Separated at Birth: Christine Baranski and Edna "E" Mode

Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, May 9, 2008

Christine Baranski as the tart-tongued maid in Broadway's Boeing Boeing and stern yet fashionable Edna "E" Mode in The Incredibles. Discuss.

Britney Goes Off-Broadway Where She Belongs

Posted by Michael Musto at 1:50 PM, May 6, 2008

Jenn Harris as Britney.

Britney Spears' life would surely make for a fabulous Greek tragedy—even though HER idea of one is a Greek salad with too much feta cheese—but can the pop tart's bizarre plight constitute a tragiCOMEDY? Maybe, if the facts are altered a little bit for a more dramatically pleasing arc and a professional actress plays the role.

That's what's apparently happened with Steven Levenson's Girls Day, or Britney and Tara Stare Into the Void and the Void Stares Back, the play with the unwieldy title, coming to Ace of Clubs (9 Great Jones Street) starting May 11.

The plot? Well, in case you haven't picked up a tabloid in the last year and taken drugs and used your imagination, here goes: "Dateline: L.A. March 21, 2007. Britney Spears checks out of Promises Treatment Center after a one-month stint. So what's next for the derailed pop princess? GIRLS DAY, natch! Britney calls up gal pal Tara Reid to join her for one special, unforgettable day. An American tragedy, with special guest appearances by Jayden James, Sean Preston, a publicist, a social worker and, of course, K-Fed."

They had me until that last part. While I suspect off-Broadway is just where Britney belongs (and actually started, in a musical called Ruthless), I fear it's way too good for Mr. FedEx!

Who Will Get Tony Nominations? Only I Know--Or Care

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, March 28, 2008

I know I'm the only one within miles who gives a rat's ass about this, especially so early in the game, but please humor me as I put out my predictions for my favorite Tony awards category, Best Actress in a Musical. (Come on, please! This can't really harm anyone and it'll make me feel so good.) It's shaping up as a real wowser category, even better than last year when Christine Ebersole beat Audra McDonald and three other indestructible divas. This time, the nominees will surely be (drumroll): Patti LuPone, Gypsy (Ben Brantley raved! Yay!); Kelli O'Hara, South Pacific; Faith Prince, A Catered Affair; Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park With George; and Kerry Butler, Xanadu. I am so dead sure about these picks that I'm willing to suggest a very special can't-harm-anyone offer: If I'm wrong, you can buy me lunch to make me feel better.

What the Butler Saw: How Gay is Xanadu!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 26, 2008

Kerry Butler, the one on the left

As I mentioned in the column, I finally met Kerry Butler, the winning star of Broadway's nutty Xanadu, and she told me she LOVES it when she looks out into the audience and spots a lot of gays. "I think, 'Yay! it's gay night!'," Kerry exulted with a glinty smile. Of course the show has official Boys Nights, promotional events whereby they BEG for decorators from Hell's Kitchen to fill the seats. And Kerry simply adores that too. As she told me, "I wish every night was gay night!" Honey, over at Gypsy, it IS.

Legally Bland K-Fed Fails Upward To Broadway

Posted by Michael Musto at 11:07 AM, March 13, 2008

Reports are out there that Kevin Federline is in talks to enter the cast of Broadway's Legally Blonde in an assortment of smaller roles, including a UPS man! Well, the thoughts--or let's say mental impulses--that spring most readily to mind are:

*Thank God he's not going to be the lead. I doubt he could pull that off—even the MALE lead.

*When Britney filed for divorce, Kevin came to be so cleverly known as FedEx. So maybe the UPS part isn't that much of a stretch?

*Am I the only one who remembers that as a teensy tot, Britney was involved in a show called Ruthless as the understudy for Laura Bell Bundy, who now—hum the Twilight Zone theme, please—stars in Legally Blonde? Creepy, huh?

*And finally: What will be the next step in Broadway's stunt casting desperation—putting Elliot Spitzer's whore Kristen in Chicago? Don't laugh. At least SHE'S talented!

