pride celebration. The events on Saturday, June 21
start off with a special t-dance at Rosie's Bar & Grill at 3 pm followed
by DJ Joe Bermudez mixing up tunes on Wilton Drive at 7 pm, as dusk
approaches. The parade kicks off at 8 pm with colorful floats, and the
participation of local businesses and GLBT organizations. Singing
sensation Tammy Wright will perform hit songs while revelers dance the
night away.

Greater Fort Lauderdale serves up a multitude of comfortable gay-owned
establishments. Wilton Manors, located just north of downtown Fort
Lauderdale and minutes from the beach, is a bustling hotspot for
residents and visitors offering several dining, nightlife and shopping
options including Georgie's Alibi, Galanga Thai Kitchen & Sushi Bar and
New Moon. "We are thrilled that our Pride celebration continues to grow
each year," said Richard Gray, proprietor of the Royal Palms Resort and
gay liaison to the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention & Visitors Bureau.

Greater Fort Lauderdale is more than a gay-friendly city; it has over
150 gay-owned, hospitality-related establishments including hotels,
bars, clubs and restaurants, as well as three gay and lesbian
publications. According to statistics, the American gay and lesbian
community drives an impressive $65 billion travel industry. Last year,
gay visitors contributed some $1.2 billion to Greater Fort Lauderdale's
economy.

What Drunken Gays' Lies Really Mean

Posted by Michael Musto at 1:00 PM, April 25, 2008

Go to a gay bar at 2 a.m. and you'll be swathed in self serving lies and cuckoo delusions, all spewing at you with unspeakably boozy breath. As someone who's been there—every single night of my adult life—let me decode some of the b.s. for you:

"I'm sober" generally means "I've been doing so many drugs for so long it feels totally natural to me."

"I'm not on manhunt" means "I'm not on manhunt right at this moment."

"I'm a top" mean "I'm a bottom."

"I dated Chace Crawford" means "I dated a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who waited on Chace Crawford at a Chucky Cheese."

"I've always been bisexual" means "In high school, I had a fake girlfriend, but the story fell apart when everyone realized she was my sister."

and. . .

"I dumped my last boyfriend. We had grown apart and I was so bored with him" means "He took out a restraining order."

Which Stars Have Shattered Glass and Come Out?

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, April 16, 2008

Illustration from the Out piece by Julien Pacaud

In the new issue of Out magazine, I have a story called "Shattered Glass," about how the celebrity closet has changed since my 2007 Out cover story on "The Glass Closet"—you know, stars' tricky way of living gay lives without actually coming out on the record. The new piece covers the subtle shifts that have happened since then, which I can very gaily summarize like so:

David Hyde Pierce came out in a very quiet way soon after the "Glass Closet" piece, um, came out. (Yeah, I'll take credit.) But then he got REALLY quiet—there's not been a word since. (Don't blame me.)

Neil Patrick Harris and TR Knight are still out, still successful, and still happy. Hooha!

Ditto for fellow TV stars John Barrowman and Bryan Batt, both of whom came out simply because they wanted to—not because of internet chatter or screaming fights with bigots!

But on another channel, Anderson Cooper is still publicly ambiguous. And still cute.

And bigtime movie star Jodie Foster? Well, after getting us inordinately excited by thanking "my beautiful Cydney" at a luncheon last December, she's now more closeted than ever. Glass has practically turned to stone. Clearly Jodie left her honesty somewhere on Nim's Island.

Who would YOU like to see come out? (Or go back in.)

READ
"Shattered Glass" by Micheal Musto

Gay Basketball Players Don't Slam Dunk Each Other's Privates

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:31 PM, March 31, 2008

I passed by the testosterone-laden bar the Eagle with a friend and sensed that something fetishy was going on there, so in we ran, only to find a bunch of tall guys standing around in jerseys and shorts. It turned out to be a benefit for the NYC Gay Basketball League! And though the event was called a "NY Warriors Jockstrap Fundraiser," I didn't see any jockstraps, just a couple of hot African American athletes walking around shirtless and flaunting their tats. I cornered one of the Warriors to ask the all-important question: What's it like in the locker room? "We're the meanest team ever," he admitted. "We're mean and bitchy. Even when we lose, we pretend we won. So believe me, there's no sexual tension at all in that locker room." Damn! What a waste of black cock!

