According to this British newspaper review of Madge's new album, the song "I Don't Give A" is a tabloid lover's delight filled with wonderfully real recrimination and seething bitterness.
Just what we want from a pop song!
The song goes:
"I tried to be a good girl
"I tried to be your wife
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No, she's not going to do a movie of Cleopatra set in the Detroit cheerleading community.
Or start a weight-loss Pilates regimen for women over 50 called Reductives.
And no, she's not going away any time ... ever!
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Face it.
She did fine at the Super Bowl.
She led us through a pop-culture carnival involving gladiators, acrobats, cheerleaders, guest stars, lip-synching, a stumble, and a Wicked Witch of the West exit, followed by the rousing message of "Buy My Album," I mean, "World Peace."
(And after she ferociously seized back her moment, guess what music was playing when they returned to the game? Lady Gaga!)
Anyway, the whole world was buzzing about the performance like a blood-red vibrator.
And here's what Madge's lesbian funny-lady friends had to say about it on Twitter:
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The lady who memorably Marilyn'd it up with "Material Girl" is doing it again in her new video, maybe to show what Marilyn would have been like if she'd lived past 36.
The video -- for Madge's song "Give Me All Your Luvin'" (featuring M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj) -- is a glossily photographed romp that has our star pushing a stroller, waving pom-poms, and playing the platinum sexpot, surrounded by scads of faceless football players and some happening guest stars.
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Feuds have made Madonna exciting again, from Elton John snarling at her at every swivel to Lady Gaga appropriating Madonna's chord progression -- not to mention her spotlight -- in a "reductive" way.
And I've figured out what this all reminds me of!
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On February 5, Madonna will be the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl, doing the impossible by turning a sports game into a Gay Olympics event.
Her guest star will supposedly be Cee Lo Green, and Madge will probably also be joined by her recording co-stars Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.
But she won't do a Janet!
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Madonna has done the impossible.
Just by sticking it out, playing the game, and being simultaneously fabulous and appalling, she's made herself buzz-able again.
Among her strokes of genius:
*The annoying but hugely watched fashion-line promo video with the daughter, which some slow-witted observers refused to see as satirical. (Did they ever find the face of Material Girl, by the way? I never got a callback.)
*The remarks about Gaga. (Madonna admires her talent, but felt "Born This Way" was "reductive." You can bitch about that critique all you want, but we all said the same thing when it came out.)
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While her homeless brother Anthony is trying to scare up money, Madonna and her daughter Lola are looking for the new face of Material Girl in this promotional video, which starts amusingly, but by the end of it has you feeling it's a little immaterial.
Anthony Ciccone is homeless in the state of Michigan and a Facebook page has been to set up to collect money to help him.
Remember last week, when Madonna dissed a hydrangea bouquet that was given to her, muttering (after the giver had walked away) that she absolutely loathes that particular form of flora?
Well, she's turned apologetic about the whole thing -- and she's being funny and clever about it, too.
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