These are definitely the most arresting images from a hotel balcony since Michael Jackson dangled Blanket.

"Tom Cruise recently flagged Zac Efron down in the lobby of CAA to ask: 'You ride motorcycles?'

"When Efron said he didn't, Cruise asked 'You wanna learn how?' and proceeded to invite him out to his house, taught him how a motorcycle engine works, and showed him the hangar which houses his collection including the Triumphs he rode in the Mission: Impossible movies.

(A) The person you're currently with

(B) Someone you used to be with

(C) Someone who never loved you back

(D) Someone you've never even met

(E) No one. I don't believe in this concept.

I'll go with choice (F): Zac Efron.

How gay were the Oscars? Well, Queen Latifah sat with her trainer girlfriend; Hugh Jackman sat on Frank Langella's lap; Beyonce sang "Over The Rainbow"; Milk writer Dustin Lance Black and star Sean Penn gave stirring speeches about how God loves the gays; and kisses from that film were included in the romance AND comedy montages!

Unfortunately, the ratings were probably so bad they can now blame queers for one more thing!

There was only one person more horrified than moi about the supposed plan to do a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and that's the film's creator/costar Richard O'Brien. According to imdb.com, O'Brien told the BBC, "I'm not coproducing it and I won't be involved in any way. It doesn't have my blessing. I don't know where they'll go with it really...I've even heard that they're going to put new songs in. I wrote the book, the music, and the lyrics. Where are they going to get the songs from? Who's going to do that? That's a bit strange isn't it?"

Ex West Coaster at Hiro Ballroom: "L.A. rips out your soul!" . . .

Guy to friend at the Madison: "I'll poop on a drag queen if that'll make things more interesting for you." . . .

Guy at Barracuda: "I wish guys would be upfront about their business before you get them in bed. I went home with a guy who said he wanted me to defecate in his mouth." No! Do it on a drag queen! . . .

An ex-tabloid employee at Ben Widdicombe and Horacio Silva's house party: "Not being one of those people who thinks mental illness is a spectator sport, I didn't think it was a good fit for me to work there." . . .

Friend to me: "I'm moving into a very small one-bedroom just like yours. But that's OK, it'll only be for three months." . . .

Web chatterer: "The last time Simon Dumenco interviewed a gay twink (Queer as Folk's Randy Harrison), he ended up living with him. Will the same thing happen now that he's interviewed Zac Efron for Details?"