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Blurbed on the cover of Betty White's new book, If You Ask Me, is none other than vampy, scampy Robert Pattinson, who offers:

"Betty White is one of the sexiest women in America."

Take that, Kim Kardashian.

Well, at Betty's TimesTalk last night, critic Frank Bruni asked the Hot in Cleveland star:

"What did you have to do to get him to say that?"

Replied the venerable supernova:

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​A breathless call came in from a friend the other day. "I saw Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on TV," she said, panting, "and I realized something: They're gay! They're bearding for each other! They come off completely 'that way'!"

Yikes! Could it be true? Two actors in a movie actually homosexual? (Rolls eyes.)

But wait a minute, I'm really not so sure.

Yeah, Kristen seems a bit butchie to me, but maybe she's just a free spirit with a brooding demeanor and a refusal to over-play the femme game.

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There's an old game that pervs play called "Fuck-Marry-Kill," where someone comes up with three names of either celebs or people you know, and you decide which one of the three you'd like to fuck, which one you'd marry, and which one you'd kill.

Well, we don't believe in actual violence here at LDM, so let me amend that devilish little pastime to the more family-friendly "Fuck-Marry-Slap-On-The-Wrist."

And here are your choices: Adam Lambert, Chace Crawford, and Robert Pattinson.

I personally would marry Chace, fuck Robert, and slap Adam.

And you?