Musto's on Vacation

Posted at 1:07 PM, April 28, 2008

Musto is on vacation this week. He may or may not pop in here unexpectedly, but don't expect regular updates until next Monday, May 5. Can't make it through the night without his Baby Mama caca jokes and Clay Aiken baiting posts? There's always Musto in his underwear!

Ellen Page Sexuality Update

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 29, 2008

After speculating about the tomboyish Ellen Page's sexuality, I got a call which I only picked up because the number on the Caller ID was similar to NBC's and I thought it was going to be a TV booking. Instead it was Kelly Bush—Page's publicist and manager—who sounded as if her cat had just gotten stuck in a drainpipe or something. My item had been picked up on Defamer, Bush said, and she wanted me to know that it was SHE who was with Page at the Oscars (though I had been sardonically wondering if it was a mother/girlfriend/whatever). She named a couple of other starlets who also had reps with them at the awards and said it's by no means an unusual practice. (Now I'll have to wonder if THEY'RE gay too.) "I don't know why people are so mean," Bush whinnied in a wounded voice. "It's not mean to wonder if someone's gay," I shrieked, outraged. "But to call her an 'Oscar loser'?" she moaned. "I didn't say that!" I yelped. "Maybe you're illiterate," I added, triumphantly slamming down the phone. Of course maybe I'M the dummy. I later realized I HAD called Page an "Oscar loser" in a short, sassy column item, also questioning her love life. Defamer had picked up the BLOG item, and I thought that's what we were talking about. In any case, I like Ellen Page, who's an appealing talent, so I nobly took "Oscar loser" off the web version faster than Juno gives away her baby. But I'm still livid that a publicist who would never normally call me for anything is so quick on the horn to do spin control whenever the L word comes up! And now, we're back to square zero anyway: IS she?

(Update on the update: I was just reminded that Bush is not only the woman who called Ellen DeGeneres's animal shelter with threats, she's a lesbian.)

Viva (Kristian) Laliberte?

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:04 PM, January 15, 2008

What is a Kristian Laliberte? Easy. He's the namedropping publicist gawker.com likes to pop the pretensions of, though he seems nice enough, even when saying stuff like "I just talked to Tinsley!" He also just told me he was recently mugged by some creepy guy who made off with his wallet but not, thankfully, his gift bag or beauty products. Now, Kristian soldiers on with a wallet that says, in big letters, "Don't steal this wallet." Are you listening, Tins?

Blind Item Comedy Payola Shocker: Graft Isn't Funny

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, January 14, 2008

For six whole weeks, a local comedy group has sent me (and I presume other press people) a getting-to-know-you gift every single day in hopes of grubbing some media notice. I'm talking 30 freakin' gifts! That's more than Christina Crawford had to give to children less privileged than herself every Christmas! As a result, my trash pail is now filled with mints, a tie, lube, headache pills, Vaseline, and a "What would Jesus do?" keychain, though I did keep the box of chocolates, belch. Well, if anyone from the group happens to be reading this instead of scouring the shelves at Walgreens, why don't you guys stop throwing money away and instead send $100 to a known AIDS charity and prove to me that you actually did? If so, I will finally give you the mention you so crave, and though it won't necessarily be a nice one and it will only be in the blog, not in the paper, you'll still be wetting your knickers over it.

If you're NOT reading this, fuck you, nyah nyah.