I was terrified to meet Miss Ross because she was my longtime idol, and, besides, I'd heard about what a weirdo she can be.

You know, "Don't talk to her, don't look at her, don't call her Diana, don't even breathe the same oxygen."

Partly thanks to an ongoing bitchfight between someone named Hector and the people who hate him (some of whom pretend to be Hector), this bitter battle full of both pride and stupidity has made it to the top slot, with 551 comments and counting, as I wonder "Where did our love go?"

Adam Lambert reacts to his own reflection.

This contest is even tighter than Bush vs. Gore, and I feel like someone can swoop in and steal Florida at any minute.

Writer Mark Bego was at the funeral, and he vividly tells about Diana Ross's sad attempts to upstage the whole thing in his imminent memoir, Paperback Writer.

Take it away, Mark:

As we dive hat first into the insanity of Fashion Week, do tell me: Are either of those frou-frou chronicles your favorite fashion film of all time?

That's the rumor coming down the turnpike, insiders swearing that for Miss Ross's next album, the very white Diana Krall will produce a back-and-forth number featuring the Motown superstar and the Oscar winning Jewess. And gays of a certain age are wetting their pink panties!