What the Butler Saw: How Gay is Xanadu!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 26, 2008

Kerry Butler, the one on the left

As I mentioned in the column, I finally met Kerry Butler, the winning star of Broadway's nutty Xanadu, and she told me she LOVES it when she looks out into the audience and spots a lot of gays. "I think, 'Yay! it's gay night!'," Kerry exulted with a glinty smile. Of course the show has official Boys Nights, promotional events whereby they BEG for decorators from Hell's Kitchen to fill the seats. And Kerry simply adores that too. As she told me, "I wish every night was gay night!" Honey, over at Gypsy, it IS.

Expose Yourself at the Annual Gay Expo

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, March 24, 2008

Don't you love it when gays and commerce come together, and it's not because of a drug deal? Well, then, get ready for the 15th original GLBT Expo, coming to the Javits Center for a tres-gay weekend on April 5 and 6th. What do you get for your $15? Some crystal? A hustler? A share in the Pines? Nope--but you will find all kinds of informational booths about gay weddings, travel destinations, and LGBT publications, as well as medical seminars and performances by people from Josh Zuckerman to France Joli. (Her "Come To Me" seems like a bigger hit now than when it came out. It's one of the most durable disco tunes ever made--way more than anything by Lipps Inc. or KC and the Sunshine Band. But don't get me started. I could go on forever about important gay topics like this.) So come to the Gay Expo, old chum. Put your dollar where your mouth is.


Tickets can be purchased on-line at www.originalglbtexpo.com or at the Expo.

Grin and Bear It: Living Large with The Gays

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, March 21, 2008

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. . .and bears gotta drive all the way up to Rye! Yes, it's almost time for the Bear Trek (aka the International Bear Jamboree)—not for polar bears who've been forced off their melting ice caps, mind you, but for hairy, pudgy gays (and bears at heart) who revel in a decided lack of depilatories and stomach crunches, preferring to revel in their natural masculinity. Are you man enough? Are you fat enough? Are you ready for four days of folk music, brunching, and chubby chasing? I am! I'd rather be with stern bears than with anyone from Bear Stearns right now.

http://www.bear-trek.com/

Stalker Alert: I'll Be At Splash Tonight!

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:30 PM, March 19, 2008

Peppermint, the host of "Faggot Feud" at Splash

Want me to tell you about all the dazzling premieres and Broadway openings I'm going to so you can show up to throw flowers at my feet and bask in my surreal glow? OK, deal--except there AIN'T none of that shit happening this week. Because of Easter or something like that, there is absolutely nothing going on, as we all sit home and silently wait for the resurrection (of nightlife, that is). But tonight, I AM appearing in a very special edition of "Faggot Feud" at Splash (50 W. 17 Street) sometime around 9 PM, and that will just have to do. Drag star Peppermint hosts the wacky, boozy game show, and I'll be teamed with club regulars Chuck Attix, Ian Benardo, and Maverick Cook, as we guess the answers to all sorts of queer-ies about gay things from Poppers to Palm Springs. Come and blow kisses like Richard Dawson or pig out on bar nuts like Louie Anderson or kill yourself like Ray Combs. Come on, come and give me a hug--or better yet, give me an answer.

Drag Rock Movie Hits Tribeca Festival in a Whoosh of Mascara

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 18, 2008

Mama's gonna be in the Tribeca Film Festival again! I play a small role in SqueezeBox!, the documentary about the hawt drag rock club that livened up the trannie-sitional '90s, though I imagine more screen time will be filled with names like the Toilet Boys, Sherry Vine, Debbie Harry, and John Cameron Mitchell. The official synopsis of the film—which will have five Tribeca screenings starting on April 25—tells you why we care: "During the turbulent reign of Giuliani in the '90s, when Times Square was being sold to Disney and sex clubs were shuttered in favor of fast food chains, there was a brief shining moment when drag queens rocked New York nightlife. The epicenter of that moment was SqueezeBox, a weekly pansexual rock and roll party at Don Hill's. Started as a refuge for gay rock and rollers who felt like outsiders in both the gay and rock worlds, the party grew to become the seminal event in nightlife history."

