Joan Crawford must be rolling because Todd Haynes has apparently done a solid job in adapting Mildred Pierce into a five-hour HBO miniseries that will premiere on March 27.

In the below review, cultural critic Brendan Lemon says he liked Kate Winslet in the title role--she's right for it, and has the time to flesh it out--and he also gives thumbs up to Brian F. O'Byrne as thoroughly modern Mildred's first husband.

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The big draw for tonight's premiere of HBO's A Mother's Courage: Talking Back to Autism was the little lady who did the narration--someone by the name of Kate Winslet.

Several journalists I know were planning to go in hopes of cornering Kate to ask her, not about autism, but about her upcoming HBO version of Mildred Pierce and whether she'll wear shoulder pads.

Well, I just got an updated tip sheet for the event and Winslet is no longer on the "expected to attend" list, unsurprisingly enough.

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I'm a big believer in the Oscar curse on celebrity marriages:

When one party in a couple wins the award, especially if it's a woman, the relationship often crumbles to the curb even harder than Meryl's chance for a third trophy.

It's just too much for a show biz ego, particularly a male one, to bear.

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How gay were the Oscars? Well, Queen Latifah sat with her trainer girlfriend; Hugh Jackman sat on Frank Langella's lap; Beyonce sang "Over The Rainbow"; Milk writer Dustin Lance Black and star Sean Penn gave stirring speeches about how God loves the gays; and kisses from that film were included in the romance AND comedy montages!

Unfortunately, the ratings were probably so bad they can now blame queers for one more thing!

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I already handed Hollywood a money-making idea by posting a hallucination about The Reader 2, in which Kate Winslet would play a blind Nazi who has to feel the faces of various people to determine if they're Jewish before deciding their destiny. (Stereotypical and offensive? Yes. Heartbreaking and Oscar-grubbing? You betcha.)

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The holocaust has been an even bigger trophy grabber than ever this past year, so you just know Hollywood will find a way to do yet more crazily inspiring stories about Nazis with disabilities. How long before we're treated to The Reader 2: This Time She's Blind? The heart-tugging sequel can have Kate Winslet as a sight-impaired Nazi who has to feel people's faces to determine if they're Jewish before throwing them into the camps. Seeing as she's full of stereotypical bigtory (but deep down kind of lovable and misunderstood), the woman learns to feel for hook noses, unaware that a Jewish surgeon in hiding (played by Ron Silver) has been whittling down semitic shnozzes for free. The climax of the film comes when Winslet feels the face of a young boy (Dev Patel) and likes what she feels, leading to much interpersonal exploration and learning. Oy! Even if Mel Brooks directs this, I don't want it!