She tweeted just that mere hours ago.
But of course, it was April Fools Day. Whew!
But wait a minute. Lindsay happened to have posted the tweet after midnight, EST.
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The New York Times has run a blisteringly vivid account of Lindsay Lohan's antics on the set of her latest film--the one where she costars with porn star James Deen--and it's quite a read.
As Dlisted generously distills it for us, the piece spans Lindsay agreeing to do a four-way in the film, getting axed for not showing up for rehearsal (I guess she can do a four-way in her sleep), screaming and pounding on the director's door and almost requiring police aid, getting the job again, then hoisting yet more cocktails.
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I know you're all rolling your eyes and going, "So?"
But hold on to your tabloid subscriptions, kids.
There's a real shocker involved here.
It turns out Lindsay wasn't arrested for...
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They're calling it "Lindsay Lohan's confusing new movie trailer", but it's quite clear to me.
It's a loving sendup of a 1952 pulp drama, this one featuring Lindsay and a real porn star, James Deen.
The film is called The Canyons and it's written by Bret Easton Ellis and helmed by "the never nominated director Paul Schrader".
They were having a nice time.
But then Lindsay noticed photos he'd taken of her in his cell phone.
And I guess they weren't properly photoshopped or something.
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No, not for trying to play Liz Taylor.
For a NYC driving incident where she allegedly clipped a pedestrian's knee, then left the scene of the accident (though one of her passengers did nicely check the car for damages, if not the pedestrian).
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From the below "highlight reel" alone, there's more uncomfortableness in the air as Dr Phil grills Dina Lohan than there was in the audience for Lindsay's last movie.
Phil starts out by saying Dina has been called "the worst mother in America, the worst parent ever."
"That's so me," says Dina, sarcastically.
"You're like in your little your little tie, your little shoes..." she continues, bristling at her interviewer.
"What the hell does that mean?" Phil responds.
He then goes on the counter-attack:
"You have come on here and been phony, flitting around..."
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I'm glad the troubled pop tart has gotten a gig, especially since the price tag -- reportedly almost a million -- could probably help her pay off some debts and buy a couple of bottles of spring water while she's at it.
But I'm feeling that:
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Has she gotten calmer, skankier, more defiant, less lip-glossed, or all of the above?
Check out the sad progression and pray for her.
Clockwise, starting with top, left:
July 24, 2007; November 15, 2007; July 20, 2010; September 24, 2010.
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