You've heard of Motel Hell?

Well, this is the opposite.

Here's the description of Motel/Hotel:

"Photographer Kevin McDermott spent two days and nights with model/designer Todd Sanfield;

Just when you thought I couldn't possibly get any more cutting edge, my raucously stimulating collection, Fork on the Left, Knife in the Back -- which came out to huzzahs last fall, I swear -- has just gone viral on Amazon.

I found that out in Maer Roshan's book Courtney Comes Clean: The High Life and Dark Depths of Music's Most Controversial Icon, a breezily arresting read full of snappy dialogue between himself and the woman he found both "exhilarating and exhausting."

Among the dizzying highlights, Love talks about:

Snooki

Well, I guess she knew that "Ode on a Grecian Urn" was already written, so she stuck with what she knows.

This is from the Jersey Shore star's new book, Confessions of a Guidette:

It's right next to ...

But here's another fascinating tidbit.

Before she was a TV star (Bridget Loves Bernie, Family Ties, etc.), Meredith actually considered selling her body.

Her dealer's girlfriend -- you heard me -- happened to be a high-class hooker who lived in luxury thanks to her astounding success at ho-ing her hooch.

Here are mine:

They have a novel coming out in November, and it's a real stretch -- it's about "three gorgeous celebrity sisters."

But what they don't have is a title.

So they're asking their fans to come up with one, if you don't mind.

I have some really strong suggestions, totally free of charge:

Don't Buy This Book!

But a whole new bunch of trash must have fallen off the truck because the other day, on my trip to the Boardwalk Empire, I found a cache of bestiality books piled up right next to the children's fiction!

I've read every celebrity memoir ever written (except for Keith Richards') because I love the inside dish, the self-aggrandizement, the bitterness, and the gloating, not to mention the peek into what makes these artists actually tick as people and performers.

Of course some are more compelling than others, but these five -- my faves -- don't let you down:

(5) "Bittersweet" by Susan Strasberg. A sad life is unfortunate, but at least it makes for a really terrific book. Strasberg explores her weird parenting, deranged marriage to an actor, and bizarre career, all with dark wisdom and self awareness.

(4) "Getting It Through My Thick Skull" by Mary Jo Buttafuoco. She's the lady who was shot in the face by her husband's girlfriend. The story of her awakening makes for surprisingly remarkable reading. You'll feel shot in the face.