'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof': Now and Forever?

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 10, 2008

In my next column, I discuss the all-black Broadway revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but let me take a little extra time here to give my very white specifics on how each actor fares.

As Maggie, Anika Noni Rose has an endearing fierceness that makes that opening monologue truly move. This is a sassy Maggie, not a sultry one--and as a result, Liz Taylor remains the ultimate Maggie. You knew if a guy didn't want to sleep with her, he HAD to be gay!

As Brick, Terrence Howard sits out the other people's monologues with a sardonic approach that's very magnetic. But when he takes center stage for Act Two, the pacing lags as he overemotes on each line and tries to evoke tears (his own) instead of being more human and immediate. (I actually agree with Ben Brantley on this!)

As Big Daddy, the commanding James Earl Jones starts out brilliantly in the scene where he's reading Big Mama to filth. But once he has to sit down and converse with Brick, Jones becomes like a genus writer without a notepad. He has nothing to play with! As his wife, Phylicia Rashad is fun to watch, though she starts on too high a pitch, as if the whole play is about Big Mama. (And I guess to any actor playing her, it IS.) And as Mae, Lisa Arrindell Anderson projects "I'm a leering villain who's going to underline every cunty thing I say," which makes you distrust HER more than Mae. But her kids are amazing! And there's some real enjoyment to be had here despite the reservations, so give the kitty a chance.

Theater Tidbits for Show Queens

Posted by Michael Musto at 4:06 PM, March 6, 2008

First of all, they've changed the ending of Gypsy! After all these years! The very ending! Arthur Laurents has tampered with his own script in a subtle but crucial way that the kids over on the Broadway boards are frantically buzzing about! If you want a giant spoiler about how it's changed, please go THERE, so I can sleep easier tonight. Or just go see the damned show...Over at Secrets of a Soccer Mom, they're not changing the ending, but before the performances even start, they do serve free champagne to the audience--and hey, they're sort of looooovin' the show. . .Another bit of bubbly will come in June, when Joey Arias, the performance star who just came back from Vegas, is teaming with puppeteer Basil Twist for something at Here called Arias With a Twist. Maybe for the ending, Patti LuPone can. . .no, I'm not giving out spoilers, even for a joke.

Gypsy Mishap: Curtain Up! Air Vent Down!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, March 4, 2008

Everything's coming up roses over at the Broadway revival of Gypsy starring Patti LuPone, but unfortunately at the first preview last night, everything was coming down at the same time. Towards the end of the backstage musical, a poor woman in the balcony was hit by a falling piece of air vent and had to be led out of the theater amidst much commotion, as the troupers onstage kept going. "Patti really brought down the house," snapped a poster on allthatchat. "Your theater restoration fees put to good use," cracked another poster. In other scary Gypsy news, the lamb is apparently played by a puppet walked around the stage by a weird man in a beret. Ewww!

World Prepares to End as Clay Aiken Gets Raves!

Posted by Michael Musto at 3:00 PM, February 26, 2008

PhotoShopped image helpfully found at ClayAikenpins.com

Clay Aiken soils himself in Spamalot—but he's supposed to! And Newsday's Linda Winer swears the American Idol loser is absolutely "charming" in the outrageously sardonic show. Clay plays Sir Robin (formerly played by OPENLY gay actor David Hyde-Pierce) and Winer writes that he does it with an "aging cherub face" and "a childlike skip." What's more, the aging, skipping k.d. lang lookalike "blends into the sophomore adorableness of the show, even toying with his own girlish charisma at a piano topped with a Liberace candelabra." "Girlish charisma?" I'm guessing that won't be put in the ads. Still, congrats, Clay, honey. You're the new Fantasia. I may not be eating crow, but at the very least I'll eat some Spam—and maybe I'll even stop telling your irrepressible fans, the Claymates, to eat shit.

Is James Earl Jones' Big Daddy a Papi Chulo?

