​Remember the Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean, who Bible thumped her way to an anti-gay marriage stance, which seemed strange considering she had gotten biblical with herself for various photos and videos that seemed extremely unholy when they surfaced for the frothing masses?

Carrie was promptly deprived of her Miss California crown, which was followed by a mess of juicy lawsuits and countersuits.

Well, outside Sister Act last night, a guy approached me and said,

"Hi, Michael, I'm Keith Lewis from the Miss California USA pageant."

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​That's what I was accused of by a Facebook friend.

He wrote, "So I hear you're going to be in an anti-bullying video.

But aren't you the one who bullied and maligned Carrie Prejean?"

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​It seems that every few weeks, a new scandal from bible thumping hypocrite Carrie Prejean comes to the public's attention, and the deposed beauty-queen-turned-professional-victim declares, "That was the biggest mistake of my life" blah blah fucking blah.

But what she really means is "That was the biggest mistake of my life that y'all have found out about so far!"

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In an already legendary fit, Carrie Prejean took her mic off and waltzed off the set on Larry King Live the other night, upset about Larry's questioning and the fact that he was allowing call-ins whereas she'd supposedly made a deal forbidding that to happen.

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​The new I'm-a-victim book by dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean might play well in the hinterlands (though it was ranked #595 on Amazon last time I looked), but In New York it's not exactly getting a royal treatment.

In fact, I dropped by the Lincoln Center area Barnes & Noble yesterday to glance at the book (not to buy it, mind you) and couldn't even find it! It wasn't featured in any of the store's many windows. And it was nowhere to be seen on the main floor, including in the big display spread of new non-fiction titles right where you enter.

I asked the info clerk where this bulbous epic by Ms. Prejean might be and she said "Who?" After I spelled it, she said, "Oh, yeah. It's on the third floor." Two long elevator rides later, I looked at the memoirs and bios on display there and still couldn't find it!

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​It was a big week for sex tapes, Carrie Prejean coming clean about her solo video done when she was a mere teen, for a boyfriend's delectation, and Jennifer Lopez managing to nab a temporary restraining order against her first husband's pesky attempts to market their honeymoon fooling-around epic, which is apparently way better than Maid in Manhattan.

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​Yesterday, the bombshell dropped that dethroned Miss Calfornia Carrie Prejean has a sex tape floating around, one that the ever sensitive TMZ.com won't publish because it's just too tit-iliciously racy.

But just the fact that a tape like that exists makes my own chest swell with fury!

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...and balloon girl Carrie Prejean, ba dum pum!

Yes, in a riveting, panoramic segment on MSNBC's Countdown With Keith Olbermann last night, we talked about that zany little balloon boy and why his dad once commissioned TV theme songs that sound like the Beverly Hillbillies tune on extra mooonshine.

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​Remember when dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean sued the pageant organization for all kinds of not-very-pretty slander and discrimination issues? Well, nyah, nyah, nyah, they're suing her back!

They say the tiara-challenged beauty's suit was merely a cheesy attempt to "extend her notoriety." So they're going to extend it even more by lashing back at the tempestuous vixen--you know, the one who cried victim even as she allegedly broke her contract more times than I've broken my Canal Street watch.

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You have to believe me! The dethroned Miss California who only favors "opposite marriage" is suing the pageant people for dumping her and exposing her to all kinds of mockery--including my "vicious attack" of one-liners on Countdown With Keith Olbermann! The lawsuit names my ass!

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