Britney Spears' New Ad Campaign: What Think You?

Categories: Britney Spears

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It's the ad for Britney's fantasy twist perfume, which is two scents in one, and that's why we get no fewer than two Britneys in the ad.

Can you handle two Britneys?

Can you even handle one?

What's more, they seem to be popping out of each other's torsos, one of the Britneys being an upside-down Esmeralda type while the top Britney is a sort of Studio 54 gypsy woman crossed with Cee Lo Green.

And the "fantasy twist" logo conveniently covers up both of their cleavages.


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Britney's Acting Weird Again! Yay!

Categories: Britney Spears

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Britney Spears curbed her bizarre public behavior a while ago and the result was that she pulled her act together while remaining a viable music star.

Good for her. But an unfortunate side effect of this wonderful development is that the headlines stopped!

Without all the messy stuff happening, Britney ceased to sell tabloids, paving the way for other flashy, outrageous personalities and messes to dominate the pop media.


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Britney Spears Gets A Grand Diva Tribute

Categories: Britney Spears

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On tonight's VMAs, it became clear that Britney Spears -- once a tender tartlet in ruffles and not much else -- is now the grande dame of the music scene.

Basically, she's the new Madonna (minus the decision making).

Meanwhile, Madonna has become Cher (minus the Oscar).

And Cher has become Peggy Lee (minus the mole).


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Britney Spears' Femme Fatale: Is That a Good Title For Her?

The linked mtv.com piece wonders if Femme Fatale is an apt name for a Britney Spears album, seeing as that's precisely the one they've slapped on her upcoming assortment of suggestive pop songs.

Naturally, I'm one of the experts quoted in the item, and I'm rather proud of one of my quotes:

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Britney Spears, Here Are 11 More Suggestive Songs For You!

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Britney Spears has carved a lucrative niche out of singing double-entendre sex songs like "If You Seek Amy" and her latest, "Hold It Against Me."

Well, I've come up with yet another 11 surefire leering, nudge-nudge sex hits for the pop tart to open her mouth to, while her tongue wags. She can send the royalty checks to me care of the Voice.

Here goes:

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Did You Watch Britney on Glee?

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Are you a slave 4 the show or are your tastes so toxic you have to wait to see it on Hulu?

If you're in the latter category, I'm linking it right here.

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Mel Gibson Has Britney, Whoopi on His Side

In between spewing rants against Jews and blacks, Mel Gibson lent a helping hand to Britney Spears when she was undergoing her last public breakdown a couple of years ago.

So now comes the speculation -- will the pop tart return the favor and help the hatemonger?

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Britney Saves Lives!

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 It turns out it's not Madonna who has healing powers, despite having given birth to Lourdes. It's Britney, bitch! Proof of that is a BBC documentary called Britney Spears Saved My Life, and you'll simply have to believe me on that since I haven't lied to you that often before.

According to this Newsweek piece about the documentary, it includes an 18-year-old who embraced his gay sexuality thanks to the navel-bearing superstar. (Maybe looking at her without hair and having a public meltdown made him say, "You know what? It's men that are attractive.") It also covers a 15-year-old girl who overcame her eating disorder thanks to Brit. (Perhaps she saw the debilitating effects of Spam, Ho-Hos, and Chuck E. Cheese, and went organic instead.)

But seriously, folks, Britney has had an uplifting effect on the youth of the world, and even on some old-timers. She sure perked up my press portfolio last week because I'm quoted in the article!

Who's The Biggest Pop Diva of All?

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Which glorious singer with female private parts do you feel reigns over all the other pretenders (and no, this has nothing to do with "Now that Jacko's gone...")

The top diva choices are:

Lady Gaga. Her three songs are fee-eerce. Will her future be so bright she still has to wear shades?

Rihanna. Bad taste in men, but great taste in producers. Please don't stop her music.

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Britney's New Video is Filth on a Stick

Remember the old days, when pop stars had to sneak coded words into their songs to get subversive messages on the radio? ("Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" was mumbo jumbo meant to signify "LSD"--though John Lennon denied that to his death. Ooh, cool shit!)

Well, Dame Britney Spears has caught on to that ruse. Her new video is called "If You Seek Amy," which if you say it 100 times fast starts to sound like "F-U-C-K me." And people are! They're loving the whole dirtiness of it all--though to me, the really obscene thing is that is sounds just like "Womanizer"!

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