Posted by Michael Musto at 1:30 PM, February 19, 2008

Who do you want to see being all sexual and letchy, grabbing the ladies in between pawing his own crotch and shit? Seventy-seven year old James Earl Jones? Me too! Well, Brendan Lemon's culture-watch blog, lemonwade.com, says that's exactly what you can see in Broadway's newest version of Cat on a Hot Tin Woof, I mean Roof. Come on, don't say eww, say ooh!

Shrek Casting Gossip: Merrily We Troll Along

Posted by Michael Musto at 1:05 PM, February 15, 2008

Craig Bierko might very well play Shrek in the upcoming musical show based on the hit movie franchise, according to a poster on one of them there often-right Broadway boards. (If it's true, Bierko will be joining Sutton Foster, who's playing Fiona in the singing and dancing troll-athon.) "But isn't Shrek the straight man?" asked another poster, quizzically. Well, I know this is not what they meant, but Janeane Garofalo once told me she'd dated Bierko and "We both read gay, but we're both straight!"

Phallic Fallacies Imploded in Harvey Fierstein's New "Affair"!

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, February 12, 2008

I caught up with theater legend Harvey Fierstein to talk about A Catered Affair, the imminent Broadway musical he wrote the book for, including a juicy part for himself as a sympathetic gay uncle. We met at a party to celebrate the online wedding album to promote the show, which prompted Harvey to crack, "I thought the whole idea of the website is you don't HAVE to show up. That's the way my sex life works!" Speaking of
getting virtually screwed, Harvey told me he's miffed by criticism that there were no unapologetic gays in the 1950s, contrary to what his script presents. "Yeah, nobody sucked cock until 1964," he told me, rolling his eyeballs. "I'm sure Leonardo was just confused." To find out which Leonardo he meant, ha ha, and for his full set of comments on this tempestuous topic, check out the next column.

The most recent La Dolce Musto: "Harvey Fierstein on the History of Blowjobs"

The Color Purple in the Red?

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:00 PM, January 24, 2008

The cast of Broadway's The Color Purple have been told the show is closing on Feburary 24, according to a poster on talkinbroadway.com's allthatchat messageboard. Can an anonymous Broadway queen actually be a good source? Absolutely—in fact, one of them broke the story about Rent closing by posting it on broadwayworld.com—or they would have if that site didn't remove anything considered gossip. Well, THIS little gossip feels the lovely patchwork quilt of a show was way underrated and that when Fantasia stepped into the role of Celie, a special Tony award should have instantly been conferred at her feet. Of course, her absurd string of absences led to a whole lot of refunds and quite possibly to the end of The Color Purple, but still!

Most recent La Dolce Musto: "Terrence Howard's Latest Hustle and Flow"

Rent Star Lives La Vie Boheme

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, January 24, 2008

Daphne Rubin-Vega at Joe's Pub, photo by Broadway World

The probing and lively Theater Talk is the go-to show for Broadway buzz, with your yin-yang hosts Susan Haskins and Michael Riedel serving as your proverbial ushers. I just shot a segment for them with Daphne Rubin-Vega, Rent's original Mimi, about that boho smash's impact and legacy as it goes into foreclosure. In the green room, Daphne told me that at the height of her Rent explosion, her dad would get e-mails from guys saying his daughter almost turned them straight. I know the feeling; she once flashed me her cleavage to show me the holographic bra she had on, and I immediately ran home and burned my Madonna records. To pay her own rent, Daphne just filmed a part in the Sex and the City movie, as a woman giving Carrie marital advice in a bathroom, so she'd better be prepared for a whole new wave of rabid gay adoration!

Disney and Daniel Nardicio: A Hole New World

Posted by Michael Musto at 9:00 AM, January 22, 2008

The nuts over at Disney want to keep that company's clean-scrubbed followers away from jizz buckets, rim queens, and other gay raunch. According to both HX and Next magazines, promoter Daniel Nardicio has heard from Disney reps because his site, thedcard.com, provides an entree to free dirty events and wild porn, all with the motto "This year you'll party like a cockstar." The reps are not thrilled because people might confuse it with Disney's Dcard.com, which has to do with things like Hannah Montana reruns. Nardicio's holding tight, saying Disney doesn't own the letter d.

