It was as inevitable as the new Terminator flick: Nadya Suleman, the illustrious creature who had eight embryos implanted, becoming the world famous Octomom, will be singing and dancing, if not exactly ovulating. Well, someone playing her will be singing and dancing, if not exactly etc, etc. Some guy has written a musical about Nadya's headline-grabbing private parts and is casting around for someone to play the big mama. "We're looking for a great singer, pole-dancer, and child-rearing comedian," says the enterprising showman, not to mention someone who presumably looks like Angelina Jolie--or at least think she does.

For a title, I'd say make a play on Nine--the musical based on 8 1/2, which will come out as a film this year--and call it simply Eight. Or factor in ALL of Nadya's kids and call it 14. Yes, a Broadway show called 13 bombed this year, but that's an unlucky number, and this would be one better. Or maybe just abort the whole thing before it pops out at us.

Who's the grandest, most baby popping mother in our great tabloid nation? Here are your mo-fo choices:

*Nadya Suleman, the octuplet lady. She's popped out 14 human lives in total, all thanks to the very same sperm donor (Jodie Foster?). The woman spews children out of her privates like a Civil War cannon. And she looks like Angelina Jolie! Making her a little less popular, though, is the fact, that California tax money is supporting her embryo mania.

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