A few questions: "The seminal event in nightlife history?" Are the drugs still kicking in? More importantly, when will all the other club docs I was interviewed for find an audience (Jackie 60, Motherfucker, the Roxy, the Saint, etc)? And finally, since when did sex clubs and fast food chains become two separate things?

www.myspace.com/thesqueezeboxmovie

Gotham Gay Bars 101—Listen Up, Class

Posted by Michael Musto at 1:42 PM, March 6, 2008

If you want to know the history of gay bars in New York, just ask ME, honey. I was there when the first bottle of Poppers was inhaled back at the Garden of Eden, where the snake wore a really fierce headband and danced around to "Lady Bump" while trying to log on to manhunt. But after that, it's all kind of a blur, and the truth is that if you remember Studio 54, then you weren't actually there. (And that wasn't really a gay bar anyway. It was 5% straight and/or closeted.) So let's instead rely on this lovely link to a site that painstakingly details the history of gay bars in NYC from 1900 to the present, even though they've stolen the site name I was just going to trademark—bitterqueen! While you read it, please wear a leather harness and swish around to Doris Day music, then pretend a butch policeman is raiding your apartment and locking you up for some REAL gay nightlife. Then head out to Barracuda and pretend it's 54.

CLICK
http://www.bitterqueen.typepad.com/

Gay TV Czar Loses Court Case and Has to Eat Shit!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, February 27, 2008

QTV was a struggling L.A.-based gay channel that fizzled in '06 while owing tons of people (myself included) a lot of gay dollars. So it was gratifying yesterday when I got word that Frank Olsen, the "fat fuck" and President/CEO who apparently helped run QTV into the ground, lost a court judgement saying he needs to shell out $2.2 million bucks including penalties for all those stiffed salaries. Of all the bittersweet hallellujahs being mass-e-mailed back and forth as a result of the decision, this one's the juiciest:

"My name is Steven Grunberg. I am the poor schmuck that created Q Television for Olsen back in 2004. I put it all together, programmed it, scheduled it...I got knifed in the back in 2005 and was thrown out of my network. Olsen owes me thousands of dollars. Although I am not part of your victory, I want to make sure you fuck Olsen in every possible way. He belongs in jail. He is a thief, liar, swindler, embezzler, and has destroyed many lives including my own. . .I live in Cathedral City about 5 miles away from Olsen and I am surrounded here by his cronies and bastards that have done me wrong. Olsen almost killed me and has damaged my health beyond recovery. I was his favorite whipping boy because he could never take credit for creating Q Television. Bitter? Hell yes! If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Congratulations! --Steven"

Yes, Steven, there IS one thing you can do: Get me my $2500!

The Oscars Cut the Gay Stuff! But Now it's Back!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 27, 2008

It was a lovely moment on the Oscars—a/k/a the Gay Super Bowl—when No Country for Old Men producer Scott Rudin thanked his lover John Barlow (from the Broadway p.r. company Barlow Hartman) and referred to him as "honey." Well, honey, in the official transcript of the speech, that part was mysteriously left out! They didn't even make Rudin straight—they turned him into some kind of bizarre neuter without any human feeling (which they'd already tried to do by not cutting to a reaction shot of a beaming Barlow)! Well, thanks to some prodding by goodasyou.org, the axed comments were restored to the transcript, and we can all sleep much easier now. Of course we'll never know if the omission was done out of ignorance, hatred, ineptitude, or (let's be generous) a broken keyboard.

In this week's Voice:
La Dolce Musto, "Ellen Page's Sexuality! Jennifer Garner's Hairdo!"

Gay Nightlife Update. . .

Posted by Michael Musto at 5:00 PM, February 25, 2008

Promoter Josh Wood has launched Sundays at the Cuban-flavored (and formerly hepatitis-tinged) Socialista, where gym gays stand around and ogle each other's pecs in the semi darkness. Drew Zailen and Akash Abraham have started Thursdays at Ultra, where some outer borough queens plus one big guy in a zebra print jacket flit around trying to uplift themselves through boozing and cruising. Butch Cordora is coming in from Philly to do "Bluffin' with Butch" poker events Wednesdays at Splash, starting March 5. (No, they're not strip poker events—not yet, anyway.) And the sleek club Touch is launching Solarium Tuesdays that hope to bring the gays back to the Broadway district. As if Xanadu didn't already do that!