But I feel they DO own gay raunch. A visit to the Broadway version of The Little Mermaid unveiled the king's hot pecs, the prince's tighly caressed bubble butt, Flotsam and Jetsam squealing like twinks on tina, and a screaming queen dressed like a crab!

Most recent La Dolce Musto: "Oscar Predictions Filled With Greed and Vengeance!"

Betcha Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow . . . There'll Be Bad Musicals

Posted by Michael Musto at 8:00 AM, January 18, 2008

The news that a musical about Anne Frank is being produced in Spain reminded me of how ahead of the curve I was on THAT trend (along with white rap, Uggs, and fisting for dollars)! A couple of years ago, I dreamed up a very high concept musical dealing with plight of Anne Frank while whimsically combining it with that of a less bedraggled heroine. The theme song went like so: "I'm a billionaire who lives in a closet/Can't even leave the house to make a bank deposit/'Cause I'm Annie Warbucks--but I'm also Anne Frank!"

Too sick, even for Mel Brooks to complete? OK, fine, shut up--but did I tell you about my other musical called Miracle, a crowd pleaser about the turbulent early years of Helen Keller? In THAT unbeatable pastiche, another Annie--Ms. Sullivan--sings the immortal showstopper that goes: "Helen, Helen/Stop your yellin', Helen/I can't hear you and you can't hear yourself. . ." Fine, fuck you all, I'll go back to my Bin Laden ballet.

This week's La Dolce Musto: "Oscar Predictions Filled With Greed and Vengeance!"

Farewell to Rent and Renfro

Posted by Michael Musto at 4:02 PM, January 16, 2008

That toe-tapping AIDS musical, Rent, just posting a closing notice for June, having run out of tourists lining up to see singing lezzies, trannes, and PWAs. The irony doesn't escape me that this is a show about bohemians fighting a greedy landlord and now they can't pay their own housing bosses to keep a roof under their heads anymore. It's definitely a factor that the long-ago landscape of struggling East Village artists no longer feels warmly nostalgic—it seems like a sci-fi plot! But two things, I feel, put the final nail in Rent's lease: the stinky movie version and Spring Awakening! By the way, not to make this about myself, but Evelyn McDonnell, who coedited a book about Rent, told me her research revealed that an early version of the song "La Vie Boheme" include MOI in its breathless list of boho fabulosities. Along the way, some creep took it out and thus a smash was born.

Much sadder, actor Brad Renfro was found dead at 25 yesterday. Not to make this about me again, but while I hit a career high doing a character voice for an internet animated short about a party rabbit in 2000, I was stunned to see Renfro had shown up to voice the lead! This may not have exactly been a high for him, having starred in real films like The Client and Apt Pupil. But hey, show biz is up and down, it was supposedly for charity, and they had nabbed Jason Priestley too. Renfro seemed surprisingly streety to me, but very open, in a semi lost way. In any case, with everyone carrying on a macabre death watch for various starlets, it's strange that Renfro beat everyone to it.

This week's La Dolce Musto: "Oscar Predictions Filled With Greed and Vengeance!"

Tom Stoppard's Rock N' Roll: "To Be Or Not To. . . Line!"

Posted by Michael Musto at 2:50 PM, January 11, 2008

Last night, at the performance of Tom Stoppard's Rock 'N' Roll, Rufus Sewell went up on a line. (It's no wonder; there are so freakin' many of them.) After calling "Line!", Sewell asked the audience if they just should start the scene again, and they bravely ended up doing so. As a poster on All That Chat (on talkinbroadway.com) notes, maybe he was nervous because Al Pacino and Bruce Willis were in the audience. I'm sure the producers were nervous too, thinking, "We don't want to pay overtime. Just keep going!"