​In a new twist on a fiery Facebook drama, abstinence-loving Bristol Palin has stepped in to apologize for her sister Willow Palin having called a guy who'd derided mama's Alaska show an f-word.

But her apology is even more half-hearted than her sexual politics.

First off, she doesn't apologize for the hate language, she only says they shouldn't have responded to negative comments.

That response is carefully designed to avoid taking a stand on what was actually said in weeping Willow's exchange.

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Sarah Palin's TLC show Sarah Palin's Alaska is a touching, beautiful tribute to the state Palin basically said "fuck you" to by dropping out of the governorship to grab more money and power.

Well, in defending the show on Facebook, her 16-year-old daughter Willow Palin told someone, "Your so gay" and "you such a [f word]."

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"Andrew Cuomo won big, Christine O'Donnell lost big, and Sharron Angle can now go become the Mad Hatter at her own private Tea Party."

So says visual artist Rob Roth, and he's definitely got a point.

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You know, the idiotic Midland School Board member who wrote on Facebook that he wouldn't wear purple in memory of the teen gay suicides because, "The only way I wear it for them is if they all commit suicide.

"We are honoring the fact that they sinned and killed therselves because of their sin.

REALLY PEOPLE."

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​"In fact, we don't serve soda at all!

We are a speakeasy.

They didn't have that then!"

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​By now, you've probably heard about Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who had an altercation with a passenger who was defying orders, so he made a crusty speech over the loudspeaker, opened the emergency exit, and slid down the inflatable slide onto the tarmac, eventually getting into his car and driving away.

Fortunately, the plane was on the ground when this happened, having just landed.

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​We know that Mel Gibson isn't terribly fond of gays because we saw Braveheart (though he obviously likes them well enough to grab a paycheck off them; his next movie is The Beaver, directed by Jodie Foster).

We know he doesn't care much for Jews because of his famous drunken rant against cops, in which he contended, "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" in between muttering, "My life is fucked."

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​This whip-smart observation about the queen of Wasilla just came in from reader Allan Hayton, who should know, since he's from Alaska himself:

"Seeing as how Sarah Palin is so fond of spreading her message of hate and intolerance via Twitter, I think it is only appropriate we call her Twitler from here on out."

"Heil, Twitler"?

Why do I feel as if Jesse James just popped a boner?

​Failed VP candidate Sarah Palin is very big on telling people they should be axed from their jobs--a bizarre role to assign yourself in this economy.

The downsizing queen just went to Nevada to announce "You're fired, Harry!"--meaning that right-wing voters should gather to bump Democratic Majority leader Harry Reid out of office because she's not terribly fond of his ideas.

And it wasn't that long ago that she urged Obama to push Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel into unemployment for using a word that Levi Johnston said SHE privately uses all the time.

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​Well, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he's bi--or perhaps he just needed a drink so badly that he had to step into the nearest watering hole, not realizing it was a gay bar, ha ha.

[Update: He came out and explained that he votes against pro-gay measures merely to please his constituency. Oy.]

In any case, California State Senator Roy Ashburn is co-helming a rally on April 2 to beg people to preserve traditional marital values.

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